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  1. #11
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    I agree with Barnaby. It was bliss with 3 on mat leave as it meant i had time to devote to the older ones as well. That was a special time. I found it harder when i went back to work when baby was 18mths.

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    sunnygirl79  (31-03-2016)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    I agree with Barnaby. It was bliss with 3 on mat leave as it meant i had time to devote to the older ones as well. That was a special time. I found it harder when i went back to work when baby was 18mths.
    Oh it's definitely a huge consideration. I have friends with school age kids and they're always playing taxi with all the activities and then there's all the homework... DS1 will be in prep next year so I will get a taste. I have been trying to think of a work arrangement that would work better with school hours, still trying to figure out that one.
    I started studying my dip ed but not sure teaching is the way to go as the hours would make drop offs and pick ups hard (but would get school holidays at home with kids, even if I am marking/preparing classes etc). But might be better when the kids are a bit older and can catch buses etc. With my current job I have to work 9-5 but going to try negotiate reduced hours next year.

  4. #13
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    For me going from 2 to 3 was not much different going from 1 to 2. We have a 3 yr gap between all 3 meaning I only had 1 at home fulltime, when ds2 was born ds1 was at 3yr kindy for 6 months, that 1 on 1 time with ds2 was an important factor for me. Then when I went back to work ds1 was in kindy and ds2 went to daycare meaning only ever having the 1 in daycare. The same scenario when we had ds3. Having the same sex also reduced costs. We never had more than 1 in nappies, teething, in daycare, in cots etc.
    We hoped for a 3 year gap between each and so glad it worked out that way.

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    sunnygirl79  (01-04-2016)

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post

    I will say the one thing that has kind of come out of left field for me is that my oldest (year 2) seems to need me around more as a school kid than he did as a baby/toddler. There is so much school stuff to be involved in, after school activities, play dates, generally just more emotional needs. Now I am on maternity leave and he is really thriving having me home. I will never give up my career, but this isn't what I was expecting and has left me to wonder how I will manage working with 3 school kids.
    Yep, it gets busier as they get older.

    Babies and toddlers are easy.

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    sunnygirl79  (01-04-2016)

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  9. #16
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    The school stuff is never ending. My kids are in year 5, 2 and prep. My prep does nothing much but the older girls have so much on it's crazy. My 2yo spends a lot of time in the car or being largely ignored while I plow through homework with the older 2. If I had just had 3 it would have been a lot easier.

    I guess it's all relative. 3 is harder to balance than 2. 4 feels out of the ball park again.

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    sunnygirl79  (01-04-2016)

  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    We have three with 0 regrets and debating #4. I've had the same yearning for another within hours/days of a birth.

    The only thing holding us back from #4 is finance. Which a part of me thinks is absolutely idiotic. But it is a valid reason for others including dh.

    Another reason to debate - can you juggle 3 solo? My dh is away very often so I know I can. I also know I could juggle 4 as I am very confident in my parenting skills.

    What worries me is that #4 may not be an as easy pregnancy/labour/child. Let's face it. I'm getting older. I'm 32 this year. Odds are not increasing in my favour. Dh is 34. He flat out refuses to have any kids after he is 35. We will be 50 with a 15yo and 17yo at home if we have another next year (plus a 20&22yo).
    gosh, I just had my first at age 35 (36 in a few months). you must think I'm positively geriatric. I reckon finances are more of a relevant factor in deciding whether to have more than age. there's not much difference in the big scheme of things between having a kid at 32 or 36.

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    VicPark  (31-03-2016)

  13. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    gosh, I just had my first at age 35 (36 in a few months). you must think I'm positively geriatric. I reckon finances are more of a relevant factor in deciding whether to have more than age. there's not much difference in the big scheme of things between having a kid at 32 or 36.
    I don't think you are a geriatric. These are my concerns. I'm worried about health issues, pregnancy, labour, coping on minimal sleep with a newborn and older children. I simply don't have the energy I had with my first at 26yo.

  14. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I don't think you are a geriatric. These are my concerns. I'm worried about health issues, pregnancy, labour, coping on minimal sleep with a newborn and older children. I simply don't have the energy I had with my first at 26yo.
    Age is a very personal thing and rose's comments are spot on.

    I had my first at 32 and my last at 42. I had 2 more in between those ages. My recovery each time was longer and slower, my ability to cope with sleep deprivation decreased along with my patience. It's also hard as almost all of my friends have left the baby stage well behind and I'm still stuck in it. It can be lonely and isolating.

    I don't regret waiting to have kids not one bit but I'd be lying if I said being older with small children is easy.

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    BubbleGuts  (01-04-2016)

  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Let's face it. I'm getting older. I'm 32 this year. Odds are not increasing in my favour..
    ...ah. That's not old.


 

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