If the kids are older, can you start talking to them about what they are eating. And making suggestions, as PP said. Baby steps to preparing your own chips, or crumbing your own chicken to make nuggets ? Slowly one meal at a time, and see how they react ? Or what my mum used to do, was that each of us picked a meal we wanted to have during the week, that way, at least once in the week, we got a meal that you enjoyed particularly. Perhaps you can ask them what they would like as a meal, and try and suggest the healthier option ? Saying that how bout we cook it like this, and give it a try. Maybe trial it for a month ?
Or say re: Nutrigrain - say they can have it, maybe twice a week, and the other days they need to find another option (compromising). So slowly you remove it from the shopping list, but you are not cutting it out altogether. Perhaps also remind them that the healthier options will make them feel fuller for longer, so you can use that as information perhaps ? That they are growing bodies, and you need to look after themselves, and live a healthier lifestyle. Will make them feel better too, and better on your wallet too.
PS. do you do most of the cooking, or does your partner ?
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15-02-2016 18:09 #21Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Last edited by 4LeafClover; 15-02-2016 at 18:12.
15-02-2016 18:23 #22
Will they eat other things for breakfast that aren't cereal? To be honest there is very little cereal that I would like that is healthy. My kids by and large hate muesli.
So they usually get eggs for breakfast. Avoids the argument.
Would that be possible?
15-02-2016 19:18 #23-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Partner has poor diet - help!
How old are the kids? Do they eat junk for dinner every day?
Just trying to work out if it could possibly be a case of your partner being stuck in an unhealthy rut and you perhaps being a little too pushy regarding imposing your own eating habits in her? In which case a middle ground may be possible - perhaps if you tone it down a little and focus on being supportive and patient (don't demand change right away) things will work out.
If you don't live together now then your kids couldn't be eating together that often? In which case don't stress if your kids have nuggets and chips once in a while.
Bottom line this is a communication (and possibly control?) issue between yourself and your partner. There's hope depending on how you each approach the issue.
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15-02-2016 20:11 #24
I agree with @harvs and @VicPark. I think it's great that your kids love healthy foods and I can see why you don't want that to change, however I'm your partner (to less of an extreme) but I have a DD who is allergic and intolerant to many foods and meal times are an ongoing battle for us. I hate to admit how many nuggets and chips and plain pasta and plain rice and 2 minute noodles and sausages she eats, how few vegetables she eats (only carrot, unless it's with fruit in a purée sachet or pumpkin in scones). However she eats a lot of fruit, soy yoghurt and oats for breakfast, but it is tough going having fussy kids.
It's not always bad or lazy parenting that has caused that or is the reason things don't change, it's fussy and strong willed kids and parents who like your partner OP that have been beaten down meal time after meal time by their kids fussy eating.
You obviously weren't around since her kids were born, so you may not understand how truly devastating it is that you can't make your kids eat well, so if she's anything like me she probably feels like absolute crap about how her kids eat and she would have tried many things herself in the past, then here is her partner who should be supporting her, trying to tell her she had to get her kids eating perfectly like your kids and she's probably got her back up. I know I would.
So gently, gently try and turn things around and it's a positive that they have your influency around to help them eat healthier but as @harvs said it's a marathon, not a race and breaking that many years of habits could take a year or more.
15-02-2016 20:36 #25
My BIL drank litres of Coke every day and loved chocolate. Then he watched That Sugar Film and completely quit both. Maybe watch it as a family and see if it has any impact?
Disclaimer: I haven't seen it
15-02-2016 21:12 #26
15-02-2016 21:50 #27
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15-02-2016 21:51 #28
15-02-2016 21:51 #29
15-02-2016 21:58 #30
Personally healthy eating is pretty high on my parenting priorities so I wouldn't be ok with my kids eating rubbish several times each week. I don't know that it's bad enough to completely end your relationship over, but I probably wouldn't recommend living together. It will be daily annoyance/conflict that will fester away.
If you do end up living together and she's on board with making changes, you could try some basic things like reward charts for eating well (a star for every healthy meal/snack and X number of stars = some sort of reward like a fun activity or coveted toy). Maybe get them to make their mum a surprise candle-lit dinner that they make from scratch themselves (with your help). Talk to them about why it's important to eat well and why certain foods are good for them but keep it fun, don't lecture them. Grow some veggies & herbs in the backyard and get them to be responsible for taking care of the plants. That way they might get excited to try things they've grown.
The biggest thing is getting your partner to understand why it's so important to you and getting her to agree to some changes. Is there something else you can 'give' in exchange? Maybe you have a bad habit or something that annoys her that you could work on too?
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