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24-02-2016 12:53 #51
smoking teenager - WWYD?
24-02-2016 13:23 #52
Honestly at 16 I would be shocked if hadn't tried a drink, lied to you about drinking etc etc.
I don't WANT my girls to drink or smoke etc but chances are by the time they are teens they will, I will not supply them with drinks / smokes but chances are someone else will. This has been happening since forever. My parents snuck out and drank / did things they weren't supposed to and so did I and my sister.
We are all well adjusted and healthy / happy adults though.
The one thing I will be telling my girls is that if they EVER need to come home and are drunk etc never get into a car with a drunk driver, someone they don't know well, try to walk home etc - they can call me at anytime of the day or night and I will come and get them no questions asked. We WILL talk about it the next day.
24-02-2016 15:35 #53
It comes down to would you prefer to know they were doing it, and you could monitor it, or they were really good at hiding it and possibly got in trouble?
Obviously the highest preference would be them not doing it until 18, but...
And yes, I recall reading that study by Sigman, and his main focus is actually how kids under 15 should not be allowed near alcohol.
Here is his 'fact' pdf if anyone else is interested: http://www.aricsigman.com/IMAGES/Alcohol.pdf
He did also go on to say he believed noone should drink until 24+, because it can hinder brain development. Can. He believes.
Yes, it's fact alcohol CAN hinder brain development, we know this. But he admits its his belief and opinion- granted an educated one.
The reason he did his study is because in some places a 5 year old, or older, can legally consume alcohol with parent supervision on private property.
Now, I am completely against that. But I think 15+ is a hugely different ballgame.
Anyway, as I said, completely your call. I mainly wanted to point out that it's about open communication, and that it's not actually illegal to consume alcohol under 18 (in certain conditions).
24-02-2016 15:38 #54
24-02-2016 18:47 #55Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Wow! Id be so angry at another mother supplying my teenager with alcohol? What's her purpose? She must be trying to be the 'cool' mum.
I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said, but smoking (and drinking) as a teenager isn't the end of the world. We obviously don't want our kids to do it, but it doesn't necessarily mean he's going down the wrong path. Smoking is much worse than drinking IMO, as it's addictive (and I know drinking can be too, but it's much less common).
Just as a bit of reassurance. I smoked and drank as a teenager. I also smoked pot and tried another drug once. I am a well-educated, level-headed, intelligent person (even if I do say so myself). It's often just a teenage rebellion thing, with a dose of peer pressure on the side. I am sure you've raised a very respectable young man, regardless of this.
24-02-2016 19:29 #56
Anyone that supplies my children with alcohol would get a official visit from the police.
24-02-2016 19:44 #57
If i knew without a doubt who the parent was I would be calling the police.
I dont have anything against letting my own child have a glass of wine or something on the very odd occasion in my home but I do not agree with providing other children with alcohol
24-02-2016 21:27 #58
while I might consider allowing my daughter to drink in my home earlier than 18 - any friends who drink here will ONLY do so after ME having a discussion with the parent.
Allowing your own child to do something is one thing ... allowing everyone elses is just not on.
@Clarabelle - best wishes. I do hope that you continue to discuss things with your son, now that the hotter and harder emotions have passed. As he grows - and goes through the rebellions and mistakes that teenagers inevitably do - he needs to know that you will be there. That you will hold him accountable for mistakes, but that no matter what .. you support him and will be there. Whenever.
Its a hard thing.
25-02-2016 07:31 #59Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2015
I had a relative who took his teenage kids who started smoking to the cancer ward at the hospital to show them the long term health consequences of smoking...
They stopped pretty quick
25-02-2016 07:35 #60
smoking teenager - WWYD?
Trying not to derail the thread but is it even allowed to take kids to the hospital to show them these things?
As a patient I would be MORTIFIED if someone brought their kid in to look at me as an example of what not to do with your life. Besides, how would you even know what cancer is lifestyle related or not?
I certainly wouldn't consent to this and I'm surprised if it's allowed due to privacy/confidentially.
As if my own suffering wasn't enough. How humiliating.
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