I have yelled at my ds when he was a baby and said a lot of horrible things including swearing at him to shut up etc. I found it really tough with 20m dd and newborn ds.
Not proud of it but I wasn't coping at the time.
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24-04-2016 15:51 #41
24-04-2016 16:06 #42Senior Member
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- Mar 2016
24-04-2016 16:14 #43
Thank you for admitting this @Jontu.
if I'm angry or frustrated I can snap.
I know I'm not mother of the year but overall I think I'm a good mum.
The wording in the last paragraph in the OP indicates she would "allow" him ie grant permission. If it was the other way it could be implied that the partner is controlling.
I see see nothing wrong with having a few drinks to unwind. I don't understand why that has to stop when you have a child if it's an occasional thing. And with the legal limit 0.05 here, it's not even about getting "blotto" but simply a few drinks.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 24-04-2016 at 16:16.
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24-04-2016 16:20 #44
24-04-2016 16:25 #45
That wouldn't fly with me and there is no way my DH would even go with an 8 week old. My DH goes on boys nights out maybe once or twice a year and does stay overnight mostly, but that's only bc they are in another town. He's not a drinker at all, and ends up having a few lights all night lol He never comes home hung over, or angry that his family is cramping his style. Instead he comes home in a great mood, appreciate that I 'let' him go.
He sounds like a spoiled man child. And in regards to if it was a woman - I would say exactly the same thing. If she was coming home from a night out yelling at her husband and newborn bc she couldn't get inebriated instead of just drunk I'd say she was a spoiled brat that needed to grow up! As to the mental health aspect, I've been criticised more than a few times on here bc I've said I get tired of mental illness being trotted out every time a mother (or father) hurts their child. Also that I believe it not only lessens true PND/mental illness but inadvertently brands all women with PND as those that hurt their kids when most don't.
Last edited by delirium; 24-04-2016 at 16:36.
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24-04-2016 16:33 #46
24-04-2016 17:02 #47
DH does sometimes depending on a few factors. He's wandering into the second half of his thirties now and, being 5 years older than him I know this, this is when just a couple can give you a hangover and make you pretty poor company the next day.
If DH has been watching footy with mates and his team loses - I give him a veeeery wide berth!
DH does not cope with the newborn stage at all. I think he gets some PND. Due to his work I never depended on him to get through evening rush hour so, like RAH, his being out for a boys night never impacts on me much. Now he's working normal hours U actually look forward to an evening in charge of the remote when he goes out.
A few years back though he had a friend who, whenever he spent time with him, he would come home in a grump. This friend didn't like me and I think he was always trying to drive a wedge between us and trying to make DH wish he was living the bachelor life like him. I worked out what was happening and called DH on it every time he got home. Asking if that friend had been there and point out that he was being a douche. Eventually DH became aware of it himself and could see through his mate's manipulation (thankfully ex-mate now!).
He also goes moody when mates are having struggles of their own. So after a boys night of consoling his mate about a marriage breakdown or whatever he goes through a whole lot of emotions and (being raised in the good old boys-dont-cry way) these can come out as anger or withdrawl.
24-04-2016 17:11 #48
moody husband after a boys night.
My hubby went to a mates birthday party the night our DD was born and had quite a few bevvys. My pregnancy had been tough on us both. My mum was looking after DS, he made sure that DD and I were happy and settled in hosp and off he went. He's an amazing dad. There wasn't much he could do for DD and I and he was back up with us in the morning. The OPs hubby sounds like he is being a bit of a douche but I don't think it's fair to say he is a bad dad because he went to spend some time with his mates.
Last edited by Bubintummy; 24-04-2016 at 17:14.
24-04-2016 17:13 #49-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
moody husband after a boys night.
For all we know hubby could being having difficulty coping with parenthood, it was his best mates birthday and he wanted to have 6 beers (which I would consider reasonable) but was only able to stay for 2 hours and have a couple of beers because he couldn't get a hall pass.
It may not be like that. It may. Or the truth may be somewhere in between. Until the OP comes back and un-biasedly clarifies we just don't know.
Last edited by VicPark; 24-04-2016 at 17:20.
24-04-2016 17:29 #50
To flip your argument on it's head VP - if the OP was the one doing this I think you would be giving her tough love saying if she has PND/resentment at being a parent, yelling at her husband baby and getting blind won't help. Or would you make excuses for her?
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