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29-04-2016 21:34 #41
29-04-2016 21:38 #42Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I think it's different maybe when your first babe is small? I think I might have felt similarly had anyone (esp MIL) said that but now that I'm an old fart mum, I love it!
It's not possessive, it's just genuine love from my village - mine are 10, 8 and 4 and are all called "mine" in many different ways from my family and friends and it's heartening.
29-04-2016 21:41 #43
I think it's wonderful that your son has such a doting family.
My MIL calls my girls hers all the time. It's nice she is so proud /doting of them.
29-04-2016 23:14 #44
You know I haven't had mine yet as I'm currently pregnant with my first but I think this would annoy me depending on the gender of the person and the way it's said and it's probably totally out there In my reasoning but
IE if my dad, baby's grandfather, said "come here me* boy"
Or if a female relative
IE MIL said "come here MY boy" I would be annoyed with her and not my dad and feel like oh no you don't that's MY baby not yours lady!
Is it a deep seated DNA thing protective of our families from other females because they too can also bare children and we feel threatened subconsciously...? That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it 😜
30-04-2016 02:02 #45
Yep drives me nuts!
30-04-2016 04:01 #46
Gosh I say that to my 3 year old nephew all the time. Often without thinking I'll say "my darling" ( or other loving term). It's not ownership at all its just a sign of love and connection.
I love that little guy so so much and would do absolutely anything for him. I'm not saying I own him, just he is a very special person to me. He comes for a sleepover a couple times a month and we see him at least weekly but trust me I'm always happy to return him!
My sister has never expressed an issue with it either. So if any of you are my sister speak up now.
I tend to agree with PP who talked about a village. It's so important yet as a culture we tend to not put our money where our mouths are.
30-04-2016 05:43 #47Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Wow. A grandparent referring to a child as "My boy etc" wouldn't bother me and I don't see why it would bother anyone... it is their grandchild and they love them a lot. God people complain about petty stuff. It wouldn't even bother me if it was a close friend saying it. For god's sake. There are so many more problems in the world. Be grateful these people love your children so much.. especially the grandparents.
30-04-2016 06:16 #48
Not everyone has a loving extended family who genuinely love the children and act like a supportive 'village'.
But I guess for those who haven't experienced this themselves its hard to understand....and easy to sit in judgement and call others petty, without knowing the background. Still, I'd never wish it upon them, and I'm glad others have loving families.
30-04-2016 07:05 #49
When my mil see's dd she will often say 'where's my little darling' or hold her & say 'my darling' while giving her a cuddle. That's never annoyed me at all, I think it's lovely. I hope she will have a good relationship with her grandparents like I have with mine.
My own grandparents (so dd's great grandparents) also call her 'my little darling' & again I think it's lovely they're very doting over her. It makes me feel good that she means a lot to other family too
It would bother me however if anyone said 'where's my baby, 'give me my baby' or said things that insinuated they were the parents.
My good friend had trouble when she was pregnant with her own mum referring to her first baby as 'my baby'. She has a fairly good relationship with her mum but she just called her out on it & asked her to stop saying it which she did.
I think a lot of people get excited when there's a baby around & probably don't think too much into what they're saying. I think it's quite nice they refer to my dd as 'my darling'.
30-04-2016 07:09 #50
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