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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes - there are some benefits to being an older parent - more likely to be financially secure and independent (not reliant on a man). More relaxed, possibly happier and less depressed. Less likely to have regrets as you've done all the things you wanted to do before having kids. Some may say generally more stable all around however not sure I would always agree - that's a can of worms.


    I agree with most of that for sure. This time around though, I am with a man who I adore. He is lovely. My ex husband is a nice guy I admit, but we were unhappy together but he gave me two beautiful children. I do suffer from depression but I handled things a lot better this time, had a few emotional dramas lol, but overall I felt a lot happier in general.

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  3. #32
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    I think we've probably gone off topic but one last point on age and parenting. Of course we can only speak from our own experience. I was never a mum in my 20s so can't comment on how much energy I may or may not have had. My 2 yo can be really difficult and I have no idea if I would have coped better as a 24yo than I do as a 44yo.

    So comparisons are always going to be anecdotal.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No. They were just implying that it would perhaps be the end of the world for them. Heaven forbid a 50 year old have a 15 and 17 year old kid!
    But who cares if they think that? Why does one person's personal opinion about their own age preferences for when they have their own children matter?

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    We can be dinosaur buddies together.

    lol another oldie here lol

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  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No. They were just implying that it would perhaps be the end of the world for them. Heaven forbid a 50 year old have a 17 year old kid!
    For us. Yes it would be hard. You are right. Dh doesn't want teens at home when he is 50. He realises we will need to care for our parents at this stage and juggling them plus old/sick parents will be difficult. He wants to go PT and travel/enjoy life then. He has served in the ADF since he was 18yo. His feelings are valid.

    For some people money decides # of kids. For us it's age. That's why we got married at 24&26. Had our first at 26&28yo. Dh is getting the snip in Dec as he turns 35 next March. I need to respect his feelings.

  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    But who cares if they think that? Why does one person's personal opinion about their own age preferences for when they have their own children matter?
    Besides the fact that it's ridiculous ( 32 old- pfffttttt!) the delivery was just a tad insensitive and condascending to tho those of us with walking sticks.

  10. #37
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    Default How to make it work with 3 kids...

    OP you might find being in new baby haze also makes you more clucky. The morning after I had my DS the first thing I said was, I want another one. I'm also so grateful I've had him all to myself for 3 years, that one on one time in the early years has been precious.

    I'll be the in the same spot as you I'm sure, I'm 7 months pregnant with the second and we already talk about a third, I don't feel done right now.

    Could really depend on how you go with two as well. My DS is a very "spirited" child, very high energy, hates sleep, he's divine, but not easy. If I have another one as demanding as him that might sway me to stop at 2. I also have to factor in more IVF and possible miscarriages and complications to even consider a third so may just not be possible. If we didn't have to do IVF, we'd absolutely have a third but my babies are hard to make and carry.

    See how you go as your bub gets a bit older. I know a few people who've gone for the third and are really happy. For me, finances wouldn't be a huge factor, especially if you've already got 2 kids but it's def something you have to consider. I would anticipate juggling working with 3 kids would be much harder and work would Prob be the thing that has to take a backseat as such. Age wouldn't bother me, especially for the third child. I'd be happy to have a 3rd at close to 40 if that's what ended up.
    Last edited by Clementine Grace; 31-03-2016 at 22:52.

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  12. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Besides the fact that it's ridiculous ( 32 old- pfffttttt!) the delivery was just a tad insensitive and condascending to tho those of us with walking sticks.

    lol almost made me spit out the dentures!

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  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Besides the fact that it's ridiculous ( 32 old- pfffttttt!) the delivery was just a tad insensitive and condascending to tho those of us with walking sticks.
    Maybe I just missed it then. Given I'm way and beyond older than any of you I thought she was just speaking about herself.

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  16. #40
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    Also I found as a 26yo mum I had patience and energy to deal with the gazillion wake ups, I was flexible, adapted quickly to my babies needs without losing my identity.

    Yet now, I'm more tired at 32. Dh has a shorter temper than he did 6yrs ago. How can we parent our children gently if we are tired all the time?

    Dd3 as a newborn knocked the socks off me. Granted dh was away for the first 9 weeks of her life but it was exhausting. I don't recall feeling so tired after my first two.

    *this is in exact reference to dh and I as parents. This does not extend to anyone else.

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