One other con with my 2.9 year gap is that I haven't had my body for me since April 2012. Pregnancy, breast feeding dd1 till she was 2 and falling pregnant immediately and now breast feeding again for hopefully 2 years means a long time without a break of sharing my body with another human being. I really miss my normal clothes and being able to drink properly - I'd be the worlds biggest lightweight!
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08-04-2016 06:41 #11
08-04-2016 06:54 #12
Following. We have 4.5 yr age gap - not planned that way (we would have preferred between 2-3 yrs but due to circumstances beyond our control it was much longer). However I can already see some benefits.
My pregnancy was completely unaffected - I was able to spend heaps of time on my own doing yoga, long walks, meditation, massages - basically treat it like my first pregnancy (ds1 was at kindy).
I had heaps of quality one on one time with DS1 over the years. We had 3 overseas trips before he turned 3.
DS1 is old enough to understand what is going on with the arrival of a sibling. After an initial adjustment period, he has been a great help and becoming much more independent, so it's been good for him too.
I have been able to fully embrace the newborn stage with DS2 with DS1 at kindy - and next year school.
Also practically I haven't had to buy a double pram (DS1 was out of it by 3 yrs, prefers bike or scooter or just walks), haven't had to buy extra car seats (DS1 is in a booster now).
It's early days so will be interesting to see how it all unfolds. My brother and I had a similar age gap and I know my mum found it really easy. We played together a lot as kids until I became a teen and was no longer interested.
08-04-2016 06:59 #13
Almost 3 year age gap here. By that age, we had moved past the baby and toddler stages and dd1 was able to fully grasp things, so there was a good level of understanding about having to wait, be gentle etc.
In terms of playing together, dd1 loved sitting and playing with dd2 as a baby. Once dd2 started crawling around and getting in to things, dd1 didn't play with her as much, but was old enough to happily play independently. Around 2, dd2 started actually playing, rather than destructing things, so dd1 is back to playing with her a lot more. She also has the patience to teach her things.
I can't think of any cons that wouldn't be applicable for the first child adjusting to a sibling at any age gap. Comparing to those I know with a smaller gap, I'm happy with how it panned out for us.
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08-04-2016 07:55 #14
08-04-2016 08:18 #15
08-04-2016 08:27 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
I did read an article within the last few weeks however (can't for the life of me find it) advocating for 3+year gap between children. Apparently maternal & foetal outcomes are greater when there is greater than 24months gap between pregnancies.
On a side note, my older sisters are 'Irish twins' born 11 months apart, they have NEVER saw eye to eye and sadly now in their forties cannot be in same room as each other. I came along 4 years after the middle sis & get along with both.
I hope we can achieve another pregnancy & aim for a 3 year gap. DS is 22m, very smart, extremely articulate for his young age and we hope that the 2nd child can benefit from some undivided attention when he's at Kindy. Every cloud..
08-04-2016 08:44 #17
Subbing to reply later. I have a 3 yr 3 month age gap and it has been amazing! Will come back after work to reply properly.
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08-04-2016 08:49 #18
We're in a similar situation @Papillon. While I have plenty of time, dh is in his 40s. We want a bigger family but it's not likely to happen at this rate.
I read the same article I think. There is so many benefits of having a larger age gap in terms of easier to managed two kids as the older one is more independent. Plus it would be better for my career and finances.
Last edited by AdornedWithCats; 08-04-2016 at 12:33.
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08-04-2016 10:35 #19
I love my 3 year gap. They play outside together a fair bit and DD is a mother hen and takes it a personal challenge to make him laugh. She became more independent around the time he was born which is great brcause she is usually happy to play lr watch tv while I feed DS and put him to bed.
Only con for me is that I sort of just got my life back after breastfeeding DD for 2.5 years and had to redjust to having someone depend on me all the time again.
I dont think I could have done closer together.
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08-04-2016 11:12 #20
I found a 3yr gap more difficult for these reasons
3yr tantrums are awful. Main reason
I'd had good night sleeps then the newbie phase hit me.
We were nappy free for ages
I had to do stuff with my 3yo
3yo nap less than 2yo (boohoo)
They want to help (hinder)
On different age routines
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