And if you are a defence wife/partner - you don't even get past the "why do you move so much?".
I've had 3 job interviews this week and all have asked why I moved interstate. Mention Dh being defence, eyed glaze over and interview is gone. The only ones that seem to be OK with it are low skilled positions.
In my ten years as a defence partner I've never been promoted or given extra tasks to do. I've seen people who are newer/less trained move faster up the chain even when I was FT. So I gave up and went PT before we had kids.
Hugs OP. It sucks but unfortunately such is life.
Welcome to Australia - lucky country!!!
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16-04-2016 20:25 #11
16-04-2016 20:27 #12
Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?
I don't want to climb the ladder.. Just get a mid management level role less than 5 days a week. Impossible to find apparently.. Makes me so angry that the workplace isn't set up to welcome mums.. I had a good job before I had my baby and now I'm unemployable apparently! All because I was upfront about not being able to do 5 days and taking a lesser role so I could juggle being mum too..
Honesty not always the best policy I guess..
Sorry. Bit of a rant I guess.
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16-04-2016 20:28 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
I am lucky to be in a public sector job, so I haven't experienced such "in your face" discrimination as you have described. I use the term "lucky" loosely because I have experienced discrimination going back to work after maternity leave. I was basically marginalized working part-time. I was working 3 days a week on work that could have been finished in 1. Meetings were booked on my "leave days". Decisions were made without me. I was told that I was not eligible for consideration for a promotion because I was "only" part-time. It was lonely and depressing. And I know it was real because I went back to work full-time because I couldn't handle the pressure and my DH went part-time. He experienced the exact same thing. It's not a gender issue because he has experienced the same treatment. Male or female, in my experience of the public sector, there isn't much support for families. It was like if we couldn't be there for 5 days a week (50 hours plus) then the employer don't want you at all. My DH has coped by studying for a career change, and we're looking forward to a different lifestyle.
16-04-2016 20:31 #14
I'm not strong at all Hun. I suffer from anxiety and have a history of depression but I really believe everything happens for a reason. I'm at work for my family now more than I am to forge a career. My priorities have shifted and thinking of my little man gets me through the day.
Don't get me wrong - the job I'm in isn't perfect. It's hard work, the workload is huge, there's a ton of pressure and the hours are sometimes long. I've had to stay firm right from the beginning and let them know that I need flexible hours. So I get in early, rarely take a lunch break and then I leave an hour early. Even though they advocate flexible working arrangement doesn't mean I still don't get the snide remarks or people making me feel guilty. It's tough but over the years I've gotten tough skin.
My little one started daycare at 10months. It was hard. It still is. He cries every day at drop off. But he is flourishing. He is developing so quickly it amazes me! And I see all the fun things he does at school, much more fun than anything I ever did with him hahahahaha
16-04-2016 20:31 #15
16-04-2016 20:31 #16
Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?
I'd love not to work part time in a job I really dislike (5 days, 30hrs a week) and instead re-find myself and my career but the detrimental affect on my kids of being in before and after care and trying to cram all activities in late at night or weekends is just impractical.
To add insult to injury when I tried to go full time an every so lovely recruitment agent told me I was a liability to companies for having kids.
I don't want high flying corporate career, I'd just love something a job that I enjoyed and I was good at.
Last edited by ICanDream; 16-04-2016 at 20:40.
16-04-2016 20:33 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I was working full time before I went on mat leave. I tried to negotiate part time hours with my employer, but they wouldn't budge, said the position I had needed full time hours. I needed a job, so I bit the bullet and went back full time. DD was in childcare full time from 7.5 months. It was really hard at first for both of us, adjusting to the change. But now it's just part of life.
16-04-2016 20:37 #18
In my experience, it's not the end of my career, but it has definitely left me at a standstill while my kids aren't both at school yet. My great reputation in my current workplace, my passion for my job and track record of good work and good ideas I'm always bringing to the table now, stand for absolutely diddly squat as I only want to work 3 days a week and apparently I can't perform a higher level role on only 3 days.
Unfortunately current attitudes are that businesses seem to only be able to survive with mid to high level staff working 5 days a week and this attitude needs to change. Overall unemployment would be so much lower if businesses were hiring more part time and job share staff. How this change will start and evolve, I'm not so sure, but it needs to change.
16-04-2016 20:38 #19
I'm just embarrassed. I work in a small sector, I knew the guy interviewing me and the boss is a family friend and I still didn't get it. I have taken it on the chin and will definitely be more prepared next time.
I also have huge anxiety and depression issues and this roles left me very anxious. I've shrunk my social circle as can't cope with seeing anyone atm.. Feel like it's coming from all angles.. I hate being unemployed..
My back up plan is to finally start the degree I always intended to do. That will keep my brain going.. And they can't make me redundant from Uni!!
16-04-2016 20:39 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
This is so sad and something I'm struggling with too with a 9 month old DD.
I am back working 1.5 days a week I am lucky that my current work is very flexible but my contract runs out in feb so then I'll be going back to my old old job I've been on leave from for 2 years (a secure government job I took extended leave from).
I plan to work 2 days a week in my government job til DD is 2-3 then 3 days til she starts school. Then I hope to do school hours 5 days a week for a couple of years so I'm not looking at full time hours for a good 7 years I think. I wouldn't say my career is over but it's certainly on a totally grinding halt and I'll be stuck even though it's boring as bat sh!t just for the conditions and $. In the meantime I'm doing a masters part-time to pick up a new qualification.
I think it depends on your field and whether you are private/government and whether you're management. The higher up you are the harder it is. I am as high as I can go for now there's no way I could get a higher role in my field part time. But I'm ok with it I've made peace with things the past few years as even before DD I made a career move to favour lifestyle over ambition for a while. As DD will be our only child I want to limit her child care to 2-3 days a week til she goes to school.
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