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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I must be an old Gary. In my world your daughter is scantily clad. Although you say she is wearing 'legitimate' clothing it's not in a 'legitimate setting (sporting etc). Its in front of the mirror with manicured hair and nails - later posted on line. It's the same as myself posting a photo of myself wearing a bikini in woolies and saying "hey, it's a legitimate piece of clothing."

    I have been at public adult centric events where children (from 5 to 18) have been dressed in leotards and heavy make up and I'm sorry I just shudder.
    What :/

    Leotards with hair and nails done perfectly and heavy make up to me equals any number of legitimate sports or occasions.
    Gymnastics
    Dance
    Ballet
    Drama
    Singing

    Now this could be at a
    rehearsal.
    Exam
    Proformance
    All of which it would totally normal to take a mirror shot and post online. I know I take photos of my kids and post them when they do these things.

    No maybe because I live in the tropics but leotards and swimmers are normal clothes everywhere with a pair of shorts/skirt over the top. He'll I did as a teen too.

    All totally normal behaviour.

    As for 13 years want to seen. Well of course they do its a developmental stage they need to go through to find out who and what they are. That the age where many kids start to firm their teenage identity eg. .. jock, emo. Rocker. Nerd. Good girl/guy. Party girl/guy etc... its all about finding out who you are....

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  3. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Do you feel the original photo in this thread is provocative?
    Yes..and that is why I posted. She posted it because she thought she looked good in it...and she does..but IMO she is too young to be posting photos that "appear" provocative even if that was not her intention...it's the message it sends to her peers and also the concern about her feeling she needs to post such photos for attention.
    However, I think the discussion has got caught up in the attire. The truth is she could just as easily post a photo that "appears" provocative in every day shorts and tee.

    And..for the record, she is far from manicured, aside from painting her nails, she is unadorned. Her specialist sport is Touch Rugby..so most of her day is in a rugby top, sports shorts and footy boots. She a pretty diverse kid...

  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post

    There's an "I want to look pretty/girly" aspect to my 3 year old's obsession with dresses. I hate it...absolutely despise the fact that our society focuses on separating children in such a gendered way and that she's beginning to buy into it. Of course I encourage well-rounded interests, and talk about what things I think are valuable. There's a big difference between that though, and banning her from, or judging her for, wearing dresses.
    Hey Renn, I wouldn't stress too much, I truly believe so much of "gender" is inate. Girls are either girly girls or they are not...I know heaps of girls who, despite growing up in the same neighborhood, wouldn't have a bar of a dress and would rather stomp in puddles ...and others who twirled around the house like pink fluffy fairies haha. As long as you as a parent give them all the options...

  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    There is no reason for being concerned that a 13 year old girl wants to be looked at. This is the world they inhabit now.

    VicPark you hit the nail of the head. You are an old Gary.
    I disagree - there is reason to be concerned if a 13 year old thinks she is the sum of her body parts. And if the look-at-me exposes her to risks from strangers online.

    As for the old Gary yes I agree however I find comfort in the fact that there's a higher chance that dirty old perves won't be gaining pleasure by using scantily dressed photos of my children. Old Gary and proud of it!

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  7. #115
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    Ok I'm still back reading on page 8, so apologies if this has been mentioned... but why all the concern about 'the men?
    It's the teen boys that I'm worried about...

    *disclaimer- not all teen boys, obviously.

  8. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Ok I'm still back reading on page 8, so apologies if this has been mentioned... but why all the concern about 'the men?
    It's the teen boys that I'm worried about...

    *disclaimer- not all teen boys, obviously.
    I don't think anyone is really thinking of "men" but rather her peers. Given her age and what the OP has said access to her daughter's account would be by invite only not the world at large.

  9. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    This. I'm not concerned with paedos - I will look within my own home for them - trust me - I know all about that....

    I am concerned about social impact locally, and also, the reason behind the posting of such images - is it to make herself feel good, does she feel that looking "sexy" or sending a message that is provocative will help her be more popular among her peers, how is that tied up with self esteem, does she value looks over intelligence (she is a high acaedemic achiever)...all of that "stuff".

    Some of it is of course protective - I feel uncomfortable with provocative photos of my DD being posted amongst her peers group - I dont want boys to think she is an easy mark, i don't want a future BF to value her looks over her other, more important features, but of course kids dont post their test results online!
    Yes, this is exactly what my concerns are. Hence my confusion about the 'creepy old men' conversation.
    In my experience, these kind of provocative photos will totally lead to that kind of attention from boys, and other girls.
    Not the kind of attention that I want my DD being subjected to.

  10. #118
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    I'm thinking I'm missing something.

    I couldn't give two hoots if some dirty old perv knocked one out to a photo of my teenage girl. Yes it is gross, but not hurting anyone in the slightest.

    Plenty of other things to be more concerned about in regards to teenagers.

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  12. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I'm thinking I'm missing something.

    I couldn't give two hoots if some dirty old perv knocked one out to a photo of my teenage girl. Yes it is gross, but not hurting anyone in the slightest.

    Plenty of other things to be more concerned about in regards to teenagers.
    I was trying to stay out of this as I think previous posts have been misunderstood.

    You are wrong. 100% wrong that some one taking a photo of an under age child and m.asturbating does not hurt anyone.

    S.exual deviance for want of a better word is a slippery slope. The brain habituates and requires higher and higher levels of stimulation. Not everyone who views child exploitation material will go on to contact offend but many will.

    It is everyone's responsibility to ensure that these 'dirty perves' everyone is referring to so flippantly are not able to access this material.

    I'm not saying that this will happen to the OP's daughter's photos. But the fact that a number of posters have brushed aside the very real fact that some individuals will become aroused by what seems to be relatively innocent imagery and then go on to contact offend is blowing my mind.

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  14. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I'm thinking I'm missing something.

    I couldn't give two hoots if some dirty old perv knocked one out to a photo of my teenage girl. Yes it is gross, but not hurting anyone in the slightest.

    Plenty of other things to be more concerned about in regards to teenagers.
    This is exactly how I feel...you put it much better haha


 

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