That sounds like very poor form, I'd be pretty upset about it too and, as delirium said, I'd probably make a passing comment about it so she knew how you felt.
Can I ask a question (of anyone), I'm not at all religious either but I thought god parents were someone you chose who would look after your children if something happened to you. I thought that was their actual role. Is that incorrect? Sorry, don't want to hijack the thread but am just genuinely curious as to what their actual role is, because I think I might have misunderstood. I always thought it was really weird that people chose non-couples because it seemed at odds with what I thought the role actually entailed, it makes more sense if I actually had it wrong all along!
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03-03-2016 17:12 #11
03-03-2016 17:29 #12
I'd be hurt. How strange of her.
We ended up not agreeing on godparents so my daughter doesn't have any. We have discussed who she would go to if something were to happen to us and have talked to the people we would entrust raising her.
03-03-2016 17:33 #13
03-03-2016 17:45 #14
I have my sister as legal guardian of DD should anything happen to us but two (then) singles as the godparents. We are catholic and see the godparent role as a spiritual/moral guide but not necessarily a legal role. The godparents were chosen as very special people to us and much younger than our generation so that DD might have them around for more of her life (typing that sounds weird but it's a consideration for older parents).
Yes OP I would be very hurt.
03-03-2016 17:51 #15
I'd be hurt and confused. Her comment about you still getting them feels flippant and doesn't make sense when she's making someone else godparent after originally making it seem like you would.
Yep I'd be hurt for sure. Do you feel like you can talk to her about it?
03-03-2016 18:09 #16
I can understand why you'd be upset, but if it were me I wouldn't be. Godparents role is to teach kids about the faith. That's it pretty much, strictly speaking. Legally, who you nominate as guardian in the event if your death is completely separate. So since I'm not religious, I'd be relieved to not be godparent. And I'd be touched that I'm the chosen guardian in the event of death as that means more to me and is much more important.
None of that is meant to invalidate what you're feeling - just explaining why I would prefer guardian over godparent and therefore not be upset.
And I do find it weird that someone who is not religious would even choose to have godparents for their children? (Unless I've misunderstood what you said about her not practicing).
Last edited by MissMuppet; 03-03-2016 at 18:12.
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SSecret Squirrel (03-03-2016)
03-03-2016 18:50 #17
03-03-2016 19:27 #18Senior Member
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I would not be upset about the god parent part, but her apparent flippant remark about getting her kids when she dies is a problem. That is a legal obligation and should be in a will or other document.
03-03-2016 20:22 #19
I've not read any replies but I'd be annoyed too. This is the exact sort of shiz that really gets my back up! I think she's being dishonest with you. As you said if her eldest doesn't have a couple as god parents, her excuse (or I'd call it a lie) isn't a valid one.
As you say there's no issue with her choosing someone else but a. She should have never told you it was you, and b. She should just tell you the truth.
It sounds to me like maybe her husband had a lot to do with it and maybe he would prefer the new chosen god parents to you and someone else (unmarried) or its his friends that are now God parents, but again, no excuse for asking you and it not being you or for giving you a pathetic excuse.
03-03-2016 21:07 #20
Yes it would annoy me big time. Asking someone to be a god parent is a big deal IMO. Suddenly changing her mind is quite hurtful. She should have thought more about and finalised the decision before discussing it with you at all.
Regardless of her reasonings, to ask someone, then later revoke is quite insulting. She clearly didn't think it through.
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