Thanks for all the replies. I think the comment about me still getting them if she died was meant as a joke, probably because she knew I might be upset and was trying to lighten the mood. She has told me before that she wants me to have them if she dies. It's not the first time it's come up.
When she first asked me, she specifically said she knows I'm not religious but she didn't care. Her husband is also not religious and apparently the new godparents are someone she's known forever and her partner so I don't think her husband had any input.
As much as I'm not religious, I grew up in the catholic church and I'm not anti-religion so I still would have done everything she wanted me to as a god parent.
I guess it's not so much about not being chosen, really. It's more the fact that she asked and then took it away. And made a crap excuse. I guess I feel rejected because I'm the one who is always around, who actually knows her daughter and babysits all the time and sees them every week, and she's decided I'm not the one she wants to choose as a special person in her child's upbringing. Well, unless she dies.
I don't know if I'll say anything. I kind of feel like that moment has passed. I was too shocked to say anything at the time and she changed the subject quickly. I don't know how to bring it up again now.
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03-03-2016 21:15 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
03-03-2016 21:33 #22
DH and I have been asked by 2 sets of friends to be god parents of their kids. One made it clear that we would be written into their will should they both pass away at the same time and that we would be caring for the child + financially compensated. The other was instead wanting their child to have mentoring and guidance in life for their child but not a care type situation (another family member was chosen for that role). Not judging but I do find the whole thing a bit of a potential mine field and you'd want to make sure you were clear with those involved what your expectations were from the outset!
03-03-2016 21:59 #23
Big difference between god parents and guardians. God parents are supposed to ensure their God children stay close to the church once the parents die. Guardians will actually raise the children.
We've actually turned down being God parents on the basis we're atheists. Don't see the point really. None of our kids have them but they do have a guardian.
03-03-2016 22:28 #24
03-03-2016 22:40 #25
We have close friends who would always perform that role without a formal title.
I find this quite interesting as if you're not religious and neither are the parents I can't see what the point is in calling a friend a "god parent". My understanding is it's a role that only exists through christening or baptism. I may be wrong on that.
04-03-2016 00:09 #26
I don't know how I'd define it exactly but I'd say it's sort of like family you choose. If we were religious we would probably expect different things, so I guess it means different things for different people.
To the OP I think it's very odd, and I'd be hurt, does she have an issue with your husband if he is the reason she decide not to have you?
04-03-2016 00:19 #27
Would you be upset by this?
Sorry not being critical of anyone's choice to call them that or to even have God parents. It just hadn't occurred to me that people use that term outside a religious context (hence why DH and I have declined).
Last edited by Sonja; 04-03-2016 at 00:21.
04-03-2016 02:18 #28
04-03-2016 08:12 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
04-03-2016 08:40 #30
I haven't had the best experience with friends the last couple years and I've found if keep excusing bad behavior in no time you become someone's door mat.
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