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  1. #1
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    Default Kinda serious WWYD - info from children

    So I have a kind of serious WWYD question. Not sure what to do, looking for opinions.

    My niece (7YO) and nephew (5YO) have come to spend a few nights with me and my boys for school holidays. Their mum and dad stayed at home to look after newborn twins (eek!) Over dinner last night DH and I were teasing each other about snoring. My niece cheerfully joined in saying her mum (my SIL) snores so badly her dad sleeps in my nephew's bed. She said "Dad can't stand the snoring and the whinging". I know that SIL and her DH are having a tough time with the stress of looking after twins. Who wouldn't?! We used to be quite close but we're not ATM. I relayed the story to my MIL (SIL's mum) who confirmed that SIL and her DH are barely speaking.

    So WWYD? Try to reach out to SIL knowing she's not told me about her marriage issues for a reason, or leave it as I'm not really going to be able to do much more than listen and support her? We've not really spoken for months. Part of me just wants to ignore it. I can't really help. But I'm sure my MIL will mention the conversation to my SIL, so she'll know that I know by now. Would it be worse that I don't say anything to her now? Hmmmm...

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    I wouldn't mention that I knew anything was wrong.

    I would try to reconnect with her, organise to meet her for coffee or invite her over or show up on her doorstep with flowers and a cake. Just talk, connect with her and let her know she has your support. If she wants to tell you about what's going on with her, she can. If not, at least she'll know she can talk to you if she needs.

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  4. #3
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    It's sweet that you want to be there, but I wouldn't say anything. Not only will it cause a possible rift, both with SIL and your MIL bc MIL may be in trouble with SIL for telling you. But it may embarrass her.

    I would do what preggasaurus suggested. Reconnect with her, invite her for coffee, or a play at the park with the kids.

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    First of all I would ask MIL not to tell anyone. To be honest - you shouldn't have told her. Last thing the parents of newborn twins need is to have people gossiping about them.

    I wouldn't tell your SIL. Just make sure you and your DH continue to offer support in a general sense.

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  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    ...

    I would try to reconnect with her, organise to meet her for coffee or invite her over or show up on her doorstep with flowers and a cake. Just talk, connect with her and let her know she has your support. If she wants to tell you about what's going on with her, she can. If not, at least she'll know she can talk to you if she needs.
    This sounds like a lovely non-confrontational way of reaching out to my SIL. I wish I could do this. Unfortunately we live interstate so a "just dropping in to see you" check in visit to her isn't possible.

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    It's great that you are having the kids for a few days to let SIL focus on the twins. Instead of saying you know about their marital issues perhaps offer to help out around the house. Check in to see if she needs some washing done, cook meals, even hold the twins. If you form a better bond again, she may lean on you for advice even.

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    Honestly? Stay out of it- it really is none of your business. (I don't mean for that to sound harsh!)

    Many relationships have rough trots, I can only imagine the stress of newborn twins! If she hasn't confided in you, and you aren't that close- physically or emotionally- then I would assume she doesn't want you to know.

    Shame on MIL for gossiping about their problems.

    It was lovely of you to mind their kids- that's more than enough right now whilst they work it out.

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    I wouldnt mention anything. But try to reconnect and support your sil while she is adjusting to life with twins


 

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