I really hope this is a troll. If it's not, then please let her father be a single parent and pay child support. You're not being taken advantage of - you helped make this child, you are legally required to support her financially. Don't take her from a father who loves her and emotionally torture her just to reduce your child support.
If you do want to bond - you'll have to work at it. Change your inner talk, change your attitude and do positive things together to build up shared fun experiences.
Results 21 to 30 of 30
11-04-2016 17:53 #21
11-04-2016 17:55 #22
11-04-2016 17:56 #23
Alrighty lets cool the jets...
Obviously OP wants to improve the relationship/ outlook she has of her child or she wouldn't be asking for help on a forum.
Also I am thinking there's some cultural differences at play, I'm Italian and a woman who leaves a child to be brought up even by relatives would be crucified however there are many other cultures where this is common practice in order for the whole family to advance in the world.
OP I do think by your wording there's a lot of underlying issue and I think counseling would help.
I also urge you to try and see things from your child's perspective, I think you're trying not to show her that side of yourself (you say you do all the mother things) BUT kids pick up on things, she will one day ask why she lives with her dad, why she was left with her grandparents for years and why you only see her a few days a month... I'm telling you this because I hope you'll have an answer for her... So that she won't resent you but instead understand where you're coming from
11-04-2016 18:11 #24
If you want to develop a bond with your daughter, seek counselling to work through your issues regarding your mother and your ex. You've said she's a nice kid. Talk to her. Find out what she likes, do those things with her. Do something with her that you loved as a child, and tell her about your experiences. Become emotionally involved in her life. She doesn't deserve your animosity or indifference though. You don't necessarily need to do something big and expensive. Time will be what helps. If you aren't going to give this your all, take her best interests into consideration - let her live with your ex/ILs, and don't continue down a path that will result in heartache for her.
11-04-2016 18:17 #25
11-04-2016 18:20 #26
I never call troll, I usually report and say nothing but I get the feeling this is some dude trying to prove a point that men are torn apart for being deadbeats but a woman who is a deadbeat parent will receive nothing but support. If that's the case OP, it seems your little experiment failed
On the off chance this is real, I really feel sorry for you, and your poor daughter. Not even bc you have no bond, or that you didn't want her. But you take her so you reduce your CS? And he isn't ripping the system, she is 5 therefore he would be applicable for payments. You say you were forced to have the baby but why get pregnant to begin with if you were so sure you wanted to be childless?
I always try to have some level of empathy and understanding for posters, but wowsers. Either way this is so horrible. Either you are trolling, or it's true, which is way more sad.
Sorry mods, I just can't muster any kind words here. I know you guys are going to be busy with this thread but I just can't contain my thoughts on this one, and I've been way kinder than what's in my head right now....
11-04-2016 18:42 #27
Wowsers! I really hope delirium is right and this troll was trying to prove a point and failed. If it's the real deal.. Please get help. That poor little girl.
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11-04-2016 18:44 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I think the best advice I can give you is to pay the full child support and let her live full time with her father who I hope loves her and wants to be with her when you clearly do not.
Poor kid. She had NO choice in any of this. If you really didn't want a child you should've kept your pants on or gone to extensive measures for protection. Were you using condoms?
At the end of the day whether you felt forced to or not it was still your choice to have her. The only person who had no choice in any of this is your daughter.
11-04-2016 18:55 #29
Let's pretend this is real. You have 2 choices either see a psychologist to work throught your anger and pain or just leave your child alone. You seriously want to screw an innocent kid over just because you want more spending money. Let it go and pay the money, you can't take it to the grave with you.
The dog and cat bit is funny tho...like wtf has that got to do with anything. "I don't want my kid but I love cats". Ummmmmm....ok.
11-04-2016 19:02 #30
Closed pending Mod discussion
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