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  1. #1
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    Default Advice please- 3yo not settling into daycare

    I started dd1 (3) one day a week in daycare to give me a break and time alone with bubs 6 weeks ago. She has always been looked after by me or mum when I'm at work.
    She is becoming increasingly resistant to going. She used to be excited by the idea but now is not. When I mentioned it was daycare day today she burst into tears and begged to stay with me. I'm struggling to get her ready.
    She's still not interacting with other kids, preferring the company of adults. She has an ok time there but refuses to eats their food. It takes her approx 30 minutes to stop crying at drop off, clinging to her blankie all day.
    Adding an extra day is not possible at the moment as there isn't a space.

    I'm unsure what to do. I really like the break- I look forward to it- but it isn't essential and I'm feeling awful.

    I also worry about her developing social skills.

    Help please.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 08-04-2016 at 08:24.

  2. #2
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    What I am going to say probably won't help that much. My eldest probably would have found it very difficult to feel comfortable at daycare with any less than 2 days (3 being ideal). It's hard for them to make friends and get used to carers and routines with 1 day.

    Not sure what you can do apart from making sure your hold knows which day is daycare day (a chart of days of the week?), keeping the days short, taking something from home to daycare and crossing fingers for an extra day.

    Good luck

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)

  4. #3
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    How long has she been going? Sometimes it can take quite awhile unfortunately for them to settle, especially if they are older. My DS took awhile.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)

  6. #4
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    Also unhelpful, I agree one day a week isn't enough to make them comfortable.

    My nephew went full time though and cried every day at drop off for three years.

    One thing you could try is bribery. Day care day gets a toy or kinder surprise or something. Maybe a play in the park afterwards? Make it something to look forward to. She gets to pick what you have for dinner?

    I think it's important to continue, age will be in kinder soon and needs to learn social skills and how to be around other kids.

    Also maybe ask some other dat care mums for one on one play dates so she has a chance to make some friends?

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)

  8. #5
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    I've just told her she will get a kinder surprise today when she gets home lol. That still didn't make her happy
    She's still in her pjs and eating breakfast super slow and I'm trying hard not to get frustrated with the delaying tactics.

    I agree it's important so I really don't want to admit defeat and pull her out as it's something she has to learn to deal with eventually.

    It's only been 6 weeks so early days but my heart is breaking.

    They are really nice friendly kids I know most of their names and the carers have tried to buddy her up but dd1 is not interested.

    I'll have a chat to the director today again about dd1 struggling and if a second day will help when and if one comes up.

    I'm dreading drop off (if I can get her in the car!)

  9. #6
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    Don't feel bad about the kinder surprise at all. My DS had a hard time at around 3 and he'd been there since he was 7 months. I agree with @VicPark I find 2-3 days much better. But some other things which helped us were starting a visual schedule - just each day of the week and symbols. So, Tuesday was a blue triangle which meant daycare and we'd talk about the schedule all the time eg; what's on tomorrow? What day is it today? What should we get ready tonight?

    I also let DS take things to show his teacher - limited of course but if helped with drop off, including s photo of DD. I also talked about him showing DD how we say goodbye.

    On pick up I'd ask the teacher what went well and then reward him with something like a kinder surprise and made a big deal if telling Dad, we celebrated him being a big boy.

    It took about 2 weeks and we got through it, she probably just needs a bit more reassurance and yeah reward too. It's a developmental step too, saying goodbye at 3 is harder than 1 or 18 months, they're just more socially aware.

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  11. #7
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    For this morning maybe just give her a toy to take with her, just reward anything to get her there and then set out a plan for pick up 😄

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)

  13. #8
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    Well Fridays are now Funday Fridays. Preschool, kinder surprise, painting nails and mac n cheese for dinner. And lots and lots of hugs. She also picked the most impractical shoes to show off to the carers at daycare.

    Drop off went ok after that. Still very teary and sat quietly hugging her blankie but had a quiet acceptance that she was staying.

    Thanks for the tips xxx

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  15. #9
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    I found DS (who is younger than your DD) started getting super upset when I was dropping him off at childcare. And he had been there since he was 1! It would be a combination of age, and they always seem to have issues coping a few weeks after starting. It should get better.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)

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    It's very difficult to settle in when only going one day.

    Sorry, I know that doesn't help

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-04-2016)


 

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