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  1. #11
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    Default Meant to be

    Having done IVF, no i normally wouldn't.

    However my DS was a freak natural conception after years of no contraception and after 3 early IVF losses in 7 months. I was scheduled for an endometrial biopsy and it was only by an inkling i had that i did a pee stick the night before the biopsy at 9dpo and the faintest of faint lines came up. Had I not tested, I would have done the biopsy in the morning and lost him, my one natural miracle.

    So in his case, I do feel he was meant to be, against all odds.
    Last edited by Clementine Grace; 10-04-2016 at 19:40.

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  3. #12
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    For those that believe it's just how it's meant to be, does that apply to other areas of life?

    As in if someone gets terminal cancer, is that just how it's supposed to be?

    Not being nasty or anything but I find it incredibly hard to apply the "meant to be" to all areas as I saw a childhood friend suffer a short life of cancer.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamasupial View Post
    For those that believe it's just how it's meant to be, does that apply to other areas of life?

    As in if someone gets terminal cancer, is that just how it's supposed to be?

    Not being nasty or anything but I find it incredibly hard to apply the "meant to be" to all areas as I saw a childhood friend suffer a short life of cancer.
    yes I do believe it applies to all areas of life. I agree, it's unfair. life is not fair though.

    when it comes to kids getting sick, I believe that's just sad and horrible. but it's also just part of life and sh.t things happen don't they? not trivializing it either, but it's a fact. some kids get sick, very sick. it's probably the most unfair thing ever on earth (next to miscarriage and still birth).

    but keeping the conversation to adults only, I do believe in meant to be. I believe life sends us lessons to be learned in the form of difficult times/challenges, it's up to us how we handle them. if we ignore, then we tend to find the lesson keeps popping up until we've learned what we need to do.

    I therefore try not to view sh.t times as sh.t times and misfortune, rather try and work through it and question what the lesson here could be and what's the universe trying to tell me here.

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    yes I do believe it applies to all areas of life. I agree, it's unfair. life is not fair though.

    when it comes to kids getting sick, I believe that's just sad and horrible. but it's also just part of life and sh.t things happen don't they? not trivializing it either, but it's a fact. some kids get sick, very sick. it's probably the most unfair thing ever on earth (next to miscarriage and still birth).

    but keeping the conversation to adults only, I do believe in meant to be. I believe life sends us lessons to be learned in the form of difficult times/challenges, it's up to us how we handle them. if we ignore, then we tend to find the lesson keeps popping up until we've learned what we need to do.

    I therefore try not to view sh.t times as sh.t times and misfortune, rather try and work through it and question what the lesson here could be and what's the universe trying to tell me here.
    So what lesson should we learn from stillbirth?

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    So what lesson should we learn from stillbirth?
    none. it's one of the sh.ttest and unfair things in life. there is no lesson with stillbirth.

  8. #16
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    After 4 years of ttc & going through IVF nope! Sorry to those who do but while we were ttc I heard so many times 'maybe you're not meant to have children'....how terrible is that to be told when it's so important to you?

    When going through Ivf I also had someone say that if a baby is meant to be then it will be given to us naturally & we shouldn't need ivf....wtf? Well with all the issues I had that was pretty much next to impossible.

    Also going through miscarriages again I had heard 'maybe it's meant to be'. Well I find it hard to believe that I'm not meant to have a baby & someone else is.

    Sorry for the long reply but we needed IVF to get pregnant & I get upset when I hear some people say that people shouldn't do ivf etc because if it's meant to be it will happen without it. Without ivf we never would have a baby & it hurts to think that some people believe my baby shouldn't be...sorry I hope that makes sense!

    Although I don't believe in 'meant to be' I completely believe in dd was worth the wait

    Although I'm not a huge believer either in everything happening for a reason I just think that sometimes crap things happen which no one has control over & some peoples journeys are harder than others.

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  10. #17
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    I don't know to be honest. It probably changes depending on the amount of stress in under.

    When things are rough for me I tend to think we only have the illusion of control. In a way this helps me cope with what is happening around me. I can let go of trying to change things I cannot change and just deal with it.

    When life is going well I like to think I'm in charge 😄

  11. #18
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    . Edited. Too personal
    Last edited by Blossom74; 22-04-2016 at 14:53.

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  13. #19
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    Nope. I don't believe my daughter was 'meant to be' strangled to death in my womb the week before she was due. She was supposed to be here growing up with her doting big brother, soon to be a big sister herself.

    I find the idea quite offensive.

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  15. #20
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    No I don't believe anything is meant to be. I don't believe that children born to drug addicts are "meant to be" meant to suffer and be abused or meant to be taken away. Or children born in war torn countries who are blown up or starve to death, I don't think that was "meant to be".
    I think if you can't have children that's just s.hitty thing you have to deal with and maybe if you have enough money you can get medical help/buy a uterus to have a child. I know this point of view isn't popular but it's what I think. I won't allow myself in a position of privilege to belive that suffering of other humans was meant to be.

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