DD1 and DS are 25 months apart. I really struggled when they were 3 and 1. I questioned why I wanted such a short age gap. Both in Nappies, both very dependent on me etc. They got along great once they hit 4 and 2, but life was still very full on.
DS and DD2 are 47 months (just short of 4 years) apart. I love it! The gap has been a blessing. DD2 has been the only one in nappies, I have been able to focus solely on her as her older siblings have been more independent. When she was 20 months old DS started school, so she has had me to herself for 4 months which has been great for our relationship. Her older siblings are also able to help out a bit more around the house as well so its not so overwhelming.
I am about to have a (surprise) gap of 31 months between DD2 and #4. I'm hoping the gap will be just as rewarding as our previous one.
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08-04-2016 11:41 #21
08-04-2016 11:45 #22
Haven't experienced it yet like I said, but here are my pros for a 3 year gap in our situation.
- DS will be in preschool 2 days a week so I can have time with Bub one on one.
- Everyday DS is better at following instructions including "wait five minutes" etc and communicating what he wants which will help. He can also fetch himself fruit and water.
- I'll have had 3 beautiful years with DS alone which I've loved every minute of.
- DS can get out of the car and wait by the side of the car without dashing into oncoming traffic.
- DS independently walks wherever we go - so no need for a double pram, can just wear Bub or push her in a pram while he walks with me.
DS dropped his nap by 2, so that isn't a factor here but he can sit and watch most of a movie and I'm sure by the time he is 3 he will be able to watch a whole one, which will make resting while baby sleeps a little easier.
DS is still in nappies so that's no bother to me, he will TT over summer next year so regressing because of baby arriving won't be an issue.
08-04-2016 11:50 #23
08-04-2016 11:57 #24Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
There's just under 4 years between my first and third...and granted the adjustment to a sibling had already happened when no. 2 came along but it was a great age gap! No jealousy at all, independent (can get dressed on their own etc), my first was an absolutely horrible 2 year old, and so much easier as a 3 year old. They can help more with the baby (play etc. Without having to worry about what they might do), and yes they don't nap at that age, but they can sit and watch a movie while you doze on the couch, and they're less likely to tag team you with wake-ups of a night.
My first and third are extremely close, despite the age difference. My oldest just has so much patience, and they enjoy doing things with each other. My oldest is a tween, so they've remained close throughout the changes. I do wonder if the teenage years will change things, but those two together have been blissful so far.
I have a friend who absolutely hates her 4 year age gap, though...so I suspect it's very individual.
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08-04-2016 12:16 #25
I have a 3.5 year gap. This was not what we had hoped for but DD took 18 months of ttc so it's what happened. It was the best thing for our family!! I love the gap!
DS is at an age where he understands the baby, he is genuinely so thrilled to have her in our family and he helped me a lot in the early days from getting nappies to helping make her laugh. He also understands that she's "a baby" and gets that he needs to give her space or be more careful near her.
Cons might be that we've spread out the baby and toddler years more than we'd planned initially but a big pro is that it will be s shorter time of paying for 2 at daycare as DS will be at school. I'm not worried about their relationship ebbing and flowing, I think that will happen no matter the gap.
08-04-2016 13:32 #26
I have a 4.5 yr gap between my first two, which I loved. Was a fantastic gap! And despite what many question, they are very, very close. They adore each other and play beautifully, and there is no competitiveness between them.
I have a 20 month gap between 2 and 3, which I'm not enjoying as much. Hopefully the benefits of this gap will start to show more as they get older.
08-04-2016 13:38 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
- Adelaide, SA
We'll have a 2yr 10m age gap. It's the same age gap between my husband and his brother. They are best friends. My pros are that I get almost 3 years to be a mum to just DS. He will be much more self sufficient by the birth. Cons I think is all in my mind. I wanted them to be close so they'd play together. You can't predict that regardless of age.
08-04-2016 14:13 #28
I'm in between this thread and the other with a 2.5yr gap exactly.
We had hoped for a smaller gap however another loss and what we initially hoped would be a 2yr gap suddenly grew BUT In hindsight, I am so very glad for the extra few months gap between dd & ds
Dd was a little late with talking but by 2.5yrs she could communicate sooo much better.
She was completely tt (day and night) which meant only 1 in nappies. This was a big yay for me!
I knew I could set her up with an activity and it would hold her attention at least whilst I fed or put ds to sleep.
She adjusted to a sibling so well and now at 4yrs and 18mths, they play so well together. She started kindy this year pt so I now have some quality time to dedicate to ds for all the activities I was able to do with dd as an only child.
I dearly would love 1 more (if I can convince dh) and would be happy with another age gap around the same
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08-04-2016 14:46 #29
Subbing as I'll have a 3yr gap between #2 & #3
08-04-2016 15:33 #30
Well, I don't have kids of my own yet but there is a 3.5 year age gap between my brother and I (I am older). We were exceptionally close growing up and have been our whole lives. The cousin I was always closest to and is still my best friend to this day, is 3.5 years younger than me.
My Mum says she thought the 3.5 year age gap was absolutely perfect and we always played together. Apparently my brother hero worshiped me I'd like to think he still does, but I might be reaching there
I agree that it depends on personality. I used to think a one year age gap was the absolute worst, because every single sibling pair I knew with this gap literally couldn't stand each other and were not close even after they grew up. Then I met some who were. I've known kids with a two year age gap who wanted nothing to do with each other, and some who adored each other.
From a "difficulty for the parent" view, I couldn't say obviously
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