We bring wine. That way they can choose to use it at the event or keep it as a thank you.
When I say this though I mean it. We have a coeliac in the household and I usually make events gluten free so nothing gets contaminated.
One pet hate though is when I ask people not to bring anything and they bring something (usually with gluten in it) that requires the oven. I'm usually using the oven if I have people over and facilitating this is a hassle.
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09-03-2016 16:00 #51Senior Member
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09-03-2016 16:55 #52Senior Member
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- Feb 2008
Whenever we invite guests for lunch or dinner (or a play date), and they ask what to bring, I always say, "nothing thanks, I've got the food organised." I love entertaining and prefer to do the food myself, but I would hope that they would bring some flowers as a 'thank you' gesture.
We had two kinder families for lunch on Sunday and neither of them came with flowers or drink. I thought that was pretty poor form.
If I'm told not to bring anything, I assume that just means not to worry about bringing food, but I ALWAYS take flowers - ALWAYS.
09-03-2016 17:08 #53
What to bring when you're told not to bring a thing
I can't believe how many people take something to a play date! 😧
Proper lunch or dinner invite, yes take wine/flowers/chocolate. A play date??? Nothing. If somebody comes over I just makes some tea or coffee and offer the mom cookies or something, they usually have their own snack for their child. Likewise when I go over to somebody's house. It's meant to be casual and an opportunity to give each other a bit of a break (cleaning house, chasing rogue toddler in the park, etc), why add stress with expectations like this? To me the 'thank you' is reciprocating the favor/play date. Genuinely never occurred to me to take anything and nobody has ever brought anything to me.
09-03-2016 17:20 #54
I always take something over whether it be playdate, lunch or whatever. Depends on how well I know them it's usually scones or Anzac biscuits for new friends. I will cook fancier stuff for good mates/family.
I've got tomato and feta tartlets ready for tomorrow's morning tea
09-03-2016 17:27 #55
I've been on 4 new play dates since DS started kindy and I have always just bought fruit - until I get to know them I then work out if and what to take or not - 1 mum had a complete afternoon tea buffet set up , another had nothing as she has 4 kids and ran out of time to make something so the fruit was very welcome - personally I always have tons of food and don't like it when people bring things over but I do find it hard not to take something to someone's house ! ( especially if we've just met)
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09-03-2016 17:33 #56
Back to the op I'd probably take some biscuits. In general I take something if it's a new friend but if a close friend says "don't bring a thing" then I embrace the chance to be lazy and expect them to do the same when they come to my place.
09-03-2016 18:08 #57
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09-03-2016 18:35 #58
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09-03-2016 20:37 #59
09-03-2016 20:58 #60
This thread perfectly illustrates how people have different ideas about etiquette - what some consider polite, others consider rude. So I try to give the benefit of the doubt. Whatever my friends bring (or don't bring) is just fine - they're almost certainly doing what they think is best.
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