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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by TreeGirl View Post
    The "OP's DD"? And who else's? When does the OP get her wind down time? I just can't comprehend that attitude.
    Oh apologies for not saying their daughter however I was writing about her and not mine or yours!

  2. #32
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    Default Pregnant, DH not as supportive second time around

    OP, I would be upset at your partners comments too.

    Whether you have an 'easy' pregnancy or not you are still heavily pregnant with a small child to look after. That is hard work. And how does your partner know other women are coping at work? Maybe they go home and collapse, absolutely exhausted and have a whinge to their partners and ask for foot rubs

    It actually really annoys me when people go on about pregnant woman 'not being sick' and should just get on with everything as per normal. No we do not have a disease, and yes, pregnancy is a wonderful thing humans have done since the beginning of time ...but it can make you feel wretched sometimes and at the end of the day we are growing little people. Even the 'easiest' pregnancy comes with a huge amount of bodily changes. You aren't asking for the world...just a little support and care.

    For me this pregnancy has involved severe morning sickness requiring hospitalisation, SPD, weeks of bed rest for bleeding, Narrowly avoiding a cerclage and multiple hospital admissions. I have felt bloody awful. I have had to stop working full time. And I am only 19 weeks!!! DH and I are not really foot rub people but if he implied I should be handling my pregnancy better I would probably slap him

    You are doing a fantastic job OP, and a very important one. I think you deserve a little TLC.
    Last edited by Patience86; 16-02-2016 at 22:45.

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  4. #33
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    Op, definitely not asking to much. Your dh is being a d!ck. You're carrying his child...asking for some TLC and for him to help more is not a crime. Hope he pulls his finger out.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    Hmm… I'd have to disagree with this, did you guys have really easy pregnancies? If someone were to have some of the symptoms of pregnancy without being pregnant we'd certainly consider them to be quite sick and in need of some extra care!
    Like vomiting all day, changes in blood pressure, SPD (which is massively painful and reduces mobility)…

    OP, I think making comments about how other women at work cope is not very fair or realistic, looking after a 3 year old is bloody hard!
    And the foot rub thing… I'd be really annoyed if my DH said that and refused, but I'd also offer to give him one too.
    My 3rd pregnancy certainly wasn't easy with a irritable uterus, extreme low blood pressure episodes, working fulltime until having an accident hurting my back at 32 weeks and looking after 2 other children but I got on with it knowing it would soon be over.

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by BabyG4 View Post
    Oh apologies for not saying their daughter however I was writing about her and not mine or yours!
    That's ok- I interpreted it that way because I was already grumpy about the topic lol!

  8. #36
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    Men will never understand the pains or discomfort of being pregnant or giving birth. My DP helps out a lot around the house and thankfully my girls are somewhat older this time around (i am 37 weeks). My children are 9 and 11. I was a defence spouse when my kids were born, so I had to deal with a toddler a lot on my own. Being pregnant is tough and some of your husband's comments are unnecessary. You didn't get pregnant on your own, but it is good that he bathes and feeds your DD. Maybe a couple of days in daycare would give you a break?

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  10. #37
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    Default Pregnant, DH not as supportive second time around

    I don't think you're asking too much at all. You've got it tough, I'm having a ****ty pregnancy and I don't even have a toddler to run around after so I really feel for you.

    It surprises me when I hear people praising their (or others) DP for doing the bare minimum eg: working and caring for their own child in the evening. My DP works full time, comes home and walks the dogs (because I can't manage the two of them anymore). We do 50/50 cooking and cleaning and grocery shops. I also get back and foot rubs because my feet are the size of tree stumps and she wants to help me. That's what a considerate loving partner does.

    People seriously have low standards in what to expect out of an equal relationship. Can you find a way to delegate DP some extra jobs to lighten the load? And book yourself in for a massage. You deserve it and if DP won't give you one go get it from someone else x
    Last edited by A&S; 17-02-2016 at 01:31.

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  12. #38
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    I have been a stay at home for 6 pregnancies.
    In your position I would just tell him the truth. That you are finding it hard. That every pregnancy is different. That he is your partner. He is supposed to be your soft place to fall. He is meant to be the person who cares about you most. That if your in pain it's his role as a caring partner to Want to help. That his response is hurting your relationship (if it is) that you feel unsupported.

    Than remind him that he is a parent that going to work does negate that. That his children needs him. That his children deserves his time. That by taking on a more hands on role now will help him if you need a extended hospital stay for some unknown reason.

    This is just a example. You need to put into how you feel.

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