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  1. #1311
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    @Bongley I also really love your honesty about your feelings as the pregnancy is progressing as I think its important to hear for all of us contemplating or going down that path. Sorry I didn't even respond to your stuff (too wrapped up in my own issues!!). Ive been taking a bit more notice of kids and their mothers lately and seeing if they look alike, and you realise that so many don't. The important stuff is how you can influence your child through your relationships with each other and the things you do with them, and teach them, the personality traits and looks are something you cant have any influence over even with your own eggs.

  2. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tuxcat For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (30-04-2016),Blossom74  (01-05-2016),Bongley  (30-04-2016),Caesardust  (30-04-2016),faithandhopellove  (30-04-2016),winsor  (30-04-2016)

  3. #1312
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    that's true tuxcat. the first time I looked at the DE sites in SA when initially considering our options I got upset that none looked like me - apart from one who looked like my sister & niece (but she smoked). but then I remembered that I look like my Dad, nothing like Mum. so it's not the important thing (& was prob me being selfish/my hangups - I've never even liked my looks that much whilst growing up so not looking like me is prob a bonus anyway)

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (30-04-2016),Blossom74  (01-05-2016),Bongley  (30-04-2016),Caesardust  (30-04-2016),faithandhopellove  (30-04-2016),tuxcat  (30-04-2016)

  5. #1313
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxwellsmum View Post
    RE donor and looks - All I have to do is look at my own family. None of us look alike. My mum is short and thin I am tall and solid like my dad. My donor looks nothing like me but a lot like my cousin. I didn't select based on any looks just health and personality and proven. One big thing that swayed me was my donor is a huge animal lover she actually volunteers at her local shelter. I too am a huge animal lover.
    @Bongley I liked that blog thanks for sharing.
    Thats great. The things I love about our PD are that she's someone we would be friends with if we had met in life. I guess the way she views the world and her interests etc are in line with mine so I feel like thats so amazing! DH really likes her too. Looks wise we have a similar stature, height and build wise but we certainly weren't looking for a type. I am just so wrapt that we found someone who we really gel with in so many ways. Hence why I don't want to lose her!!!
    @winsor its funny how theres things we don't like about our own looks yet its one of the first things you think of when you aren't going to use your own eggs! At the end of the day that child will be all the things you pour into it and thats the case however they've come into the world

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  7. #1314
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    yes, the more I've been thinking about it all the more I realise that the things I want to pass on aren't genetic so hopefully we get the chance to bring up the child and teach them things and make them curious of the world and love learning & be a good person

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    amie999  (30-04-2016),BlondeinBrisvegas  (30-04-2016),Blossom74  (01-05-2016),Bongley  (30-04-2016),Caesardust  (30-04-2016),Countrygirl72  (30-04-2016),faithandhopellove  (30-04-2016),Gagingi  (30-04-2016),Maxwellsmum  (30-04-2016),tuxcat  (30-04-2016)

  9. #1315
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    sounds like a perfect match tuxcat. good luck! (with this cycle too of course)

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  11. #1316
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie74 View Post
    Ooh we'll be cycle buddies then! We've also got 1 X 5day PGD tested normal embie on ice plus another 1 X 5 day hatching blast frozen that couldn't be tested! And we're doing an FET in August! Are you transferring 1 or both? Just 1 for us..
    Whoo hoo how exciting I'll have a cycle buddy If I'm fortunate enough to get another 5day PGD tested normal when I cycle in May I'll transfer both & leave the untested on ice, if all doesn't go to plan, I'll most likely transfer the tested & untested embies, depending on what my FS recommends . I might even try & do another cycle before I turn 40 if my cycle in May doesn't go to plan
    Last edited by skye76; 30-04-2016 at 19:36.

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  13. #1317
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    @skye76 Have heard/read the same as what the other Girls have said.

    The first couple of days it's the egg then at about the 4 cell stage, the paternal genomes kick in but Wazza is also right as the egg is still a factor as well. Anyhoo..Have found this study about Paternal Influence of Sperm DNA Integrity on Early Embryonic Development.

    Will copy and paste a little bit of it for you to read now and post the link.

    There is much debate in the literature as to whether early embryo development is influenced exclusively by the maternal factors (Braude et al., 1988) or whether there are also paternal controls at this early stage (Tesarik et al., 2004; Baltaci et al., 2006). It is well documented that the first two embryonic cell divisions are primarily controlled by the maternal genes (Braude et al., 1988) and paternal effects commence at the 4-cell stage. Further, the detrimental effects of sperm DNA damage are more prominent during the later stages of embryo development (Dar et al., 2013). The described paternal effects on pre- and post-implantation embryos include slower embryo cleavage, poor morphology, lower blastocyst formation and lower implantation rates (Parinaud et al., 1993; Janny and Menezo, 1994). However, major discrepancies exist within the published data regarding the developmental timing and the extent of paternal effects on embryo quality.

    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/834158
    Thanks BIB I can't seem to access the link do I need to register on that website as I can't access without a login & p/w am I doing something wrong
    Last edited by skye76; 30-04-2016 at 19:57.

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  15. #1318
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithandhopellove View Post
    @skye76 I heard it was all maternal until day 3 then a combination of both from there.
    On my last cycle it was one of the things we changed. DH had frozen sperm (pre chemo) that we used on previous cycles but he was fairly unwell when it was collected. Last cycle we tried fresh as DH had finished chemo 18 months before and was fully recovered. We went from 0 to 1 on average making it to blast in 5 cycles to 2 plus an advanced Morula on the last cycle. Could be coincidence but then again maybe not.
    Thanks FH&L for sharing your story:thumbup:

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  17. #1319
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    [QUOTE=Charlie74;8467767] @skye76, I actually thought it was the opposite, that until day 3 the embryo is getting all its energy from the egg, and after that the sperm kicks in and that can be when you have problems...

    I have no idea where I got that from.. I must've read it somewhere?? So no clue as to whether it's true or not!
    @Caesardust enjoy the lavender.. What a gorgeous way to unwind! Ur DP is a sweetie!
    @infinity888.. I'm at work so have to keep it together.. But if I was at home I'd be in tears right now after reading ur post. I feel such an immense sadness, for you, for everyone one of us in here that might be in ur position one day saying 'enough'. It's really so crap And unfair that we can try sooooo hard & still not get the prize at the end. Love to you. I hope you can find some peace on whatever road you now choose to travel
    Quote Originally Posted by Gagingi View Post
    Yes I've heard the same as Charlie, @skye76. That is why we started doing PICSI/HA-ICSI (with improved day 5 results). We talked to Wazza about it as well and he said yes it can be sperm, but egg is still a factor.
    Thanks ladies I feel really bad for my dh as I was starting to blame him for our poor fertilization results (the last 2 cycles). I feel really ashamed for blaming him, I was in a really bad headspace at the time & clutching at straws. I'm so glad I asked, tx to all the other lovely ladies that responded :thumbup:
    Last edited by skye76; 01-05-2016 at 10:56.

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  19. #1320
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    Quote Originally Posted by skye76 View Post
    Thanks BIB I can't seem to access the link do I need to register on that website as I can't access without a login & p/w am I doing something wrong

    No, it's stuffing me around too when I try to click on it. Anyhoo..the other way round it is to copy and paste this heading......."Paternal Influence of Sperm DNA Integrity on Early Embryonic Development" into Google and it will come up underneath, then if you click on it, it will take you to the article

    I don't know why it won't let you view it from the link??

  20. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BlondeinBrisvegas For This Useful Post:

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