We opted out when DS was born. But we had family that live regionally so that made it easier for sure. I have all but given up my career after a very quick rise to leadership at a young age and gone into retail - partly because the commute and the job were killing and partly because it's not f$&King worth it. DH went back to do something he really wanted to do. We've sacrificed bigger incomes for lifestyle and it feels like the right thing for us. You get one life and ill be damned if I'm going to be a modern day slave.
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10-03-2016 19:21 #51
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10-03-2016 19:23 #52Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2014
The need for double income families is a social issue because life is really expensive, not because everyone is off driving $60 000 SUV's, and living in McMansions whilst going to Bali every 6 months.
10-03-2016 19:35 #53
I think it's both. On one hand living has becoming so bloody expensive, especially in the city. And that's just a basic rental or mortgage. But I also see a hell of a lot of people complaining they are broke, while living on decent incomes.... and spending ridiculous amounts of money of 'stuff'. A family member is a perfect example. Her and her DH are on quite a large household income for living in the country. They are always 'broke' but constantly redrawing and actually extending their mortgage for expensive cars, overseas holidays and luxury items. They work more hours to pay for more mounting debt then rather than stopping spending for 2 years, working their butts of to pay the debt then reducing their hours and living more in their means - they are borrowing spending more again, and complaining about the hours they work. My eye twitches furiously when she whinges to me how they are so broke and she has disconnection notices on utilities but their car never gets over 2 years old before they are buying another off the showroom
10-03-2016 19:46 #54Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
We probably look like we have 'opted out'. We drive cheap cars. One is 13 years old, the other 30. I suspect our families are embarrassed by our cars and mention how low their car repayments are.
I went back to work part time once my daughter was almost 2. I had opted for the second year of maternity leave due to illness. I didn't particularly want to go back, but I felt obligated and pressured by extended family. By my calculations we ended up with an extra $200 in our pockets each week. The stress of daycare runs, lack of sleep and pressure to meet sales targets meant that I dreaded work days.
I am now 26 weeks pregnant with my second. I was back at work a year. My dr advised me to go on maternity leave early due to prenatal anxiety and depression, as I technically failed my quarterly review. Because I had time off due to hyperemesis, I didn't make my sales quota, as if you are off sick they don't reduce your target. If you take annual leave they do. I was faced with a training program and assistance to help me meet my next quarter target. I was having migraines, struggling to eat and keep down food, and dizzy spells. Changing my work hours didn't help as it meant paying more for daycare, and I was still getting such and taking time off.
The big problem is that the basic standard of living is expensive. Workers are dispensable and you are easily replaceable. Everything costs a lot, and you are looked down on if you don't have it or buy into the flashy lifestyle
10-03-2016 19:49 #55
I have always worked apart from having mat leave after all 3 children. I work because I want to, I love the work I do and staying home fulltime isn't me. I also like to contribute financially for our family. My wage over the 22 years dh and I has been a minumum of $50,000 and a max of $90,000, my wage has increased as I have gained experience. Dh's wage has fluctuated between $80,000 and $160,000 including being unable to work for 4 years due to an accident, they were tough times which I hope not to endure again, it was just lucky we had another property we could sell to get us out of the s*** which was due to us buying a house early in our relationship. together has been wage.
We have had to tighten our spendings somewhat at times but our debts didn't changed during the years dh was earning the big bucks. We have worked hard to buy things with cash or if we have had a loan it's been paid quickly, our only debt is our mortgage which will reduce dramatically when things boom again and we can sell our other property.
Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 10-03-2016 at 20:21.
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10-03-2016 19:50 #56
If someone is in a more leadership and senior role where I think the glass ceiling is more paramount, I just don't see how part time would be fair on the business. Most of those people have others reporting to them, they have so many meetings to attend, decisions to make.
I am only speaking from my experience in a finance role. It might he different in other occupations.
10-03-2016 19:56 #57
I had a job offer for a graduate position in a top tier law firm - and then I fell pregnant. That was the death knell for my career in law unfortunately.
When we had children my DH earned more money than me so I was the SAH parent and we prioritised his career. Now I'm working full time and DH has been very supportive and is working flexibly so that I can try build my career up. Unfortunately - DH's career is going to stall now that he's on flexible hours. There's no win/win.
10-03-2016 19:59 #58Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
Part time just doesnt cut it in my line of work. Which is fine. I chose to work part time after all my 3 kids. I was grateful for that opportunity. Nine years later, i am back fulltime, lots of my contemporaries have progressed,which is also fine and entirely appropriate. I wasn't working full time by choice so wasnt able to perform certain roles. Now, i am back fulltime and going for it! I feel lucky to have had options.
10-03-2016 20:12 #59
I have been a mostly SAHM since my first child was born 5 years ago... with a short stint as a WAHM & working outside the home in between pregnancies. DH works full time, & up until this year, has had a job with long hours, which meant I have been 100% parent duties. He wasn't even 'allowed' to take a carers day to look after the kids when I have been extremely sick, etc, & he was only ever 'allowed' one day off when I was in hospital having surgery (& I was back to looking after them the next day, albeit very sore!) We manage fine on a single income... most of the time! We have never earned above 60k, so we are used to being careful with our money. He works hard being the 100% breadwinner... & I also work hard, having had 3 kids in 4 years. I also engage in a few different community and volunteer activities, which amount to approximately 1-2 days a week of 'work' for my community... all with kids in tow. Yeah, I feel underappreciated, but I love being a SAHM.... except when I hate it, lol. I am content with the choices we have made for our family, & even though I look forward to returning to work when my children reach school age, I am enjoying the time I have with them for now.
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10-03-2016 20:15 #60
Certainly in my area, on paper, it is completely feasible. Doesn't mean it happens irl though. You shouldn't be treated like a second class employee just because you are part time.
I was given a tip recently by another part time lady where I work - put your work hours in your email signature. People will take notice and are more likely to schedule meetings etc for a time you are available.
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