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  1. #1
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    Default smoking teenager - WWYD?

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    Last edited by Clarabelle; 25-02-2016 at 21:28.

  2. #2
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    I haven't faced this yet but I was a sensible teen who smoked.

    My advice. Tell him you know. Tell him you're very disappointed. Don't tell him how you know. He's old enough that if he wants to do it he'll do it anyway.

    Knowing my parents knew and were disappointed in me was a huge disincentive to continue.

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    Thanks Sonja - do you think it's probably a peer thing? Why did you smoke, if you don't mind me asking? I'm trying to understand this, it's scared me.

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    I actually just thougth he was too smart for this. Seems I was very wrong

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I haven't faced this yet but I was a sensible teen who smoked.

    My advice. Tell him you know. Tell him you're very disappointed. Don't tell him how you know. He's old enough that if he wants to do it he'll do it anyway.

    Knowing my parents knew and were disappointed in me was a huge disincentive to continue.
    I was the same as Sonja and I agree with what she has written here.

    I found out my parents knew and were very disappointed. I found this alone mortifying, I didn't stop altogether but I smoked a lot less.

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    Last edited by Clarabelle; 25-02-2016 at 21:28.

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    Default smoking teenager - WWYD?

    Definitely a peer thing. And also my sister who was 2 years older than me and who I looked up to smoked. It just seemed at the time like a right of passage all my friends went through.

    To put it in context though this was in the 1980s and smoking was prevalent. It was advertised and seen as "cool".

    I'll be honest I'd struggle as well. My eldest is nearly 11 and she hates smoking with a passion but I worry she'll change.

    Is he interested in or does he play sport? I'm told by friends that if kids play sport they are less likely to smoke and coaches can talk to them about the impact on their playing if they do smoke.
    Last edited by Sonja; 23-02-2016 at 13:02.

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    Default smoking teenager - WWYD?

    Try not to catastrophise this. I smoked, and drank (started when I was 13) and went on to have very healthy relationships and have a very normal relationship with alcohol. And I have alcoholics in my family.

    I would try and not be angry. Tell him you're disappointed. Sadly he's not breaking any laws so unless he's buying the cigarettes he's not breaking any laws.
    Last edited by Sonja; 23-02-2016 at 13:05.

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    My children are quite a fair way off being teenagers, but I would throw a major fit. I would over-react massively! I would drag him into the nearest Respiratory Ward and give him a guided tour of the coughing, extreme shortness of breath, wheezing, sputum, blue skin, oxygen tanks, etc. And then the Palliative Care Ward for the cancer, etc...well you get my point.

    I am certainly not saying this is the right thing to do by any means. But I would have a hard time controlling my anger.

    The difference between now and the 1980s is the advertising...I'm sure many of us remember the "Benson and Hedges" ads at the cricket, and the very pervasive marketing that did, indeed, make smoking look cool. But these days there is rightfully nothing, and the very disgusting and graphic images on cigarette packets are far from appealing. So I just don't get how anyone could think it is cool these days. Nauseating, certainly.

    I would probably withdraw all privileges. I'm of the "you live in my house, you play by my rules" camp. I would certainly lose my shiz.

    Disclaimer: my kids are 5 and 2

    Sent from my SM-N910G using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I watched both my grandparents die of smoking related illnesses and I still smoked.

    I get what your saying but to a teenager that's 60 years away. They think they're bullet proof. Their minds aren't developed so they don't join the dots and make the connections.

    Don't get me wrong I'll be angry. But I know anger tends to drive my kids away from me.

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