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  1. #601
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    thanks everyone for your thoughts and kind words. they're making me cry and giving comfort at same time. yes, @Summer, we'd started planning our new life and it was going to be amazing. I don't think baby is gone completely yet so we're just pouring out the love to her before she goes so she knows how loved she is before she goes to sleep. today she's 9weeks (even if small for her age like me) DP is shattered too and has been a great support. I can only write about it all atm, I can't speak it out loud to anyone else but him yet. too raw. too soon

    best wishes to you all. you're all amazing.
    good luck for today's sticks Tahli (still early though)

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  3. #602
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    @winsor your post brought tears to my eyes. Big hugs to you today, I wish I could make it better for you.

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  5. #603
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    Oh @winsor, it must be so hard for you and DH at the moment. The natural thing to do want to do is just curl up in a ball and grieve your loss, but how can you do that when right now bubs is still with you? I think it's just so special that you and DH are taking this time to surround your baby with love while he/she is still here with you, and I have no doubt what-so-ever that your baby can feel how very much wanted he/she is. Sending you and DH massive, massive hugs hon. We are all here for you

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  7. #604
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    Good morning everyone,

    Well, I went to bed at 9pm last night and slept clear through until 4am - until naturally, I had to get up to pee. You know, because I'm old and I can't make it through the night without a bathroom break anymore! Anyway, I went back to bed after that and slept til 7.15am! It's an Easter miracle! I've never had so much sleep and damn do I feel better for it.

    I'm pretty organised for today already. The bulk of the housework is done (barring hanging up a load of laundry) so I am going to take a day for myself and do no work at all. Instead I'm going to paint my nails this morning (I know that sounds like a quick thing, but it actually takes me about 3 hours, lol) and then I'm going to go out for a nice lunch all by myself. You all kindly suggested I should treat myself to something nice so dammit, if Bub Hub says I have to then I will I am actually quite looking forward to it, because (A) Well, I get to eat and (B) I actually don't mind my own company. So it's all good!

    I posted up my introduction onto EDA the other day so I was wondering @Bongley if I might be able to ask you some questions about the whole advertising/interviewing process? If it's ok with you I will send you a PM with my email address so that perhaps you can share your wisdom? There is no great rush to respond or anything - God knows I'm terribly slack in that department myself - but I'd just like to arm myself with a little knowledge as to how things work and the advertising/interviewing process.

    OK, better get cracking and have my shower. Nails await!

    Hugs to all of you. @Tahli, very early days yet but anything to report?


    Blossom

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  9. #605
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    thanks. I posted on facebook. I know we're not meant to talk about things like this but I wanted her to know she's in the thoughts of my friends and family too. I'm just so sad. the cramping's gone now so I'm not sure how long we have

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  11. #606
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    @winsor my heart is breaking for you both. Im sure she knows how much she is loved and wanted by you both. Hugs to you both.xx

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  13. #607
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    @Blossom74 yes of course, glad to help! I'll be flying to Canada, away until mid next week so I'll be offline more than usual.

    Had a shock yesterday when my electronic visa response finally came through (I applied last week as soon as I got my new passport), it had been rejected Turns out if you have Canadian citizenship like I do (got it through naturalisation when I was a kid and have never held a Canadian passport) you MUST travel to Canada using a Canadian passport. Uh, sh!t. So off I ran to the consulate and they were going to issue me with an emergency Canadian passport. I'd anticipated this and got some documents and forms all ready to go, then they looked into it and said the visa rules were new (introduced two days ago) and there was a grace period so they would let me through at customs with my Australian passport. Holy heart attack batman. I thought for a while there I was not going to be able to go to Canada because I was a citizen I've travelled to Canada several times on holiday and never knew I was supposed to have a canadian passport to do this.

    Anyway, all good now but I've aged 10 years in 24 hours.

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  15. #608
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    thanks. I posted on facebook. I know we're not meant to talk about things like this but I wanted her to know she's in the thoughts of my friends and family too. I'm just so sad. the cramping's gone now so I'm not sure how long we have

    Maybe in the olden days we were not meant to talk about things like this hon, but I think that attitude is changing now - and rightly so. This is exactly why, when I found out I was pregnant with Blossom (and I mean, as soon as I found out I was pregnant) I told all of my immediate family.

    I wanted my baby to be acknowledged! I wanted everyone to know that no matter if this ends well or not, YES, I did have a child! Despite the fact that in the end he/she couldn't stay with us here on Earth, he/she was still my child and was so very much loved and wanted. My child counted, as much as any of my other nieces and nephews did. I truly feel that acknowledgement is very important in the healing process.

    Yes, people might find it hard to know what to say, but that doesn't mean you have to sweep something so significant - the loss of your darling baby - under the carpet. Good on you for sharing your story hon. I'm just so sorry you've had to go through such a sad loss

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  17. #609
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    @Blossom74 yes of course, glad to help! I'll be flying to Canada, away until mid next week so I'll be offline more than usual.

    Had a shock yesterday when my electronic visa response finally came through (I applied last week as soon as I got my new passport), it had been rejected Turns out if you have Canadian citizenship like I do (got it through naturalisation when I was a kid and have never held a Canadian passport) you MUST travel to Canada using a Canadian passport. Uh, sh!t. So off I ran to the consulate and they were going to issue me with an emergency Canadian passport. I'd anticipated this and got some documents and forms all ready to go, then they looked into it and said the visa rules were new (introduced two days ago) and there was a grace period so they would let me through at customs with my Australian passport. Holy heart attack batman. I thought for a while there I was not going to be able to go to Canada because I was a citizen I've travelled to Canada several times on holiday and never knew I was supposed to have a canadian passport to do this.

    Anyway, all good now but I've aged 10 years in 24 hours.


    Lol, holy cow! Because that's just the sort of panic you need to be in right now, right?! I'm glad you got it sorted but gosh you must have been feeling frazzled afterwards

    I've sent you a PM with my myriad of questions, lol. Thanks so much, and like I said - no pressure. I'd appreciate any tips you can offer in due course.

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  19. #610
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    @winsor You're very much in my thoughts. I'm so glad you and DP are on the same page. He sounds like a wonderful, kind, supportive and loving man.
    When I was in a similiar position to you, it took a few weeks for my little one's heart to finally stop beating. I had very regular scans and his heart rate continued to drop with each scan. Once his heart did actually stop, I waited weeks to miscarry but it just wouldn't happen naturally. I think I bled for about 4-6 weeks before becoming anemic and having a d&c.
    As you already know and are doing, treasure the time you still have together because this little one will impact on your lives and hearts forever. A mother's love never ends.

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