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  1. #1
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    Default How to decide whether to try for number 2

    I know this topic has probably been done before, but how do you decide whether or not to try for a second baby?

    We have a 1yr old DS. We would need IVF to have another baby, and I'm not getting any younger (38), so no guarantees we'd be successful. We need to decide soon whether to try for number 2! I keep umming and ahhing about it.

    How did you decide whether or not to try for another baby?

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    I regret number two. I know I shouldn't say that out loud.

    Maybe it's because my age gap is so close (ten months). But I'm exhausted ALL the time. I felt I haven't had a chance to bond with each child.

    If I had my chance again I would have a 5 year age gap and I know your older so I would go ahead if you need to do IVF.

  3. #3
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    It wasn't ever a consideration for us. We were always going to have at least two. We have a three year gap and I think it's pretty good. I see 2 year gaps and they seem much harder, but awesome in other ways.

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    For us it wasn't a matter of if but when. My partner longs for a big family as he has none of his own.

    I say go for it.

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    We wanted around a 2yr gap but unfortunate events lead to a 3yr7mth gap & ivf needed. Then theres a 2yr 10mth gap between #2 & #3. I reckon just go for it. Years later once you're finished having babies it wont be about the 2yr/3yr/4yr gap, it'll just be your family and it'll be just right

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  7. #6
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    Default How to decide whether to try for number 2

    I never really thought about it, knew I wanted 2 and had 2 years in my head as that seemed to be what people did. I got pg literally the day after my implanon came out and ended up with a 21 month age gap which has been perfect.
    Last edited by NoteToSelf; 27-02-2016 at 19:32.

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    For us, it wasn't until our daughter was about 2.5 that we decided that we would have another, and would start trying when our daughter was 2 years and 7 months so if we fell pregnant straight away, our daughter would be 3.5 when bub was born. I didn't want any smaller age gap than that because I really don't enjoy the sleepless nights / constant neediness of babies so wanted to have a big rest before I went back to it again. We've been trying for 3 months and no luck yet so can't tell you what the gap will be like! But my daughter is super independent and really doesn't need much looking after so I am happy with waiting and not having a small gap.

    I read once that the baby / child years are short but their adult lives are long. So don't worry about how hard the baby years will be but think about who you want with you at Christmas, birthdays, how many kids you hope to be visiting you regularly when you're old.

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    We had dd1 - natural and then needed IVF. It ended up being a 5 year age gap between dd1 & dd2 (which was awesome in lots of ways - ie: self sufficient and helpful #1), we ended up with 3 (ds1 was born when dd1 was 7 and dd2 was 2) and the smaller age gap was harder - but age was a factor for #3. Glad we got to experience all 3. Bigger age gap = more years of sleep deprivation though... 😅 if i had my time again I would have them closer together - but thats me ☺

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    We always knew we wanted at least 2 so just had to decide when. We have almost exactly 2.5 years between DD and DS and so far I like the age gap. We have had a 'rest' between babies but hopefully our kids will be close enough to play with each other. DD at 2.5 is a relatively easy child - toilet trained, sleeps through, has good language skills so we are over the tantrum phase. She has been a little jealous of DS but I guess that is to be expected. I say if you're thinking of a second go for it!

  13. #10
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    I'm currently undecided about ttc #2. We did start ttc once my DD was 1, but 2 miscarriages and 2 years later, I'm now not sure if I want another. We also need to look at going through IVF and I'm only a year younger than you, so time is ticking away. My head is so torn about ttc. I'm not sure if I want another bub that much that I'm prepared to put myself through IVF as I'm already in enough pain with endo and adenomyosis.


 

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