I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my first child after going through infertility.
I have made it clear to family already (given the shortage in privatised vaccines) that no vax no visit applies in our house.
Hubby has two older kids both of which aren't vaccinated for whooping cough which would normally be around when Bub is born (one is 20 and comes and goes and stays with us whenever he wishes as he doesn't live far from us and often needs to raid the fridge haha and the other one who is 16 comes in school holidays when Bub would be due).
I tried to sort out for the older one to get vaxxed at my friends clinic near his work (me paying for it as he earns very little money) but that didn't sit well with his mother for whatever reason. So I am obviously concerned that neither of his kids will be vaxxed in the end of the day although I can't be certain yet. Regardless of their vaccination status hubby wants them to visit which I do understand and I would love them to as I love his kids too knowing them for over 10 years now. They are also very excited. However I refuse to make an exception to the no vax no visit rule and hubby thinks I am in the wrong.
I am just concerned about my child especially after finding out that the child of my step grandmother died on whooping cough as an infant which is my step fathers twin.
How would you go about it?
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17-02-2016 08:11 #1
No vax No visit?
17-02-2016 08:25 #2
No vax No visit?
Stick to your guns. I did it when DS2 was born, DS1 who was then 17 had his booster as did my husband and all
my family members (o had mine whilst pregnant and will have another booster with belly babe). My in-laws kept refusing even though we said we would pay. They caved in about a week after he was born and I had held firm.
This is a matter of life or death - it's serious. Given the ages of the kids I'm not sure how their mum factors in. The 20 year old can clearly make up his own mind and the 16 year old is also entitled to make his own medical decisions!
17-02-2016 08:26 #3
Reiterate: no vac, no visit, no exceptions.
At 16 and 20 you're old enough to understand consequences and make informed decisions. Talk to the kids and explain that it's a deadly illness and that you're happy to both organise and pay for the immunisations so that they can come see their sibling as soon as possible.
As for your husband, well honestly. I won't go into his stupidity, but if he's willing to sacrifice the health and possible life of his unborn child there really is no excuse. Are we all forgetting about poor Riley? How many babies have to die before we take whooping cough seriously. Tell your husband they get the immunisations or they don't come near the baby. End of story. Not debatable.
17-02-2016 08:37 #4
I totally understand where you're coming from hun, especially after going through infertility, this baby is extremely precious to you. Don't back down. Whooping cough cases are increasing at the moment, you just can't take a chance. I think it's pretty poor on your hubby's part to not support you.
Honestly i went through the same thing with ds1 but with the inlaws. Fil kept refusing then had the nerve to say he'd gotten the flu shot and that was good enough. I refused to let them see bub til after they were vaxxed. Dh tried to argue with me until i made him watch a baby with whooping cough video and how awful it really is.
17-02-2016 08:42 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2009
The 16yr old should have it in school, depending what state I suppose but I thought it was all students Australia wide? My son got it in yr 10.
Send them the video that Riley's parents put up of him in his last days, I shared that on my Facebook and said no vax no visit! It was aimed at family however I had so many friends that we don't even see that often then inbox me asking if there was anything else they needed to get etc!
It might make them realise how serious it can be.
17-02-2016 08:43 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
I agree with PP, have a chat to the kids about the reasoning behind vaccination, and about how you want to protect your baby by ensuring visitors will be vaccinated, and let them make their own minds up. It's nothing to do with their mother at those ages. Even the 16yo is legally able to make his own medical decisions.
17-02-2016 08:48 #7
They both missed their school vax in high school... The last booster they had when they were 6 or 8 years old as per their records.
17-02-2016 09:01 #8
No vax No visit?
they have to be vaxxed. no ifs or buts. WC is too much of a risk and it's your child so you get to call the shots.
rather stupid but I didn't realise how dangerous WC is until the weekend just gone. we did a baby first aid course and were told when a bub is admitted to hospital with WC, there is no real treatment they can give to make it go away. all they can do is try and manage it as best they can, and if bub can't fight it off, the result is death or some kind of permanent damage.
I wasn't aware of that. hearing that has made me take it twice as seriously now.
it's literally a life or death thing (sorry to sound dramatic) so why put your baby at risk?
it's a simple jab that these kids have to get, I don't see the big deal at all. also the mum has no say over the older one, if he's over 18 he can decide for himself as he's an adult!? the 16 year old might be a bit harder but honestly, that's just awful that the mum is being pig headed about this and saying no. its to protect a little innocent baby, why would you not just do it!?
17-02-2016 09:02 #9Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2015
Yeah, stick to your guns. They are both old enough to take themselves and get vaxxed. Maybe the mother didn't like the idea of you paying for it. I suggest just speaking to them yourself, be honest you want them to be around and getting their hands dirty in diapers but you'd really appreciate them getting a tiny needle to protect their new step sibling.
If they refuse after that, its been made clear to you their stance. And your job is to protect the baby, so thats tough luck. DH needs to stick to your side and encourage his kids to do this.
I have a firm no vax no visit policy, as did my sister, and those who chose not to participate missed out on the first 2/3 months or something. Tough luck.
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17-02-2016 09:05 #10
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