I still don't let DD1 aged 9, go by herself unless she's with someone like my friends daughter (over 12) or an adult. The other 3 who are younger need to come with me still.
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10-02-2016 13:26 #11
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10-02-2016 13:37 #12
I have no idea. My eldest is 3. I'm not particularly anxious when it comes to that kind of thing, but I really don't know given that I couldn't yet reliably send my 3 year old to go by herself without her yelling out that she needed my help.
I THINK we went in toilets by ourselves from about 8...but I'm not certain. My sister was 2.5 years older than me, and would usually have been with me anyway.
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10-02-2016 13:43 #13
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10-02-2016 14:12 #14
Honestly, it just depends on where we are that influences my decision.
Sometimes, my 9yo DD, 8yo DS1 and 6yo DS2 use public toilets on their own, other times they don't. If we're at a restaurant (bistro/Maccas/cafe/etc) then they go on their own. If we're at the local (small) pool, they go on their own, if we're at the big city pool we go with them.
If it's just a random public toilet (park/shopping centre/car park/etc) then it just depends, but they usually go on their own and DH or I will wait outside for them, unless we need to go as well.
I try not to instill any kind of fear about public areas, whilst horrible things happen, at the end of the day, things like this aren't an ordinary every day experiences and I'm trying to raise confident, independent children who are aware of what is and is not appropriate behaviours from others. Whilst I understand that isn't going to protect them if the worst happens, I just don't want them fearing the world
10-02-2016 14:19 #15Member
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- Jan 2011
10-02-2016 14:34 #16
Spin off: what age do you let your child go into a public toilet alone?
I used to feel like you do @Lillynix. I still do. I let my 10 and 6 year old girls ride to the shops alone and also to school. So I get what you're saying.
But for me going to the toilet in a public place isn't something they need to be able to do when they are youngish. They can all toilet themselves alone so they don't need to master that. It's a pita dragging 4 kids into a toilet every time but it's what I do.
I recall this thread being discussed on here years ago and a very wise old member commented to the effect that what lesson does a child learn going to the toilet alone? It's not like letting them climb a tree.
I agree the risk is very small but it's one risk where I actually struggle to see a benefit so they suck it up and we all go together.
I'm not in any way criticising your decision. This was a topic I was very meh about until a few years back and I actually changed my mind after a Bubhub thread.
Last edited by Sonja; 10-02-2016 at 15:12.
10-02-2016 17:57 #17
DS is 9 and he goes to the men's room at the swimming centre on his own but every week we have the discussion of what to do if something should go wrong. We tend to go out shopping as a family now so DH will go with him to the toilet and I must say when it is him and me he often doesn't need the toilet. If we are at our local coffee shop I'll let him go on his own as its one toilet so I feel ok.
10-02-2016 17:59 #18
My girls are 9 and 11 and I still go in with them or wait outside for them.
10-02-2016 18:05 #19
I let my 8 year old go with his 12 year old brother but not alone. I make my 6 year old come with me if DH is not with us.
10-02-2016 18:14 #20Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
There are so many variables and i consider case by case basis. Piblic toilet in my local cafe, yes, public toilet at my local beach, no. I also do not ever place a sense of ' responsibility' on an older sibbling. No way.
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