@sunny79 It can be so hard to stay positive, particularly after a miscarriage. Sometimes I think I can't imagine being lucky enough to get pregnant on 2 transfers in a row & that makes me sad about my miscarriage & what was never to be....but also why am I doing this if I don't think it will work. My mantra for getting through it is always - we want another baby & we're doing everything we can to have that baby - for some reason this thought helps me cope & keeps me going. I hope you find a way to regain some positivity but remember we are always here to support you during the ****ty times. Big hugs, xx
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25-03-2016 06:02 #101
25-03-2016 07:09 #102
One of our best friends had so many miscarriages it was truly shattering to even think about, they started IVF, had their embryos tested, all abnormal, told they should prepare for the fact they probably wouldn't have children. By some miracle she got pregnant again naturally and made it past her dreaded miscarriage time, we were all so excited but so worried through the whole pregnancy because she just couldn't let herself be excited because she was so petrified to believe she would actually have her take home baby, which is totally understandable. I hate the toll this takes on us all emotionally when some people just don't realise how lucky they are to just want to have kids, get busy for a few months then bam, pregnant!! So unfair.
I've got that way now that I just expect a negative on my test or for AF to arrive. I hate that this makes us so cynical and jaded.
Sending you both hugs
25-03-2016 10:19 #103Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2015
Thanks for the support MrsSMS, Lovebubs77 and babybeanie. Your poor friend babybeanie, that would have been a terrible time for her - and then feeling guilty she couldn't let herself get excited.
DH and I had a fight last night, with my mind set that was always going to happen.
We talked this morning, he is very supportive. He just can't understand the negativity though, in his eyes the past is past (even though sad), this is a whole new opportunity to embrace, stop worrying about what could go wrong. He says we should be very thankful as there are many others much worse off than us (he's a keeper). He does feel terrible as he feels that it is because of him we are even doing this and can see the toll it is taking on me.
You ladies all make perfect sense and I appreciate the support. It is a bumpy road, I think I was shocked that the sadness was actually brought on by the transfer. Had been fine until it was done and they said I must be in for some good luck soon and wished me the best. My ivf team are lovely, it wasn't their fault, something in my mind just clicked and I wanted to cry.
I feel like I grieved this transfer last night, have now put up a big emotional wall and moving on to what project I can do for Easter. Doing something useful instead of sulking is exactly what I need to do. Whatever will be will be. None of us can change that now! Thank you for all being such strong ladies, I can do this, deep breaths. Xxxxx
27-03-2016 08:44 #104
I think also it's hard for them to get it like we do. Don't get me wrong, the feel it and go through the emotion but it's our bodies that go through it, and with a mc it's us that have already made that connection to our baby. My SIL said something to me once after my mc- it's not just grieving for the loss of a child, it's for the loss of all the dreams and hopes you had for that child. Wether it was subconsciously or not, you'd already started making plans and adjustments for that child to come into your family. That isn't easy to get over and by you feeling the grief so badly on the night of this transfer, you are letting all that go already as your brain is trying to prepare you incase it happens again. It's your natural way of coping. Everyone does it differently and this is just what your brain is telling you is your way.
Hope you're doing okay and not beating yourself up over this *hugs*
14-04-2016 09:49 #105
14-04-2016 19:10 #106
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14-04-2016 21:08 #107Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2015
Hi MrsSMS and babybeanie. I have been having a little break. My emails advised me I had been mentioned!
I am going ok. It was a bfn again.
This one has hit me hard. Still contemplating what to do with the last embryo. I just don't want to transfer another untested embryo but the thought of doing another stim! 😖
How are you MrsSMS?
Do you have a date for stim babybeanie?
15-04-2016 20:21 #108
Waiting on AF, stim then test/freeze all. Haven't decided on the immune protocol yet. Don't have the energy to catch up on the other thread. And all the bfp make me want to cry.
15-04-2016 22:06 #109
Hello @sunny79 & @babybeanie. Just wanted to let you know I've miscarried again. It's been a really tough week & I think I'm going to take a few months off before I do another stim cycle. We're seeing FS on Monday so hopefully he'll have some ideas because I don't know how many cycles I've got left in me. Thinking of you both & hoping all of our luck changes soon, xx
The Following User Says Thank You to Lovebubs77 For This Useful Post:
16-04-2016 10:48 #110
Oh honey. I'm so sorry @Lovebubs77. I can't imagine how you're feeling. I remember being shattered after my miscarriage but as it was my very first IVF cycle I don't think I had it as bad, I was just expecting something after that would work. 8 years and multiple failed attempts later I think I'd understand how hard it actually is if it happened now. And with your previous bad luck now this I'm sending you massive hugs.
Forgive me, I can't remember if you already have one at home?? Sunny and I are both the same age, I feel like you two get just how heartbreaking it is to be getting to yours and our age and continuing to have no success with IVF.
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