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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD - found proof IL's snooping

    So I want to know what would you do?

    I've stumbled across a list of medications I take, their prescribed dosages & when to take them. They appear to have been written from the medication packets from the pharmacy label.

    The note is handwritten by my MIL, and was stored in one of their "junk draws". (The type of drawer that you put stuff in to keep it off the bench eg phone chargers, keys, purses etc).

    The medications listed are hidden when they come to stay, because one is for a medical condition I have, that is a secret & the medication is illegal to possess with an authority script.

    1. The list was only written within the last couple months (new medical condition only Dx recently)
    2. Meds were hidden, I keep them well hidden as IL's are very narrow minded
    3. Saw the note when FIL asked me to grab his car keys (so I was not snooping to find it).

    I'm so upset. I've always thought they'd go through our stuff but now I've the proof I've got no idea what to say or do. I'm beyond angry & haven't said anything because I didn't want to react in the heat of the moment.

    Hubby is nonchalant about the whole thing. But that's another story 😔

  2. #2
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    Write a note expressing yiur feelings and leave it somewhere where they should nt snoop but you knw they will. Where they fund your meds would be good.

    Ask 'how would you feel if I went through your stuff and kept a record of your personal things as part of my snooping?'

    If they have any moral conscience that will hot home to some degree.

    Seems they feel the need for some reason but that is not for me to guess.
    Last edited by DaveTTC; 28-03-2016 at 07:54.

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  4. #3
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    Seeing as your husband was so nonchalant about it was he the one to give his mother the information?

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    Not that this is an excuse, but could they have done this because they are worried about something?

  6. #5
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    Your husband could of spoken to them about it and just been concerned. If he's not worried sort of thing

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    I would be upset! Let your DH know how upset you are (and why) though as it will eat at you. If you otherwise have an ok relationship with IL's maybe its time to discuss the illness and also some privacy rules etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    Your husband could of spoken to them about it and just been concerned. If he's not worried sort of thing
    But this could be true. Maybe he was worried and wanted them to know the meds in case something happened and he was not around.

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    I would be upfront. "When I went to get your keys , I found a list of my medications and dosages etc. why do you have that?"

    Or maybe check your DH hasn't told them first...

    Being direct will catch them off guard and show it's unacceptable!

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    I would quiz your DH again to find out whether he has given them the info. You don't want to accuse them of snooping if they didn't do it.

    If your DH isn't involved, I'd ask them why they have it. I would want to know.

    Sorry to ask, but you weren't 'snooping' through their stuff when you found this list? If you were looking through stuff on the sly, it's pretty awkward to then confront them about going through your stuff!

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    Quote Originally Posted by kriista View Post
    I would be upfront. "When I went to get your keys , I found a list of my medications and dosages etc. why do you have that?"

    Or maybe check your DH hasn't told them first...

    Being direct will catch them off guard and show it's unacceptable!
    Yes I would do this.
    Maybe they are concerned about you. Has anything happened for them to be concerned?

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    I'd just confront them calmly about it and ask how they found the meds and what the reasoning behind the hand written note is. I'd check with your dh first though to see if he's mentioned anything but it does sound like she's found them herself if she's copied down the dosages etc and note is in her writing.

    I'd feel as outraged as you do, to have your privacy shattered like that, and by someone you've entrusted in your own home! it's pretty poor!

    I'm also appalled information she's acquired by such foul means is so casually stored. you'd think if you'd bothered to go to the trouble of snooping and making notes then you'd at least go to greater length to store this ill-gotten info a bit more securely!? I hate that kind of sloppiness!

    I think you need to confront and get this out in the open. keep us posted!

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