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  1. #41
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    Exclusion stings and especially so when you're genuinely hurt/surprised you weren't included/invited.

    I also think that with the prevalence of social media and the propensity for people to post their social gatherings and events, 'exclusions' that people would have been ordinarily none the wiser about, much less be privvy to who went or was invited, can become a big problem when you know that you weren't included (and are genuinely hurt/surprised you weren't) and hence the anxiety, over-thinking and questioning of oneself.

    And the flip side to that is that gatherings/events that may not be a big deal or a spontaneous affair, then become a big deal when people wonder why they weren't invited because they saw it on Facey or whatever.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    I know what you mean and understand your view.

    I'm just sad reading these posts... I often take up such invites anyway, then used the opportunity to get to know people better and make friends. Then I get invited because people want to hang out with me (I think!). Likewise, if people are discussing something they did recently and I wasn't invited I will say something like 'that sounds awesome, if there is a free spot / ticket next time I'd love to join you'. I find that often people don't invite someone because they hadn't thought that the person may be interested. Anyway, I don't want to start a debate, just provide some fuel for thought as this approach has helped me widen my friend circle, if it can help others that would be awesome
    This. I have this approach too. Most people very rarely want to intentionally exclude/hurt people.

    IMO accept the invitation even if it appears half hearted. Also the more often people say no or decline events the less likely you are to get invited to others as people assume you won't be interested. I know I definitely stop inviting people after the 3rd decline as I feel they aren't interested in continuing the friendship.

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by lese82 View Post
    I feel I am the same. I have been at this workplace for 3 years and believed I had made genuine friends. It all came to a head when I was excluded from the staff photo at a river cruise for our belated Christmas party. I am currently looking for another job.

    .
    This is awful. How can you be excluded from a staff photo when you're staff? I would be hurt by this.
    As for last minute invitations...I do it. It's never personal...I'm just bad at organising social events...so I say yes to those last minute invitations. It does help widen your circle of friends, and if it doesn't, well at least you tried.


 

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