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  1. #331
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    Quote Originally Posted by winsor View Post
    DP raised what if the kid has Downs or similar as it's a high chance. I said we'd think about that if we get to it and my results will prob give a high chance due to my age. showed him all the info about the tests. today I'm working on assignment due tomorrow. almost there

    DH and I have spoken at length about this too. And yes, many of the tests would probably come back as high risk at our age anyway. However, I have pretty high faith in the Harmony test results, so we would be guided by those. As bad as this sounds, I know that DH and I don't think we could continue a pregnancy if there was an issue with Downs or some other significant risk. I know that people do of course manage that and more power to them - but I am not the sort of person who feels equipped to cope with a chiild who has significant disabilities. Not only that, being older and not in a great financial position we would not like to have to worry about how to take care of this child long term and into the future when we are gone. It's such a terribly personal choice though and you really have to follow your gut on that decision. And hey, it's 'easy' for me to say all of that now, but I imagine if I were sitting in a clinic, looking at a scan of my baby, the decision could probably still go either way. Sometimes logic doesn't come into it. I pray that it's not something I ever have to worry about to be honest

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  3. #332
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    So this afternoon DH are heading off to a lunch time 30th birthday BBQ which will be nice. It is at a friend's house and there are other people coming that I've never met so I feel a little awkward about it but hopefully it is a lovely afternoon. If nothing else it will keep my mind off things until later this afternoon when I can unleash and POAS! I have been holding on since 9am and don't intend to go again until we get back around 3pm so that is the best I can do, lol. Will try not to drink too much though in the mean time cos that's a fair while to go without weeing

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  5. #333
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    thanks ladies

    hi @Kookii welcome..i cant help with Dr M but there are plenty of ladies in here that can. Im sorry to hear about your mc, take good care of yourself during this sh!tty time.

    great it will take your mind off things @Blossom74, thats exactly what you need! I agree with you in regards to having a child with a disability, DH has worked with disabled people for many years (of all levels of disability) and knows the extent of how hard it is so is very adamant that we would not go there. Ive always had that thought in any case but I do take my hat off to people who choose to go ahead regardless. Not an easy choice to make and very individual.

    good luck with this arvo POAS!

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  7. #334
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom74 View Post
    DH and I have spoken at length about this too. And yes, many of the tests would probably come back as high risk at our age anyway. However, I have pretty high faith in the Harmony test results, so we would be guided by those. As bad as this sounds, I know that DH and I don't think we could continue a pregnancy if there was an issue with Downs or some other significant risk. I know that people do of course manage that and more power to them - but I am not the sort of person who feels equipped to cope with a chiild who has significant disabilities. Not only that, being older and not in a great financial position we would not like to have to worry about how to take care of this child long term and into the future when we are gone. It's such a terribly personal choice though and you really have to follow your gut on that decision. And hey, it's 'easy' for me to say all of that now, but I imagine if I were sitting in a clinic, looking at a scan of my baby, the decision could probably still go either way. Sometimes logic doesn't come into it. I pray that it's not something I ever have to worry about to be honest

    And that's why Ex-DP and I wanted to have the elective CVS done for all of those reasons you've mentioned because I/we feel/felt exactly the same Luv except I know I would've chosen to terminate the pregnancy if any chromosomal abnormalities were present as bad as it sounds.

    At the end of the day, it wasn't about an inability to love our child it was about the quality of life a child with profound disabilitlies would have especially the intellectual capacity to be able to understand that one day we would no longer be alive to care for them and then what?? They end up in an Aged Care home in their 30's or something not understanding why the hell they're there or where we are??

    No, that kind of future was just too cruel to even contemplate doing to any child of mine and there was no way I'd expect any siblings (if we'd had other children) or extended family to be responsible for what was ultimately our choices. I think that's unfair to do to siblings/family. They have the right to lead their lives without that kind of expectation and responsibility foisted on them as far as I'm concerned.

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  9. #335
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kookii View Post
    Am I allowed in here even if I'm a '77 girl?
    We've been ttc#1 for 4 years, in 2014 we found out dh' swimmers are too cr@ppy, ICSI our only hope. Here we are, still waiting for that first baby after 3 FETs and one fresh transfer. Currently experiencing a mc with my first IVF bfp.

    I've been told to have me check for immune issues and an endo scratch. Atm I'm with a low cost clinic after many failed cycles with IVF A, I'll have to ask if they offer them. If not, I don't know what we'll do. I've already asked in another thread if Its possible to be treated by Dr M and have a FET/cycle with my clinic?

    Well, it's Sunday. I'll rest today and go full IVF mode tmr 💪
    Welcome @Kookii and sorry to hear that you're going trough such a tough time. You'll get lots of support here on this thread. I hope you can have a nice Sunday relaxing. Ps I'm a '77 gal too 3 cycles and 6bfns.

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  11. #336
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kookii View Post
    Am I allowed in here even if I'm a '77 girl?
    We've been ttc#1 for 4 years, in 2014 we found out dh' swimmers are too cr@ppy, ICSI our only hope. Here we are, still waiting for that first baby after 3 FETs and one fresh transfer. Currently experiencing a mc with my first IVF bfp.

    I've been told to have me check for immune issues and an endo scratch. Atm I'm with a low cost clinic after many failed cycles with IVF A, I'll have to ask if they offer them. If not, I don't know what we'll do. I've already asked in another thread if Its possible to be treated by Dr M and have a FET/cycle with my clinic?

    Well, it's Sunday. I'll rest today and go full IVF mode tmr ������

    Of course you're welcome Luv!!!

    My understanding is that low cost Clinics won't do those kinds of procedures or really delve that deeply into testing for Immune Issues. Hopefully your will but don't be surprised if they don't.

    As for Dr M, my understanding is that you can do ph consults with him and he will send all BT request forms and any prescriptions you might need for your upcoming FET through the mail as he knows many of his patients can't get down to Sydney to see him for a variety of reasons.

    It's possible for you to take whatever medication Dr M would prescribe you and still do your FET with your current Clinic, but as for your FS working in tandem with Dr M...most of them won't. Some will but a lot of them get the sh!ts about it for unbeknown reasons as you'd think doing the best by your patient and helping them to get a BFP anyway you can would be their priority??

    I think another reason could be because many FS's don't believe in Immune Issues so think Dr M (who is a Reproductive Immunologist and a stand alone Specialist) and his protocols/opinions etc a load of BS. The many, many Ladies who've gotten a BFP with him after countless Cycles etc would beg to differ I'd say!!!

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  13. #337
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxcat View Post
    thanks ladies

    hi @Kookii welcome..i cant help with Dr M but there are plenty of ladies in here that can. Im sorry to hear about your mc, take good care of yourself during this sh!tty time.

    great it will take your mind off things @Blossom74, thats exactly what you need! I agree with you in regards to having a child with a disability, DH has worked with disabled people for many years (of all levels of disability) and knows the extent of how hard it is so is very adamant that we would not go there. Ive always had that thought in any case but I do take my hat off to people who choose to go ahead regardless. Not an easy choice to make and very individual.

    good luck with this arvo POAS!

    I take my hat off them too Luv and sometimes you don't get a choice as all the testing under the sun can indicate that a child is healthy in every imaginable way but then once they're born or a bit further on down the track is when issues reveal themselves as I know only too well.

    I guess what I'm saying is that it would never be a deliberate choice if I knew beforehand.

    Good luck with your upcoming Cycle too!!!

    and prayers being sent it's your "lucky last" that gets you over the line to a BFFP!!!

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  15. #338
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    @Blossom74 oh today im feeling your anxiety and hope all at the same time. Fx your dreams are coming true as i type this.

    @Tahli congrats on pupo lovely. This is the one or should I say 2 😀

    @BlondeinBrisvegas i really hope you get to the bottom of your LO global delays. Hopefully with intense therapy she continues to thrive. One thing is for sure she is one lucky little lady having you in her corner.

    Afm i got absolutely smashed the last two night shifts. X2 14 hr days and no breaks at all. Needless to say feeling post nightshift hang over today blah i hate it. Going to go with scratch and flush in wazza rooms around the end of march. I hope i can get through the pain. Then cycle early in april. Its taking sooooooo long.

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  17. #339
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    @Kookii welcome luv everyone here is lovely. Im sorry to hear about your mc. I had one for xmas😢. Im a 77 girl to. 7 cycles down and only one mc so im feeling your pain. Fx you find some new direction and answers here. I certainly have.

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  19. #340
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    @Blossom74 its after 3pm ???

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