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  1. #1
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    Default WWYD - excluded from 'friends' social event?

    I wasn't going to post but it's been 24hrs and I'm still upset so thought good to get some perspective.

    We have a couple who we're been friends with for about 7 years. We went to each other's weddings, the boys catch up for beers/footy occasionally and we have a few mutual friends so they are part of our 'group'.. I'm not overly close to the wife but we all get together for special occasions...Or so we thought..

    They came to DH's 40th last month and all was well... Just seen on Facebook that the wife had a birthday event and we didn't even get an invite. It was only bowls but to see photos of our friends and kids celebrating hurt a lot. I feel bad for my DH as I know he's feeling it too.

    I sent a polite message to the wife to ask if I'd done anything and she sent one back to say sorry we weren't I invited, it was last minute and don't take it personally.

    I was excluded as teenager and spiral into self doubt and anxiety when this happens tho and was just wondering what other people do when this happens? How do you cope with the confidence knock? TIA
    Last edited by amiracle4me; 06-03-2016 at 18:28.

  2. #2
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    It happened to me a few times with a group of friends. In the end I just walked away from the group without saying anything. Noone has contacted me to ask me how I am / why they don't see me around anymore so I guess that we weren't as good friends as I thought we were.

    Yes it is incredibly hurtful.

  3. #3
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    Not too long ago, 4 of my friends went camping and didn't invite me. I just write in their Facebook post "where was my invite " and same excuse was it was a last minute decision which I know was a lie because one of my friends would've had to organise time off work.

    They're going camping again next school holidays and already invited us

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (06-03-2016)

  5. #4
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    That has happened a couple of times to me. What I do is invite everyone over to my place for drinks. That way I can get a vibe as to who actually doesn't want me around.

    Sometimes in a group of people it's only one couple you may not click with. But no point throwing away a whole circle of friends for that.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (06-03-2016)

  7. #5
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    I never get invited to anything, ever.
    Even people Im close to do things together and Im excluded, tbh Ive given up on people

  8. #6
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    Yep, it's hurtful. I have a couple of friends here. I've realised over the past 18 months we're not as close as I thought. I've never been invited to their nights out and seeing the pics is a slap in the face. I've backed away a bit and am mostly OK with being "day" friends. But it does still sting when I see they've done something together and didn't think to invite me.

  9. #7
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    Love love love the fact you sent a message and asked. That's the kind of grown up I want to be

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    Albert01  (07-03-2016),amiracle4me  (06-03-2016),binnielici  (07-03-2016),HillDweller  (06-03-2016),Leettieb  (07-03-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (06-03-2016)

  11. #8
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    You've mentioned you're not close with her. And I assume your husband isn't either.

    Maybe she just wanted people she was close with around for her birthday? Sometimes I get an urge to spend time around an old group of school friends and not the current main group of friends hubby and I hang with (basically hubby's friends and their wives - we all get along great). It's got nothing to do with liking it not liking someone.

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    Janesmum123  (06-03-2016)

  13. #9
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    I think you need to let it go for all the reasons VP said.

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    You said you weren't close to her though. I wouldn't think to invite people I'm not close to either?

    You said that your husbands only catch up occasionally too. I honestly think you are reading too much into it.


 

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