I just went through this exact scenario.
I was pregnant when my fiancé started an emotional affair, which turned physical.
I'm sorry to be horrible, but I would leave. We tried to make it work but I couldn't trust him, he continued to speak to her and expected me to accept they were 'friends'. Everytime she felt crap about her life she would contact him again. I feel like once someone is emotionally with someone else there's no coming back.
It hurts and it's so hard. I cried for about 6 months, but now I'm so grateful that my son and I have the opportunity to meet someone who loves us and will make us their priority. If my family is not a mans number one priority and some hussy is then I'm sorry, he's out the door.
Being a single mum is easier then you think. Don't let that away your decision. You really need to question your personal beliefs and morals and find the balance of what you are willing to accept and ignore. I made the decision to not go against my values of honestly and trust, and personally I don't believe any amount of counselling can bring that feeling of safety back you have with a partner once they have an affair.
Sorry this happened to you OP. It's the worst feeling in the world, it doesn't stop hurting, but it does get easier to cope with and eventually you will be 1000 times stronger then any woman you know.
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29-03-2016 12:12 #31
29-03-2016 16:28 #32
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Wise Enough (29-03-2016)
29-03-2016 21:45 #33
I think it is important to remember that everyones experience is different and just because something worked for one it does not mean it will work for you. Conversely if something did not work for another it does not mean it will not work for you
Your experience is nothing new. It has been happening as long as humans have been having relationships. Some work thru it and some dont. There is a huge amount of varrying circumstances that could lead to such unfaithfulness.
Becareful with words. Words can do huge damage and can not be taken back
Sincerely hope you can do what is best for you and yours
30-03-2016 07:28 #34Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
Hi OP, so sorry for what you are going through. I too have been where you are, but my ex was physically cheating too. It hurts like nothing else, and at the moment I completely understand how raw everything is and the sense of overwhelming panic. Please remember a couple of things: YOU decide how things progress from here, not him. Your reactions are your own and only you can decide if this is something your relationship can withstand. If you stay, you need to set some hard and soft limits on what behaviours are acceptable within your relationship and what your responses will be if those boundaries are broken. You need to examine what impact staying or going will have on your mental and emotional health...neither path will be smooth sailing.
If you choose to leave, being a single mum is hard work and can be exhausting, but it also has its own rewards! Be gentle with yourself at this time and take the time to decide what you want. Good luck with it all and huge hugs
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