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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014

    Unhappy Child care guilt

    Not sure where to post this really, but here it goes.

    Today marks the end of the second week of my 4 month old being in child care. She goes in about 6:45am and I pick her up around 5:30ish at night - thats after leaving work 20 minutes early to make sure I get there before they close.

    Up until now, I have been totally fine with this, but in the last day or 2, I have been getting really down about it. I miss her so much. To the point where I want to cry.

    There's no way around this situation. Can't really afford to be a stay at home mum, and so far I have failed to find a job closer to home (for those who know the perth area, I live in Kelmscott, and I work in Mount Hawthorn. Big commute).

    I don't know what to do. I need to turn off these guilty feelings before they consume me.

  2. #2
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Big hugs. I've been where you are. I am where you are right now, although my son is 3.5ish. He first started cc at 14 months.

    This morning in the car he said 'why does mummy work instead of playing with me?' Today he had six 'accidents'. I think he's acting out since I went back to work after the summer holidays.

    I know it's hard, but all I can do is separate my head and heart. I have no choice but to work full time. This is the life we have. I do my best to get to cc ten minutes early and read a book with him, tell him I love him a bajillion times a day and that I think about him all the time when I'm at work.

    If you're happy with your DD's cc then you know she is safe and in good hands. Many positives come out of cc as well - independence, social skills, relationships with lots of different adults etc.

    Try not to let the guilt overwhelm you. I'm not dismissing how you feel but if you have no choice right now, then you have no choice. You are doing the best you can for your family, and cc is a part of that ATM. Doing the best for your family makes you a wonderful mummy :-) It does get easier...

  3. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (12-02-2016),azelqra  (12-02-2016),babyla  (12-02-2016),MissMuppet  (12-02-2016),Mokeybear  (13-02-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Is it an option to have your DD go to daycare in Mt Hawthorn (if not already...) that way the commute is spent together in the car, an extra hour+ each day, play baby/kid music, sing and "chat" together...

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Kaybaby For This Useful Post:

    Little Miss Sunshine  (12-02-2016)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Child care guilt

    It's so hard isn't it. I also work a fair distance from home (incidentally, Mt Hawthorn to Bullsbrook).

    I chose to put DS & DD in a daycare close to home - mainly as there was only one daycare up near work and I wasn't overly keen on it (a second one has since opened but I'm super happy where the kids go) but this does mean they are there for a longer period than I would like.

    As a PP suggested, would a daycare closer to work be better for you? That way you have the commute to sing/talk with bubs (if bubs doesn't mind car trips). I can recommend a great daycare close to my hawthorn if you are interested.

    Best wishes!
    Last edited by wobbleyhorse; 12-02-2016 at 19:44.

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
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    I still have guilt most days 2 years after putting DS into care. Especially when he is sad on drop off.

    I managed to get my DS at childcare closer to work. So we spend the commute in the car on the train together.

    But you are doing what you need to. Yoir child is happy, safe and they love you whether you are home with them full time or are working. Hugs.


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