I also agree with a PP to stop cooking dinner a couple of nights a week. You will also save money this way too!
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16-02-2016 13:59 #11
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Mama Mirabelle (16-02-2016)
16-02-2016 14:16 #12
OP will your DD attend kindy at some point?
16-02-2016 18:02 #13
I think your hubby is doing a great job helping out where he can after work.
I have to say with all my pregnancies I've never actually asked for a foot rub EVER just not something I'd expect my hubby to do for me. Or even at my lowest point have I ever asked him home early from his paid job even when my waters broke I felt bad ringing him as it puts off loads of people for him to drop what he is doing.
On the other hand understanding if dinner is not ready when he gets home or if he has to stop by the shops on his way home or being fine that the house didn't get vacuumed etc today because you took a nap is just a given he should understand that
16-02-2016 18:38 #14
Like vomiting all day, changes in blood pressure, SPD (which is massively painful and reduces mobility)…
OP, I think making comments about how other women at work cope is not very fair or realistic, looking after a 3 year old is bloody hard!
And the foot rub thing… I'd be really annoyed if my DH said that and refused, but I'd also offer to give him one too.
16-02-2016 19:27 #15
To be fair @deku we all said it was easier to work than be at home with a 3 year old.
The OP didn't indicate anything to think her pregnancy was extremely difficult. Sounded just like the usual (but uncomfortable) stuff that comes with being 38 weeks.
16-02-2016 19:50 #16Senior Member
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- Aug 2012
Sometimes BubHub land is a strange place, DH and I always ask each other for back rubs/ foot rubs if we need it, as do my parents, in laws and almost every other couple I know. In any case his grumbling makes no sense because yes if he asks I will rub his feet or back for him and have many times.
16-02-2016 19:52 #17
I think my head is about to explode at some of the comments about the OP's DP being justified in not giving her a massage/rub at 38 flipping 😉 (best alternative word I could come up with!) weeks pregnant because 'he never gets one'. Come on ladies, are you kidding me? The OP is a sahm to a toddler, 38 weeks pregnant, and her DP is the flipping father of the year for 'helping her out a bit after a long day at work'. What has she been doing? Twiddling her flipping fingers? Gah!
Look, it's not uncommon that the second pregnancy may see the partner be less hands on in supporting the mother than the first time around. However, in the OP's case, dad sounds like he's being a bit of a knob (sorry OP, I'm sure he's lovely in other ways... But his behaviour here is a bit, well, knob-ish!!)
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16-02-2016 19:54 #18
At the end of the day if you feel a bit taken for granted then that's all that matters.
16-02-2016 19:59 #19
At the risk of being unpopular, the idea that dad is "helping out" after work by caring for his own child is ridiculous. That's called parenting.
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16-02-2016 20:03 #20-
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- Apr 2012
Hey OP I haven't read any replies yet.
At 8 months pregnant you are totally within your rights to expect a little more support as well as love and affection. Just make sure you are crystal clear about your needs (in a non accusatory way) as Men aren't mind readers.
Here's how a conversation would go in my house if my DH was like your hubby:
Me: "hey Hun, I'm feeling tired and sick. With something the size of a watermelon squishing my guts I'm
Finding it difficult to breathe let alone look after DD and do the cooking and cleaning each day. Until I'm feeling better could I ask for you to help with cleaning up the dinner dishes each night? That would be such a BIG help."
DH: "women at work manage while pregnant why can't you."
Me: "Its a physical thing. It's much easier to sit at a desk all day than to waddle around chasing a toddler with a Watermelon squishing your guts."
DH: "you should be able to cope."
Me: "well **** nuts. Thanks for supporting your heavily pregnant wife! You can cook your own damn dinner until such a time as I don't feel like ****. Cheers!"
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