I'd thought I'd provide an update on how we are travelling and have a positive story on here that people may stumble across when looking for support and reassurance in the dead of the night.
If you weren't aware, dd2's sleep had descended into a nightmare, as I posted many times lol. She woke 4-6 times a night on average needing boob. She had the occasional "good" night but they were few and far between, and even then it was every 3 or so hours. She napped mostly in 40 minute chunks. She was miserable. I was miserable, I was developing PND. I didn't enjoy anything. I cried a lot with exhaustion. My 3yo copped the brunt of my mood swings and I felt awful that I wasn't in control of my emotions.
Just over a week ago at 5 months we did controlled crying (I followed the sleepeasy solution book) to teach her to self settle and resettle. Yes it was tough, but it was much tougher on us when she wasn't sleeping. Yes she cried (sometimes a lot!) but she was already waking and crying multiple times a night, every night, for 14 weeks now. But now after a week she sleeps 7-6/7 with a dream feed at 930. She naps like a champion. Her feeding has also improved- her constant feeding day and night has stopped now she takes good amounts at the breast when she wakes and I'm no longer worried she's going hungry. She's happy and thriving, and so am I. I can't believe how things have changed and how great life is now- dd1 and dh have me back. I love my bed. Oh how I missed it. Now anyone can put her down to sleep with a cuddle and some books.
The third night was the hardest. She started flipping herself over on her stomach when crying and got stuck which made her extra upset. I was unsure if I was meant to go in and flip her back. I initially did a few times but then realised she needed to learn how to sleep in whatever position she put herself into. Turns out she's a tummy sleeper.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel if you are going down this road. Stick with it. The results are worth it
My baby still loves me, more than ever now that she can get a good rest. I also used it with success on dd1 and she's not damaged either!
Thank you for all your kind words and support during my sleep deprivation hell xxxx
Feel free to share positive controlled crying stories as well
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02-04-2016 08:22 #1
SLEEP finally :)
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02-04-2016 09:01 #2
So happy for you, you sound truly relieved and everyone getting sleep again can only be a good thing!
Whilst my experience with DS1 wasn't nearly as bad we also did CC at 9 mnths and it only took 3 nights. As you say they're up crying anyway - and in our case it truly was worth the pain. DS1 has been an amazing sleeper ever since (he is now 4), self settles with ease, and relatives always comment on how easily he goes down and his ability to sleep through consistently.
I think if you feel in your gut that it's worth trying then go for it. Some babies just really need to self settle and refuse to be rocked/patted/nursed to sleep - and sometimes they require a little help - or 'stepping back' from mummy and daddy, in order to learn to do this. Our DS1 still insists that we leave the room so he can go to sleep, he just likes to be alone for sleeping.
02-04-2016 09:33 #3
Woohoo...I'm so please for you girls. I had similar troubles with my DD (now 12). It was a living nightmare! I did a gentle CC after a stay at sleep school, and it was literally life saving. I am always loathe to share my story and success on BH as it is so frowned upon here π
With my subsequent children I was able to implement the same techniques (wrap/shush/pat) from birth and had much more settled babies who slept much better.
02-04-2016 13:37 #4
lms great news! I know you were really struggling, I'm so glad you were confident to make changes and they worked! π
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02-04-2016 16:33 #5Senior Member
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02-04-2016 16:41 #6
I had to leave my son alone to go to sleep. Before we went for help, he would be crying for up to 45 min, while I rocked/paced etc. within one day, he was going off to sleep with just a bit of a grizzle and quiet in 5 min. I always thought I'd be super crunchy and rocking/feeding to sleep for ages. Turns out my kids just don't want that!!
02-04-2016 16:43 #7
02-04-2016 17:20 #8
That's such good news I'm so happy for you and think it's great that you feel so positive. Like you I also think doing cc for ds1 was the best thing we could have done for him and us and since 6 months he has been the most amazing sleeper. It's amazing the difference having a good sleeper can be to your mental health, my 9 month old is just shocking right now despite months of on off sleep training and me and DH were just saying that if he had been our first we would never have considering getting pregnant again so soon (there's 19 months between boys so we were ttc about this time) so it's funny how the temperament of the baby can make such a difference. I know pnd affects many people in different ways but I know for me being sleep deprived affects my mood so much. We are currently in Madrid for a holiday and the jetlag has been horrendous on ds2. It's been 5 days now and every night at about 1am he wakes and just can't get back to sleep so gets totally hysterical. The first night we tried for 2 hours to calm him, eventually DH went out for a walk with him in the carrier but as soon as he returned he woke and each night since we've been up and down watching tv etc. The only way he can sleep is on me so it's been tough. It's also tough as when he's so exhausted during the day he gets awful separation anxiety for me and I can't leave his sight. I've been really down for a couple of days as I'm so tired and feel like nobody can help as he needs me to help him sleep etc, but this morning after managing to get him back to sleep he slept for a few more hours and today is a different baby. So happy like usual and I can leave him with others etc. Suddenly I feel ok again. I can totally see how easy it can be to slip into pnd and doing some sleep training can be a life saver in many cases.
Right now I'm sitting in the lounge after putting ds2 down for a nap, 2-3 mins of crying but now he's quiet. It's hard but for some babies they need it. I've noticed that for ds2 the last few days he was just getting hysterical as he didn't know how to go back to sleep. Teaching them to do it themselves can make them so much more relaxed and contented. I'm hoping once I get back from Madrid and we get over the jetlag again on the way back we will crack this sleeping!!!
02-04-2016 18:21 #9
We have had similar success doing responsive settling - yep there was some crying but not heaps, things are SO much better now!! @Kaybaby I am hoping to implement some gentle techniques earlier with my next bubba like you did whenever that may be!!
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02-04-2016 18:28 #10Senior Member
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- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
LMS, your post is very inspiring. You have achieved a great outcome ν ½νΈ Thanks for posting.
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