What am I doing wrong?
My DS is 3 1/2. He is a total cling-on. He's not happy unless he's in physical contact with me. He is a terrible eater and sleeper. He's cranky, grumpy and antisocial. I've taken him to doctors, psychologists and paediatricians. They've all said he's sensitive with anxiety but otherwise normal. But how normal is it to not be hungry? Several times I've tried waiting for him to ask for food and drink. He can go for 10 hours before asking for a drink. And then still rejects food unless it's something familiar from his very limited diet.
Play dates are painful. He refuses to share toys and screams, often becoming violent. Then throws himself bodily on me - this is after spending a day or so begging for his friends. He refuses to even look at his father (we try to have at least 2 face-to-face visits a week). He cries and screams at every daycare drop off - 4 times a week. His teachers say he has improved but I'm not seeing it.
I'd like to think some of this is reaction to me leaving his father but realistically DS has never been a happy child/baby. Smiles were rare when he was an infant.
Anyone else out there have a grumpy spirited child? If so how do you cope? Do they improve or am I going to an alcoholic before he gets to school age? ( trying for humour there, but I am really struggling - my mother thinks there must be something wrong with DS and blames my ex for "bad blood". I'm even to the point where I'm starting to believe this)
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13-04-2016 17:30 #1
13-04-2016 17:39 #2
Oh Waggers...we've talked several times over the years.
I have spirited 3 and 1/2 year old but I know the cause of her issues with eating/sleeping/behaviour.
Have any of those doctors etc offered advice? One thing that makes a huge difference for my DD is routine and visuals to accompany that. So I took photos (or you can do generic pictures) of all her daily activities. I blu tac these up. And I remind her about what we're doing.
It really helps. If you googke visual timeline or diary you will find tons of ideas.
That might be one way to help.
Am I right in thinking you're on the Gold Coast? I think we're in same postcode actually! ! There's a great behaviour therapist who does home visits and I really recommend her. She may be able to help too. Our paediatrician recommended her.
With DD and her favourite toys I put them away for playdates. Because she gets upset etc. And I put out water play and playdough etc. I don't leave out her favourite dolls etc.
Sorry I'm giving advice and you maybe just need someone to listen too! Sending hugs. It's very exhausting. It's not bad blood. Do not believe that negativity.
Can you go back to paed and say 'hey nothing is changing and I need more help and advice?'
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13-04-2016 17:55 #3
Hi Tamtam - good to see you here again
Visual (or any) diaries are difficult as DS just focuses on the negatives (like daycare, bath time, bed time etc) and works himself into hysterics. I think this kid could suck the joy out of anything! He even hates Christmas as Santa is too scary! He was ahead of the average at 2 years of age but I now feel that he's really behind. He's not toilet trained - he can use the toilet but prefers to wet his pants. He can dress himself but usually won't. He is bl@@dy stubborn! And just sooo needy and dependant.
I really want to speak to a councillor/psychologist or doctor again but I just have no free time. I'm either at work or caring for DS. There is literally no one who can take him for any time. If I get sick we're going to be up the proverbial creek. I'm just frustrated and in need of a vent. This motherhood thing really knows how to stick it in. It's ironic as my ex loves children and in general they love him back. I'm the one that most kids shy away from and I've never been a kiddie person. Yet DS is such a mummy's boy and doesn't want to be anywhere near the ex! I think I'll have a small glass of wine now.....
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