RP, my mum left my dad. I don't blame her for it. I thank her for it. Their relationship was toxic. She still loved him, but it was not healthy for any of us to stay there. She had 3 young children, no income, no family near by, no rental history. One day, she packed a few things into a bag, and called a friend and we left. She hadn't made any plans. We had clothing for a few days, my medication, and that was it. She didn't know what to do, or where to go. Not having these things in place made it harder in the end. You've been given great advice about starting points. You have space and time to organise what you need. My mum didn't get that (she left him when he started to have a manic psychotic break - he didn't know he had a mental illness, and was untreated. He had been treating her appallingly for some time though, and I don't even know most of it).
Your kids will not look back on this and hate you for it. I can say this as someone who has been in your kids shoes. My mum does not regret leaving him. She does regret not leaving sooner. Take this opportunity with both hands and make your kids' lives and your life better. It is in your power to do it. Only you can. Your husband is doing his best to stop you through subtle and overt manipulation. Don't let him.
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27-03-2016 18:52 #261
27-03-2016 19:19 #262
You've been given a fab opportunity to get out. He is leaving overseas, basically that is helping you.
While he is gone you can get so much done quickly and hopefully without much hassle, it's a lifeline a blessing. It might be painful but take that opportunity to get out while he's gone use it to your benefit.
I'd change your number so he can't contact you. It seems he's still trying to control you through text messages and phone calls. Seize contact. Maybe sit tight on a few things if you feel you can't do it yet but once he has gone overseas get everything in motion and take what you can and leave.
Imagine how satisfying it'll be once he gets back from his holiday and you are not in that house anymore, I bet he won't expect it and frankly who cares you will have taken back some control.
He's given you a head start by going overseas almost something nice, I know it's not but it is for you.
27-03-2016 20:13 #263
- he gambles away money that your family needs
- he prefers to spend his time drinking rather than with his family
- he treats you and the kids like sh1t
- he planned a trip overseas FOR HIMSELF and didn't even tell you about it
- he left you without even talking to you and just left you a note like you were a one night stand
The most important point:
- HE DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY
28-03-2016 15:49 #264
Looking at going to Centrelink tomorrow. ..does anyone know what documents I need to supply. ..???
28-03-2016 15:54 #265Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
28-03-2016 15:54 #266
That's all ?
28-03-2016 15:55 #267
I was thinking I may call in tomorrow before OR after work ...
28-03-2016 15:58 #268Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
Hi RuffledPansy, if you can, take yr photo ID, licence, passport, medicare card, mail with yr name and address on it, also whatever docs you can gather for yr kids, eg birth certs. Attending Centrelink can be frustrating and sometimes you will be told to go away and collect further documents, which can feel like its impossible!! But you need to keep going. Even if they say it has to be done online, insist on someone helping you in branch. Dont take no for an answer. If yr kids are already registered for before and after school care rebates, take their centrelink numbers. Also, take bank account numbers. Might be a good idea to open a savings acct in your name to use, rather than a joint account. Just go to any bank nearby. Good on you and good luck!!
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28-03-2016 16:00 #269
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28-03-2016 16:03 #270
I would also suggest any financial statements like group certificates but I don't know for sure
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