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  1. #41
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    I have 2 children, very different so I parent them differently.
    DD always and still to this day needs to be woken up half an hour earlier, rushing triggers a little beast in her that can make life hell! So at that age before bed she would choose from either outfit a or b, including underwear and socks, and there was no changing in the morning.
    With getting in the car if we were not rushing it was easier, or I would bring a bribe/reward item or snack, and once we were on our way she can play with the item or have a snack.
    I try to be respectful of their feelings at all times, however, while in the midst of a tantrum there is no reasoning, so I walk away and say when you calm down and are able to use your words we will work this out.
    DS will not like DD stop after I walk away so he gets his comfort item and has a time out, sort of, so I'll say I can see your really upset take your dolly and sit here a chill out until your ready to talk. They never get me to do what they want in the midst of a tantrum.
    Realistically with time restraints, and safety in mind sometimes they go nuts and you just don't have time to deal with it, like when you force her into the car seat, try to break the cycle by distracting her, other times it is what it is.

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  3. #42
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    I'm truly baffled by this concept "respectful parenting"? Isn't it just parenting?? Seems like common sense with a label.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm truly baffled by this concept "respectful parenting"? Isn't it just parenting?? Seems like common sense with a label.
    Everything parenting related needs a label these days đŸ˜©

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  7. #44
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    In the midst of a tantrum, I find either removing myself or my child from the situation, so they have alone time, works best. Once they calm down, I go back in and discuss... anything before that just intensifies the situation.

  8. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm truly baffled by this concept "respectful parenting"? Isn't it just parenting?? Seems like common sense with a label.
    Not really, I don't see smacking a child as respecting them. It's still parenting but not respecting the child. Ignoring their feels and preferences isn't respectful anyway, yet a lot of people do that while parenting.

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  10. #46
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    Default Respectfully parenting a threenager

    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    But that's what I mean, the 'respectful parenting' approach doesn't mean we just let them do what they like to avoid a tantrum. Of course I still hold my child's hand to cross a street when he doesn't want to or make him sit in his carseat.
    Every child is going to have a tantrum at some stage no matter how you parent. I was referring to the way we deal with it. I ignore my children's tantrums most of the time. They get NO attention from me. I don't negotiate with them whether I'm allowed to stand or sit during their tantrum or if I am allowed in the room with the door open or closed or if I'm allowed to touch them or talk to them or whatever. If people think that I am disrespectful to my child because of this then so be it.

    I was only telling the op how I deal with tantrums in my house and that generally it is successful with very few tantrums that don't last long at all.

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  12. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    Not really, I don't see smacking a child as respecting them. It's still parenting but not respecting the child. Ignoring their feels and preferences isn't respectful anyway, yet a lot of people do that while parenting.
    I don't see smacking as common sense parenting. Smacking is so far from my parenting style. Maybe common sense parenting is too subjective to get my point across. I respect my children's feelings and preferences but only to the degree they can be accommodated within a large family and in a safe environment. That to me is common sense.

  13. #48
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm truly baffled by this concept "respectful parenting"? Isn't it just parenting?? Seems like common sense with a label.
    Surely you've been around long enough to not be baffled by this term?

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    Default Respectfully parenting a threenager

    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Surely you've been around long enough to not be baffled by this term?
    Nope. Maybe because I have 4 kids I don't read parenting books or blogs anymore. I don't have time. I honestly had never heard of it before the last time it came up on here a couple of weeks ago. My parenting is more adaptive nowadays. It has to be.

    ETA I would hope I parent respectfully. In the same way I treat my friends and colleagues at work respectfully. But when my son runs out in front of a car like he did this morning after refusing to hold my hand no I'm probably not as respectful as I'd like to be.

    I know what respectful means. And I know how to parent. I wasn't aware that it was a parenting concept as such.
    Last edited by Sonja; 04-03-2016 at 20:52.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I'm truly baffled by this concept "respectful parenting"? Isn't it just parenting?? Seems like common sense with a label.
    What really ticks me are labels that insinuate someone who does things differently isn't a good parent.

    What's the opposite of respectful? Disrespectful. ...

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