Subbing to reply later. I HATE FB with a passion and even though it's 'part of society' I refuse to let society dictate how I behave and what happens to photographs of my own children.
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06-05-2016 08:30 #21
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06-05-2016 09:23 #22
I am big on FB, I am on it all the time, and I put up gazillion pictures of myself, my husband and my son. But they are set to friends only, no one else can see them.
When I was preg with DS, I did not make a preg announc, Neither have I done for this preg. As for the birth, We requested everyone to not say a word on FB until we do, and everyone followed it.
You just have to decide what you are comfortable with, and then ask your family to follow that, and sometimes you have to say that this must be followed, simply saying that you would like this to be followed doesn't work.
06-05-2016 10:02 #23
I have so many lists and settings on FB it's not funny.
I value my privacy and inner head space so if I share anything at all it goes to a select few. I prefer to private message friends with news or chit chat.
Same with photos.
The oldies are THE worst when it comes to sharing photos you don't want the world to see. When I say the world I mean people on your friend list who would be acquaintances, you may not have spoke in ages but you like them enough not to delete them.
Anyway, time and time again I have had rows with my mother and DH's aunties! (AUNTIES) for sharing whole albums of mine.
These are the very peple who know nothing about settings, their pages are public!
There just shouldn't be a way to do this.
That's my biggest gripe with FB.
You can have all your privacy settings as high as possible but once a pic is out there, if someone wants to copy it, it's gone.
I was extremely cagey and private about my last pregnancy.
Even close friends didn't know until we announced the birth.
I just felt wary of sharing the news after a miscarriage and with each milestone I felt I would jinx it.
It was really nice not having a million questions in relation to it as well.
But, what did my mam do at 36 weeks?
Posted a pic of me and my sis on the beach, two big pregnant bellies on us!
She hasn't got a huge friend list but there was one link that would have completely blown it for me.
They just don't think.
I don't think just because it's 2016 and this is life now that we just have to accept it.
Yes it's all very new, and especially to the oldies they have to get their head around the fact that they're not in a room with a select few, they're speaking to a vastly bigger audience, but there's etiquette.
And the more we let things slide on that the more of a cesspit the on-line world will become.
Anyway, I'm not into pouring my heart and soul out on it. I share photos of the family to the family because they're all overseas and I get to see the cousins and new babies at home.
It makes that part of life very, very easy for me.
That's a great idea about having a private group to talk to the family about the pregnancy and share photos in.
I wish I had thought of that but I had an ongoing group chat with the people who mattered so it was kind of the same thing, just a smaller number of people involved.
06-05-2016 11:22 #24
my dh's SIL is a social media addict and has no filter for propriety and zero manners. I actually think there's something wrong with her but that's a whole other kettle of fish.
after ds was born and finally had a name (11 days later lol), we put a pic of him up on fb and announced the birth and name. both our fb accounts are pretty private and SIL has us both blocked (again no idea why, she's just very weird) however she likes to view our pages using her hubby's account (so dh's brother).
she must've found our announcement as I get a random text from my sister with a screenshot of sil's fb. she's stolen the pic we put up of ds and made her own announcement on her fb account (which we can't see due to her having us blocked). the post made zero mention of any congrats to the new parents, just how her DD is excited to finally be a big cousin.
it took much willpower to hold back the anger and venom I felt towards her at that moment but I texted to advise we weren't happy and to remove the post immediately as she hadn't asked our permission to use the pic. she'd also spelled ds' middle name wrong (it's Leo, how hard is it to get that right!?).
dh then called his brother to explain why we were upset and his brother just hung up on him. they've not spoken since.
I have no issue with social media when it is used appropriately. taking a pic without permission of someone else's child and posting it yourself (esp when you have said child's parents blocked!!) is crossing a serious line.
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