Hi, I am seriously contemplating a third child but I need to make this decision fairly quickly as I am 41 turning 42 later this year.
I have an 11 year old and and 8 year old and I have never felt "done".
I am in reasonably good shape, no known health problems, normal periods while taking the pill.
Crazy but I'm worried this new child would resent having an 'old' mum. I think I look ok for my age, I'm active and I still feel 31!
I would love to hear from anyone who has had a baby 40+ especially a second or third. Or anyone who has an 'older' mum.
Also welcome are any opinions telling me I'm not mad 😬
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16-02-2016 15:46 #1
Baby at 42?
16-02-2016 15:55 #2
I am 38 and 37 weeks with my 3rd bub. I never thought I would be having more, but so be it lol. This is my partner's first and we might contemplate another in a couple of years maybe. I suppose you are only limited by your menstrual cycle, but if you are still getting regular periods, go for it. Women seem to be having babies older these days anyway. And as we are older, the doctors will monitor you. I have an 11 year old as well and a 9 year old.
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16-02-2016 16:00 #3
You're not mad!
And whilst I have no kids myself yet (please work, IVF) my Mother had her fourth child at 45 years of age.
Before you ask, yes, it was a natural conception! And as my parents say, it was a 'pleasant surprise', not a 'mistake!'
My youngest sister is now 29 years old. She has a one year old daughter and my parents are 75 years old and are very involved with their Grandchildren (8 all told.)
I say, if you feel like you're not done - try for a third It might not happen as quickly as your first two but you have nothing to lose in trying hon.
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16-02-2016 16:01 #4Senior Member
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- Jan 2013
I had a baby in September 2015 and turned 43 the week after. It's my tenth pregnancy during eight years of trying and my first take home baby so I have nothing else to compare it to personally. I am the Aunty and great Aunty to many though, my first nephew was born when I was 15 and I have baby sat over night/multiple nights.
It's tough but I don't think it's any tougher than it would have been if I was younger. I am conscious that the tough times won't be for ever and my little boy won't be a baby forever which helps. As a mother already, I can imagine you would have this covered as well.
I was lucky enough for him to have been a natural pregnancy. Because of my previous losses I was heavily monitored by an obstetrician Fertilty specialist and my gp and was on progesterone and prednisone in the first trimester, if you have no issues I doubt this would be the case for you. I also got GD later in the pregnancy but was able to control it. I also chose to have NIPT in the first trimester instead of cvs/amnio which came back fine.
Women our age are having babies and it is more common seeing them around. It may be harder to fall pregnant at our age though and may not happen or you may need help to get there. If you want another, go ahead! My husband and I will be trying for a second from April, my doctors think I can do it but warned not to put it off.
Happy to chat, good luck to us both! 😀
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16-02-2016 16:08 #5
Baby at 42?
My mum had my brother at 40. He was the fifth. He was a natural conception (and actually a mistake!). She had no problems in pregnancy or delivery. She's 55 now but we never considered her an 'old' mum. She certainly hasn't ever acted old lol
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16-02-2016 16:12 #6
Go for it. Your not crazy. Im 37 and have fertility probs...natural conception at 31 and my son is now 5. I thought I'd stop trying at 40...but I'm leaving it open as i know my fertility will naturally decline as i get older especially with pcos.
Do it. Don't regret not doing it especially as your fertile.
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16-02-2016 16:17 #7
I an 42 and pregnant with number 3. I'll be 43 when he is born. This baby was a complete and total surprise natural conception. DS2 was 4 long years of IVF and born when I was 39. I understand what you are saying and will warn you being pregnant when you are older is a very different world from when you are younger (my first son I fell pregnant at 21). There is a lot more monitoring from doctors. Like a pp I also had NIPT (which came back clear) because we were worried about chromosomal issues.
I do worry about my age, for both this baby and DS2. So I understand that fear. But honestly as an older mum I bring different things into DS2 (and eventually belly babe) life than I did for DS1. Sure I had unlimited energy for DS1. But I was also not financially secure and not as patient as I should have been at times.
For DS2 ok so I get tired and the sleep deprivation deserved its own level in h*ll. But I am financially secure and far more patient and tolerant.
All the best and I hope it happens naturally for you.
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16-02-2016 19:27 #8
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16-02-2016 19:29 #9
Thanks so much for the replies you have really given me some hope that I can do this 💗
16-02-2016 19:29 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
Thanks Foxy! I hope things go well for you too! Baby dust all round 🍼
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