+ Reply to Thread
Page 9 of 9 FirstFirst ... 789
Results 81 to 88 of 88
  1. #81
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,351
    Thanks
    558
    Thanked
    730
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    @Ashar, I don't envy your position, but it sounds like you have given this a lot of thought.

    Personally, I'd be planing my exit, but easier said that done.

    Just know, for what is worth, we'll all support you in your decision.

    Hugs.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to ilex For This Useful Post:

    Ashar  (17-04-2016)

  3. #82
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0
    I dont think staying in a relationship because of the overwhelming process of selling house/uncertainties is odd.at all hun. You all.deserve so much more, please give urself the life deserve and take.the steps to seek some professional support

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to geisha88 For This Useful Post:

    Ashar  (17-04-2016)

  5. #83
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    43
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    XH was a pron addict and it had a huge negative impact on our intimacy. In this case, pron was the problem not a symptom.

    When DH worked FIFO 3/1 roster he accessed pron but for his week home we had fantastic intimacy. In this case while not symptomatic of a "problem" it was accessed due to a "challenge" (physically being apart). Neither of us made a big deal of it and it was only mentioned by him because DD wanted to use his iPad so he talked about having to check for anything possibly left on it. For *us*, no big deal.

    So i have personal experience of both sides of the coin (healthy v's unhealthy use of pron).

    FIFO is hard! We didn't have what it takes and called it quits after less than a year. We could see that it would start to cause relationship issues down the track. DH was working with blokes who had been doing it forever and was shocked at how effed up their relationships were. They would all winge about working so their missus could spend it all, drink every night, use the services of 'ladies of the night'... pron was the least of most of those wives' worries. He was shocked and didn't want to see us end up like that just for money!

    I'm assuming if he is on 1/1 you two can make time for counseling. I'd highly recommended this as it sounds like your relationship has fallen into lots of bad habits and you really need to open up and communicate.

    It's very easy for us to read snippets and individual incidents and tsk tsk that he's doing no good but we don't know all the ins and outs. We haven't lived your lives to know how your relationship has gotten to this point. If you both want to work at fixing it, or even just working out that the problems are too big to fix and it's time to walk away (as happened with XH and I) relationship counseling should be considered essential IMO, based on my experience of it.
    Yes I have definitely heard a lot of things that can go on on site & while travelling that would potentially ruin relationships if found out about. As for the money side it's a slippery slope especially with the mining boom, the more you get the more you spend & become dependent on it.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Ashar For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (18-04-2016)

  7. #84
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    43
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    Leaving a relationship, with two young kids and multiple shared debts is no easy task. It's so much easier to advise someone to just leave than to actually do it. Aside from the overwhelming practical and financial issues you also need to come to terms with the loss of the hopes and dreams you had for this relationship. My point is simply that we all do what we can 'when' we are able to.

    Do you believe that you and your dh 'could' work through this stuff? Do you want to? Does he want to?

    If not...then, make the changes at your own pace.
    I believe we "could" work through things & I do still love him but I feel there's too much resentment there on both sides. If we were to stay together now something else would probably just come up in 6 or 12 months time & I'd think why didn't I just leave last time, that seems to be what's happening. Plus we really don't have much in common anymore & I lives seem to be going in different directions. I don't think he wants to either, he usually phones me every night & I haven't heard from him this week, but I won't be rushing to leave. I've been looking at the local rental market & there's not much around.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Ashar For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (18-04-2016)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Thread on mother/daughter relationships?
    By Happy Camper in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-08-2015, 18:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Impressionable KidsImpressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›