We did a pre marriage counselling, and we both read a book that was religious? but not so exactly to one faith. The book covered many different elements about child raising and discipline. We both agreed with most everything in the book. We were on a the same page, but our methods were a bit different at first. Also, my Dh had a job that took him away for an average of three weeks occasionally, so I was doing everything on my own sometimes. I just want to say, it is not easy to get everything right and to agree with everything that your partner does. Life is a series of compromises, and you have to find a middle ground. If this is becoming a serious treat to your stability as a family, then you need to take proper steps to find a solution. perhaps there is a method you can both agree on, and also include the children in the best method that they are happy with. (If your children are old enough ) ? marie.
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03-05-2016 11:03 #71
03-05-2016 12:19 #72
03-05-2016 12:49 #73
03-05-2016 13:37 #74
OP: I'm a bit like your partner in the way I respond to our kids. It's awful, and I know better. I'm a qualified teacher, I work with children who've been removed from their families and I'm well-versed in child development...I still struggle to moderate my responses when it comes to my own daughter. I'm well aware that it's a problem though, and am working very hard on it.
I guess the issue here is not just his behaviour, but the fact that it's causing tension and distress for the whole family and he doesn't appear willing to change.
Other than what you've already done, my only real thought is counseling/parenting classes. In the end though, it does come down to what you can live with. If your partner absolutely will not budge, then you have to make the decision as to whether his parenting is a deal breaker in your relationship. If you knew, guaranteed, that he would never change...would you still be willing to be in the relationship?
03-05-2016 13:54 #75
03-05-2016 13:55 #76Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
04-05-2016 10:39 #77Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
This is how I would approach it. I would sit down and say the way WE are parenting at the moment isn't working. WE are giving mixed messages and fighting over it. WE need to have a united front. I think WE should sit down and talk about how WE want to parent. I would then start by asking him how he thinks I could improve and also mention some things I want to improve on. Stop and listen to everything he has to say even if you don't agree.
If he says you need to be more strict, take that on board. What things does he think you need to be more strict with. See if you can make some compromise.
Then its his turn. Before you start ask him to give you the same courtesy and listen to everything you have to say.
If it starts turning into a fight I would say this isn't a fight this is a discussion lets cool down, thing about the constructive things that were said and come back to it later and I would walk away.
Might not work for everyone and sometimes people don't want to change but maybe it might work.
04-05-2016 11:42 #78Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
04-05-2016 14:10 #79
04-05-2016 14:27 #80
Sounds like history repeating to me!
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