My DH is the same in that he hates his job and he's high up and important where he is which he uses as an excuse for chilling out on the couch with his iPad.
My DH does quite a bit but I'm sure he would do more if he liked his job and wasn't so stressed. Is it the same for your DH?
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11-02-2016 08:35 #41
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Little Miss Sunshine (11-02-2016)
11-02-2016 10:11 #42
DH doesn't really do any household duties. I am a SAHM and work for a friend a couple of days a week. DH works very long hours in finance and earns great money.
DS goes to nursery 1130-330 Monday-Friday, we have a cleaner once a week (including laundering sheets and towels) and all of DH work clothes get dry cleaned so I don't have too much to do around the house (2 bedroom flat in London). During the week it is just DS and I as DH leaves for work before we wake and comes home after DS is asleep (only 2-3 nights early enough for us to eat a late dinner together otherwise he eats at work) so it is quite simple to keep everything in order. On the weekends we eat out a lot and spend most of our time out and about.
DH picks up after himself as we teach DS to do (put plates etc in sink, dirty clothes in hamper etc.), he is actually quite tidy and organised in general so doesn't create a lot of mess. He always thanks me and is appreciative when he comes home and if I ask him to quickly vacuum, take rubbish out etc he will do it without complaint but honestly that doesn't happen often - usually if we have people coming over.
I was in hospital for 5 days in November and he had no trouble keeping the house running, with about 100 text message instructions from me (!!). He was exhausted at the end of it and honestly I think only after that experience truly appreciated what I do during the week - DS and I have a groove and it really is a true joy for me - getting ready for that to become more chaotic this year with hopefully a new addition
11-02-2016 11:06 #43
He is supposed to (as in we agreed):
- take rubbish out twice a week
- do dishes twice during the week (not weekends)
- cook at the weekends (2 nights as the other we go to MILs)
- put his dishes in the sink, clothes in the hamper
Since I got pregnant, I added:
- carry laundry basket for me if I need to have it in a specific room
- toilets and bath (i can't bend)
What he does:
- bins once a fortnight (OMG the smell!)
- dishes once a month (I let them pile up for a few days and he flips and does them...never ever does pots or pans though, just fills them with water)
- puts his coffee cup by kettle
- dirty clothes NEAR hamper
- sweeps his cigarette butts, but doesn't put them in the bin
- cooks on the BBQ once a month (been a few months as ran out of gas)
So, pretty much nothing. He says all I have to do is ask, but when I ask he *****es.
ETA: when we met he did everything except floors- he just doesn't see them.
After a few months of living together, he just stopped... I'd complain, he'd do stuff, then regress.
I was out of work for 3 months so we agreed I'd do the majority, then I started working and he was out of work for a month, did he take over? Hahahaha no.
So when he tries to use the "you're at home" excuse, I remind him of when he wasn't working and I'd come home after a 16 hour day and have to cook, clean and do laundry.
He really is useless, and it has taken me being pregnant and actually unable (and him yelling because stuff isn't done, despite me telling him I physically cannot do it) to take over, for me to realise.
Started counselling yesterday though, so there is some mild hope.
Last edited by DT75; 11-02-2016 at 11:13.
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