I agree with most of that for sure. This time around though, I am with a man who I adore. He is lovely. My ex husband is a nice guy I admit, but we were unhappy together but he gave me two beautiful children. I do suffer from depression but I handled things a lot better this time, had a few emotional dramas lol, but overall I felt a lot happier in general.
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31-03-2016 21:37 #31
31-03-2016 21:38 #32
I think we've probably gone off topic but one last point on age and parenting. Of course we can only speak from our own experience. I was never a mum in my 20s so can't comment on how much energy I may or may not have had. My 2 yo can be really difficult and I have no idea if I would have coped better as a 24yo than I do as a 44yo.
So comparisons are always going to be anecdotal.
31-03-2016 21:39 #33
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31-03-2016 21:41 #34
31-03-2016 21:45 #35
For some people money decides # of kids. For us it's age. That's why we got married at 24&26. Had our first at 26&28yo. Dh is getting the snip in Dec as he turns 35 next March. I need to respect his feelings.
31-03-2016 21:48 #36-
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31-03-2016 21:50 #37
How to make it work with 3 kids...
OP you might find being in new baby haze also makes you more clucky. The morning after I had my DS the first thing I said was, I want another one. I'm also so grateful I've had him all to myself for 3 years, that one on one time in the early years has been precious.
I'll be the in the same spot as you I'm sure, I'm 7 months pregnant with the second and we already talk about a third, I don't feel done right now.
Could really depend on how you go with two as well. My DS is a very "spirited" child, very high energy, hates sleep, he's divine, but not easy. If I have another one as demanding as him that might sway me to stop at 2. I also have to factor in more IVF and possible miscarriages and complications to even consider a third so may just not be possible. If we didn't have to do IVF, we'd absolutely have a third but my babies are hard to make and carry.
See how you go as your bub gets a bit older. I know a few people who've gone for the third and are really happy. For me, finances wouldn't be a huge factor, especially if you've already got 2 kids but it's def something you have to consider. I would anticipate juggling working with 3 kids would be much harder and work would Prob be the thing that has to take a backseat as such. Age wouldn't bother me, especially for the third child. I'd be happy to have a 3rd at close to 40 if that's what ended up.
Last edited by Clementine Grace; 31-03-2016 at 21:52.
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31-03-2016 21:52 #38
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31-03-2016 21:54 #39
31-03-2016 21:55 #40
Also I found as a 26yo mum I had patience and energy to deal with the gazillion wake ups, I was flexible, adapted quickly to my babies needs without losing my identity.
Yet now, I'm more tired at 32. Dh has a shorter temper than he did 6yrs ago. How can we parent our children gently if we are tired all the time?
Dd3 as a newborn knocked the socks off me. Granted dh was away for the first 9 weeks of her life but it was exhausting. I don't recall feeling so tired after my first two.
*this is in exact reference to dh and I as parents. This does not extend to anyone else.
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