So I'll start by saying I'm not someone who happily co sleeps, my ideal would be to have a baby that sleeps happily on his own in his own room without needing me to help him fall asleep or back to sleep. However that is just not happening right now so instead of constantly stressing about all the bad habits I'm creating and how I'm going to break them, I think j need to readjust my ideal and try to accept things for how they are for now.
So the background is that my 10 month old ds2 has always been a bad sleeper waking frequently, needing feeding to go back to sleep etc but recently things have hit rock bottom as we have just been on holiday and in order to keep him quiet for the sake of the rest of the flat I just gave in and did whatever worked. So although we did some cc sleep training at 6 months and were at the point that he was happy going to sleep on his own, would wake 2-3 times overnight and would need a feed to settle again, we are now at the point where I'm co sleeping with him and feeding him 6-8 times per night (although many times it's not a feed, just a few sucks then he falls asleep again. But if i try to use dummy he goes mad). When I have him in our bed dh sleeps on the sofa as our bed isn't big enough for us all but I then stress all night that ds2 is doing to fall out as he's so mobile now. Last night I resorted to climbing into his travel cot so I didn't have to worry about his falling out and although I couldn't move much he did sleep better. He was also easier to resettle without feeding as was happy with the reassurance of me being there. Just now for his nap I did the same and he went to sleep within seconds.
He's definitely got some separation anxiety issues, I can't leave the room without him crying and even when he's with other people he will cry and want to go to me most of the time. So although I would love to solve the sleeping with sleep training of some sort I think trying to do cc again will kill him. I think maybe I should focus on trying to reduce the night feeding (comfort sucking) first by co sleeping somehow and then work on the co sleeping.
My idea is to try and set up a cot with a drop down side next to a low bed/mattress on the floor so I can sleep in his room and not worry about waking dh, I can put him in his own space so I can sleep better but he will have the security of me being there. In the past I've tried both of us on an air bed but it just didn't work. Even co sleeping in our bed doesn't work well as he just wants to play, tries to climb headboard etc and doesn't seem to sleep particularly well, still waking frequently and struggling to get back to sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? Their babies sleeping better in a smaller confined space but close to parent? Then I imagine the transition is to put the side up and then gradually move away. How long does this take? At what age have you tried?
I know most people who co sleep do it by choice so probably have no plans to transition unless necessary but as I've said its not a situation I would want to continue longterm. I'm desperate to wean him as he is cmpi and I'm just losing so much weight being dairy free and feel that my health and possible milk supply may be suffering so would prefer to wean him but obviously the frequent night feedings are hindering that.
Sorry for long rambling post, I'm still going to look into sleep training options and am going to seek referral to sleep centre but my gut feeling is that I know and have tried most of the methods available to no avail so I should just do what works for now.
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27-04-2016 13:41 #1
Transitioning from co sleeping
27-04-2016 14:09 #2
You need to make his bedroom a happy place .
Play games etc. tickle him. Do this in cot. Aeroplane etc. make hubby too.
Get him a toy blanket thing
Play white noise from an iPhone or something
Talk through the crying. We did I understand your sad I'm still here I love you etc.
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27-04-2016 15:40 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
Subbing, my 9 month old is exactly the same and I'm hoping for some words of wisdom.
27-04-2016 15:42 #4
We are a bed sharing family but night weaned gently anft moved our older two to their own rooms soon after.
We used Dr Jay Gordons night weaning method very very successfully twice with no tears dd1 and some lower lip trembling from dd2.
Moving to their room - I put a mattress on the floor of their room and slept there whilst they were in the cot. Made resettles in the night easier. Over time it just became easy.
27-04-2016 15:48 #5
We needed professional help and did a 4 night / 5 day sleep school. We went from cat naps, and crap co-sleeping at night to better day sleeps DS sleeping in cot over night.
I couldn't have done it without help from nurses.
Is sleep school an option for you?
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27-04-2016 17:24 #6
27-04-2016 17:25 #7
27-04-2016 18:16 #8
29-04-2016 08:45 #9
For all those who co sleep what is your evening routine like? Do you lie down with baby until they ate asleep? How long does it take? What then happens when they wake in the evening?
Normally I have both boys in bed by 7.30 (I used to bath then together, put ds2 to bed then finish up with ds1 doing story etc) but now I can't really do that as I need to spend so long trying to put ds2 to sleep. Then once they are asleep I spend the only couple hours I have to myself to have a shower, cook and eat dinner etc before bed at about 10.30. However now ds2 needs me to be close to him I'm struggling in the evenings as I'm spending most of it in and out of his room trying to resettle him. (Last night went on from 9-11.30 and when I went to bed at midnight he was up again and wouldn't resettle so ended up on my bed). All this was happening whilst trying to cook dinner and I just don't know how people manage to have anytime in the evenings if their baby needs them close by when sleeping?
29-04-2016 09:14 #10
Now my older two sleep independently but my evening routine allows for sitting with them.
I've always eaten with the kids around 5. So that's not too much of an issue. Then I bath all the kids together at 6. Dress them together. Then I read both (all three whilst feeding baby if needed) a story by 6.30/45pm. By now the baby is asleep so I put her into bed. If she is awake I just sit in the girls room reading on my Kindle or watch a show on my iPad with headphones on as I cuddle bubby and sit with my 3yo. All are asleep usually by 7/7.30pm. Then I have free time.
I've rarely had to sit with my 3&5yo this past 6mths but there have been occasions where I've had to.
The trick is to think that sitting with your kids is enjoyable. I've always loved that quiet time with them in the evenings. We read a book or two, say prayers, give thanks for our day and as they sleep I can watch their faces relax and go to sleep peacefully. No tears or sadness.
If they wake overnight I just climb into their beds pre dd3. Or they come into my bed now.
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