Gosh I'm so tired and emotional this morning. So I've had sleep issues on and off with 7 month old DD since she was born. Started off as terrible catnapping but ok night times (2-3 feeds straight and back to sleep). Day sleeps settled around 5 months which was great and nights got better where we were down to 1 wake up overnight. I had 2 weeks where she even slept 7pm-5/6am straight and then back down til 7:30am.
This all changed just before xmas. She started waking all night long (5-6+ wakings) and staying awake sometimes 2+ hours, feeding 3-4 times. I reduced the feeding to twice a few weeks ago but still struggling with her waking every couple of hours or hourly and had been on waiting list for sleep school/mother baby unit for a month. We got a call on Monday for a vacancy for a 3 night stay and last night was the first night.
They're telling me that we put her to bed too early (6:30-7:30pm). She 'chose' her bedtime when she was a couple of months old and it's never been an issue. They said it's too early and will cause early wake up (never been a problem she usually would wake around 7:30am). So last night they get me to put her to bed at 9pm. And their solution is just to feed her if she wakes 3-4 hourly overnight. So I fed her at 1am then she woke at 5 she didn't seem hungry but they told me to feed her which woke her right up. Their solution then was to get her up for the day. At 5:30am. So they think a great success is her staying up til 9pm (um when do I get a break?) and feeding 3-4 hourly overnight then getting up at 5am. I'm sorry but I cannot cope with that.
I think this is just a fragile vent. I don't need to hear that's what babies are like that's what parenting is. I knew this would be hard but I am sooooo freaking tired right now and yes if I knew it was going to be this relentless I would not have had 2 years of fertility treatment and ivf to be here.
I'm in tears and DH has called in sick to work to come be with us for the day which just makes me feel guilty as I know it's not a great time for him to be off work. I was hoping this would be just what we needed to get back on track so I could get more than 3hrs sleep at a time but now I feel they're just going to tell me I'm being unreasonable. It's so hard when it feels like everyone else's baby sleeps 10-12 hours straight honestly they have no idea how effing awful this is 😢
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10-02-2016 07:39 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Sleep school sucks 😢
10-02-2016 07:44 #2
Hugs! I've been through similar sleep issues but to be honest, when I went to sleep school the approach was very different to this. Where are you?
You have the right to express your concerns.
10-02-2016 07:47 #3
Are they suggesting a dream feed/ roll over feed?
10-02-2016 07:54 #4
Sleep school is hard. Sometimes when you make changes things get worse before they get better. Maybe stick with it for a week or so and if you don't like it you can always go back to doing what you were before? We went with DD when she was 4 months who had some similar issues to your DD (reflux, CMPI, very cranky baby in general). It was such a hard 4 nights while I was there but we have never looked back, she became a dream sleeper and much happier baby.
Hope it works out for you
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10-02-2016 08:18 #5
To be honest their approach does surprise me. I've read A LOT of sleep books and all seem to agree 6-8pm is the ideal bedtime. How is she meant to sleep 11-12 hours if she is going to bed that late, and as you said, where's your time in the evenings? And feeding every time dd2 woke, I'm sure that's how we got her into the habit of night wakings......she expected a feed every time she woke and she got used to the extra calories at night and relied on them. When I sleep trained dd1 (successfully) at 6 months it was a completely different approach.
BUT, then again, I have never been to sleep school, and I'm certainly no expert, so maybe there is a method to their madness? Stick it out whilst you are there..... it might surprise us!
My fingers are crossed for you @gingermillie
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 10-02-2016 at 08:43.
10-02-2016 08:36 #6
Oh and as moosey said I would definitely speak up about your concerns. A 9pm bedtime is not practical for most families therefore there is no point taking that approach if it is something that would not work for your family. It does seem completely ridiculous.
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10-02-2016 08:41 #7
Hugs. I hope today goes better. I agree with your thoughts, 9pm seems way too late to me, but hoping maybe they explain more today and their method makes more sense 😕.
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10-02-2016 08:48 #8
Just great big hugs to you. Don't feel bad about your husband's choice to put his family first.
Sleep schools don't know everything and they aren't always the right fit for your family.
Hope your day picks up x
10-02-2016 09:15 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
I went to one and I hated it, it wasn't for us.
With my 2nd child I found a privately owned one which was awesome. It totally helped with sleep, and also with giving me back my sanity.
Sleep school is not one size fits all. See how you go but don't be afraid to question them.
If you're in Sydney I can give you the name of the other one, they do home visits now and aren't super expensive.
Sending you sleepy vibes OP 👍
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10-02-2016 09:16 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
What youll find is every sleep school/sleep specialist has a different approach. Some bedtimes are different, some say no feeds overnight etc etc. Just look at the advive/recommendations and take what fits you and your daughter.
Id tell them that 9pm bedtime is not going to work and see how the rest of the stay goes.
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