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    Default How would you handle this? Childcare issue.

    This afternoon when I picked up dd (20 months old) from Childcare , the first thing I noticed was that another little boy, who happens to be the son of a good friend was crying. He was seated on the floor and was reasonably distressed. There was a carer (a floater not one of the normal room staff) seated on a chair next to him but not engaging with him in any way. As I greeted dd I asked if he was okay. It took a minute before the carer sitting there said to me "he's in trouble." At that point I thought okay. Anyway, I spoke to another carer about dd's day, gathered up her stuff, and put on her shoes. The whole time I was aware of my friend's son crying and no one responding. At one point he tried to calm himself and picked up a toy near him, the carer took it off him and said "you shouldn't bite" quite sharply. I was in the room for maybe five minutes and quite upset by the whole thing. To me, 5+ minutes is too long to leave a child under 2 crying without offering some comfort. I understand that biting must be dealt with firmly but to me saying something to him immediately and removing him from the situation would be age appropriate. Continuing to ignore his distress for that long just seems wrong. I'm now worrying that similar approaches may be being used with my dd and I'm not okay with that at all. I think want to raise the situation with dd's room leader when I drop her off tomorrow. I think I'm wanting to find out if this is standard practice? Written out maybe it doesn't sound bad but in the pit of my stomach I feel sick about it. How would others approach this?

    I should add, I know this little boy very well. He's not a whingey child. I've never heard him that upset for that long. 😟 I'm also not sure whether I should mention this to my friend.

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    Far out this has upset me reading this! Totally inappropriate way to handle biting for a 2yo. I would perhaps speak to the centre director and just deal with facts eg: this is what I saw, this is why it concerns me. If I was your friend I would want to know so I would tell my friend and also tell the director I had told them what I'd seen/heard.

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    I'd tell your friend. Presumably she would also have been told by the centre (biting being something parents are informed of).

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    The parents should have been informed if he bit someone. Definitely an inappropriate way to deal with the situation! I wouldn't bother with the room leader and just speak directly to the director so she can sort it out as its not a room leaders role to sort out another staff members behaviour and they would simply have to pass it onto the director to deal with anyway.

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    I would want to know if I was your friend.

    I had an issue with a carer once, when my Dd was about the same age. My DD did something not even that wrong and they took her blankie off her and wouldn't give it back and it was nap tons and she had to cry herself to sleep asking for mummy. I still get upset thinking about it.

    I spoke to the carer the next day (she was the one who told me!!!!) and told her never to take her blanket again as that was hers and it was a comfort when mummy wasn't there.

    Talk to the centre director about your concerns.

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    :-( poor kid!

    Personally I would just tell my friend and leave it at that. It's not my child so I wouldn't involve staff in discussion about somebody else's son.

    However if my friend wanted to speak to the director and asked me to share what I had seen as a support/witness type of thing I would definitely do so.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I would want to know if I was your friend.

    I had an issue with a carer once, when my Dd was about the same age. My DD did something not even that wrong and they took her blankie off her and wouldn't give it back and it was nap tons and she had to cry herself to sleep asking for mummy. I still get upset thinking about it.

    I spoke to the carer the next day (she was the one who told me!!!!) and told her never to take her blanket again as that was hers and it was a comfort when mummy wasn't there.

    Talk to the centre director about your concerns.
    Sheesh I can't believe this stuff happens! It's upsetting

    How did she react when you confronted her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    :-( poor kid!

    Personally I would just tell my friend and leave it at that. It's not my child so I wouldn't involve staff in discussion about somebody else's son.

    However if my friend wanted to speak to the director and asked me to share what I had seen as a support/witness type of thing I would definitely do so.
    But out of interest, what if you saw this but it wasn't your friends son?

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Sheesh I can't believe this stuff happens! It's upsetting

    How did she react when you confronted her?
    Awkwardly. "Oh. Ok". I did it nicely and suggested other ways she could discipline DD and I we open to talking about them. It's hard as they're still their carer and you can't go too hard. She just hated my DD1 who is the sweetest thing ever! It was weird. She later cared for DD2 and was fabulous.

    Oh we had been friends on Facebook but after that I was unfriended 😄

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    Thanks everybody. I called my friend and relayed the incident. She was grateful I told her but obviously upset about what had happened. Interestingly, she hadn't received a call about a biting incident. Her little boy had come home quite upset though. She's going to raise it with the room leader at drop off tomorrow and has asked me to speak to them about what I saw. We're both hoping that this is a case of one poorly trained carer and not a centre approach!

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