To me, the problem isn't porn (I watch it too).
The problem is the lack of intimacy and respect in the relationship- on both sides.
He is FIFO and you have kids so he should spend the majority (not all as he is entitled to time 'off') of his home time with his family.
You should not be going through his phone- it's private property, whivh means something even in a marriage.
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16-04-2016 15:40 #41
16-04-2016 15:48 #42
16-04-2016 15:54 #43
16-04-2016 15:58 #44
16-04-2016 16:16 #45
Re: the phone, I'm sorry but if you're in a committed relationship there should be nothing on your phone to hide. If you or your partner is hiding sh&t then there is a problem.
My rule is, do nothing I wouldn't do in front of DH or care if he saw / read.
16-04-2016 16:32 #46
I don't like it. I know that's not a popular opinion these days as our society is saturated with it, but I hate it for a number of reasons. Many of which have already been mentioned.
I read some research recently where they showed people p.orn (women and men), and then showed them non p.orn pictures of women and both the men and women had more hostile reactions to the women after viewing p.orn. The kind of p.orn that's commonly consumed contributes to misogyny. Anyway, I'll leave it there as I can get a bit rant-y about this subject. (sorry).
Its understandable that you're upset. And you don't have to be okay with p/orn in your relationship, especially if its having an impact on your intimacy.
Big hugs, what a shock for you, and extra difficult if he's FIFO so you can't just sit down and talk it through. Good luck.
16-04-2016 16:55 #47
Granted, I agree with others that whether you find anything, the relationship is in serious trouble. Either the lack of trust is warranted and the marriage is on the rocks. Or it is all in your head and therefore you have huge insecurity and trust issues, meaning that the marriage is on the rocks. I just don't think it's fair to tell the OP that bc she looked at his phone she is somehow the one in the wrong here bc others wouldn't have done so. I don't think there is a right answer here.
16-04-2016 17:38 #48
16-04-2016 17:41 #49
16-04-2016 17:56 #50
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