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  1. #1
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    Default Going through the motions

    Before I type this out I just want to say that I have created this thread for support and to hear from others who are feeling the same way I am. I don't mean to sound rude, but I don't want to hear from those who don't feel this way or don't understand only to be told how fulfilling they find their life and how I need counselling. I know my options, that is not why I created this thread.

    Sorry if that came across rude.

    Lately, actually, for a very long while now, I have felt no interest in life. I don't feel sad, per se. I just feel no motivation to do anything. I feel little to no pleasure in just about everything. I go to work, clean the house, see family and do all that stuff that everyone else does, but get little to no pleasure from it. Seeing family helps keep me from getting depressed, and I like doing it, but that's as far as it goes. I feel like I'm going through the motions. So I basically function fine. I just feel flat, like 90% of the time.

    I don't have any hobbies because I have zero interest in anything. I don't have anyone I consider friends because I'm tired of being the one to initiate contact and feeling like they are more important to me than I am to them. I have DP and I love him. I know I love him, but even with him I feel flat and that's something that has started to hurt me deeply. I don't want to feel like that with him because he is truly that one person for me.

    I'm finding it hard to focus at work, but that could be because I haven't had longer than a week off in almost 2 years (I changed jobs so have had to let my annual leave build up). I am going to America soon, though so that is something to look forward to. And I'm going for a specific thing in mind that is a dream for me to actually do. I feel like it's the first bit of joy I will feel in a long time.

    I fell into my job. I have no interest in it. I used to. I used to want to step up. But when I did I was under so much stress I decided to step down. Decided I just want a regular job and no stress.

    I feel guilt for things I did 5+ years ago. And those things make me feel like a bad person today, even though I have changed so much in those 5 years. I can't shake off the regret. It shaped me so much and changed me so much, but I feel like my stupidity made me lose a lot as well. Like a sense of anything other than numbness and regret. The severity of the emotions I felt in one year, it's like something shut down in my brain and I haven't been able to switch it back on.

    I am not depressed. I don't feel a crippling sense of sadness. I just feel nothing. And sometimes that gets me down a little.

    I guess I just want to hear from those who know what it's like and are going through something similar.
    Last edited by hopeful1986; 15-03-2016 at 13:47.

  2. #2
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    Firstly, hugs...

    My marriage was awful. So many awful things happened to me at the hands of my ex. When we finally separated, I felt nothing, numb, completely devoid of emotion. I, too, went through the motions, I got up, cooked, cleaned, cared for the children, did my best, told the kids I love them. But, I felt nothing. I believe that my brain shut my emotions down because I just couldn't have coped.

    I think I was traumatized by the events and how hard it all was to get through it all completely alone.

    But, I can honestly say that I'm normal now. It got better for me.

    I don't know if I've helped you at all..

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    hopeful1986  (15-03-2016)

  4. #3
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    I have often felt like this in the last couple of years, since my marriage breakdown. No motivation, lack of interest in things, forcing myself to be social...I feel like I have "lost my joy", flat. It is a depression of mood, even if it isn't accompanied by sadness. I have found that doing something solely for yourself helps..I have been concentrating on losing some weight and eating healthy, doing painting classes and seeing a counseller. These things gave made a difference, and I feel like I'm slowly getting my mojo back.

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    hopeful1986  (15-03-2016)

  6. #4
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    I know the feeling OP. I'm still in the same funk I have been for years. Like I am getting no joy out of life. No happiness. I really have nothing to add. Maybe someone else can help.

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    hopeful1986  (15-03-2016)

  8. #5
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    I was actually thinking about this the other day. If I was to rate my happiness with my life I would say I only feel somewhat happy 10% of the time and even then the level of happiness would probably be a 6/10.
    I haven't had any major traumatic events or anything like that and have felt like this for many years even before I was married and had kids.
    So I can empathize with this sense of apathy.
    I do have hobbies but lately can't find the motivation to do any of it. This part I think has to do with having kids and therefore less time and less opportunity to do other things in the evenings.

    Sorry I can't offer any answers as I don't have any myself.

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    hopeful1986  (15-03-2016)


 

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