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  1. #1
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    Default Normal 4 year old behaviour..

    What is it for you?

    For us we are currently experiencing;

    - an almost complete inability to listen
    - zero restraint eg: DS don't do that - he does it every single time
    - says when asked to listen "I don't want to listen"
    - says the opposite of things eg: shower tonight DS? - no I think a bath
    - when given choice "bath or shower tonight DS?" - "I think no bath or shower tonight"
    - argues with every-flipping-thing! Everything!

    On the bright side tantrums have decreased and when he has them he recovers quite quickly.

  2. #2
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    Hmm I wouldn't be able to say that is abnormal behaviour as such, it just sounds like personality to me. And a very strong one (You have described my almost-3 year old, there)

    My 4 year old has been very compliant and easy going, she at times will "test boundaries" as in, Mummy has said to do this but I will just not do it with a sneaky look on my face. A strong look is all it takes to put the wind in her sails.

    So yeah, maybe just personality differences? He sounds defiant, but then boys can be different too?

  3. #3
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    Sounds normal to me. My 4yo does all of that and more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    What is it for you?

    For us we are currently experiencing;

    - an almost complete inability to listen
    - zero restraint eg: DS don't do that - he does it every single time
    - says when asked to listen "I don't want to listen"
    - says the opposite of things eg: shower tonight DS? - no I think a bath
    - when given choice "bath or shower tonight DS?" - "I think no bath or shower tonight"
    - argues with every-flipping-thing! Everything!

    On the bright side tantrums have decreased and when he has them he recovers quite quickly.
    This is my son to a T! Glad to know it's perfectly normal

  5. #5
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    Yep. Pretty much the same story in our household. Plus some regressing too, wanting to "be a baby" (I'm 9 months preg), and mega tantrums.

  6. #6
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    Yep! That's DD! Argues with everything. Wants the exact opposite of what is being offered.

    She's just turned 4 but has been like this for 6 months! I share your pain.

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    Sounds normal depending on the child. My son who is 4 was nothing like that but my 2nd was and likely my 4th will be (both girls but my 4th is only 2 and a half).

    I don't give choices when my kids are like that. It's not bath or shower it's whatever I tell them. They only get choices when the outcome doesn't matter to me. Or if they can make the choice sensibly.

    Maybe I'm tough but the more unreasonable they are the more I limit those options and reign in their freedom. My eldest was also like this and is now a very reasonable child. There is hope.

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  9. #8
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    My 4yo is actually super good and I barely have to parent her at all. However I think she's the abnormal one, not your DS. I'm sure my DD1 is saving it all up till she's 12 when it will all go to hell.

    I parent my 2yo DD the exact same way and she is NOT super good. So it really does come down to their personality. It's a trade off though. DD2 is always beating up DD1 which I hate, but when we were at a water park she wasn't thrown when the big kids took over the toddler play area and just shoved them out of the way. DD1 would have beat a hasty retreat.

  10. #9
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    Default Normal 4 year old behaviour..

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Sounds normal depending on the child. My son who is 4 was nothing like that but my 2nd was and likely my 4th will be (both girls but my 4th is only 2 and a half).

    I don't give choices when my kids are like that. It's not bath or shower it's whatever I tell them. They only get choices when the outcome doesn't matter to me. Or if they can make the choice sensibly.

    Maybe I'm tough but the more unreasonable they are the more I limit those options and reign in their freedom. My eldest was also like this and is now a very reasonable child. There is hope.
    When did your eldest become more reasonable? Before 5!? If not, maybe conveniently 'forget' to reply to my question! Haha

  11. #10
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    The last 12 months in particular with DD have been horrendous, but she just turned four and I have noticed she is starting to calm down a bit. Generally, has started to be happy to play on her own for awhile too which was something she rarely did.

    I have tried my best to remain consistent with her, but I picked my battles. My god though it's been a battle of wills, at times her bad behaviour as really gotten me down and I have felt traumatised.

    I'm really mindful of the fact due to the massive age gap with her brothers that she is really like an only child with no competition or sharing of attention, I don't want her to be a brat, I think that to myself whenever it seems easier to back down.

    I quite like 5 year olds from memory 😂


 

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