Atheists and non-religious people, if your child grows up believing in God or wants to join a religion how will you feel?
Religious people, if your child grows up and shuns God and/or religion and decides they don't believe, how will you feel?
Would you try and change their mind? Would you challenge them?
If either of my kids grows up and decides they want to follow a religion or that they believe in god, to be honest I wouldn't be rapt. No, I wouldn't shun them or disown them but I would prefer they didn't. I also know DH would challenge them; he is very well read (has read the bible, the Qur'an and some of the Torah, as well as a huge range of scientific texts by the usual Dawkins/Hitchens/de Grasse Tyson crowd) and I very much doubt he would sit quietly by.
I know my grandmother is very disappointed I don't believe in god and while she hides it well, she had told me plenty of times that she knows I will "see the light" and come back to the Church. I know she prays for me and the boys a lot (they're not baptized). I tell her she's wasting her time 😂
Anyway, just curious what others would honestly feel or think (as honest as you can be in a hypothetical situation).
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04-02-2016 13:52 #1
04-02-2016 14:02 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
Well my stance on religion and God is... confused. lol. So I guess I don't really have any strong feelings on what my kids believe. At the moment though I don't really believe in God.
So, my kids. DS1 has already gone from believing in God to being an atheist. I am fine with that. Maybe a little happy about that.
My DD and DS2 still believe in God. I am also fine with that, though I must admit I get a little rolly eyed (on the inside!) when they say things like "see mum! I prayed that the weather would be good today, and it is!". If they were to properly start following a religion and going to church when they were older, honestly, I would only be ok with certain religions. I am not comfortable with some religions. Some I am fine with. If it was one I wasn't happy with... would I try and change their minds? Maybe. Probably. I would certainly have discussions with them about it.
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04-02-2016 14:04 #3
You know, your reply in my thread has had me stewing about it since I read it... To be honest, I don't know why I'm not telling my children that I'm an atheist. It's what I believe (or don't, for that matter) and my preference would be for them to have the same view. I suppose I just want them to come to that conclusion on their own?
Truthfully, I would be quietly disappointed if they went against facts and chose to follow much of the religious aspects. There is a depth of belief/commitment that I would start voicing my concerns.
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04-02-2016 14:07 #4
I have spoken to my DH a few times about this.
DH and I were both raised in reasonably religious families. I am not a believer, and nor is he. Our families had mixed feelings on our choices. Especially when it came to when we got married, we opted for a non-religious ceremony, and neither of our boys are baptised or christianed.
I think given how our families reacted to us having opposite beliefs to them, I think we are a bit more understanding on the matter. So if my eldest decided to believe in a religion, I don't think I'd mind. I think the one thing we need to explain though is, that it's ok to believe what you want to believe, but know that not everyone believes in the same thing.
In the end, it's what makes him happy, and for some people it helps with direction. To each their own.
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04-02-2016 14:08 #5
My sons beliefs are completely different mine. He believes God and I don't. But I leave him be. Who is to say which of us is right anyway. He can attach himself to a religion when he is older if he so chooses (some I would prefer more than others) but I will make sure he is fully informed before doing so. I can't imagine it being to pleasant for him, for me to tell him he can't believe in God, anymore than it was pleasant for me having my parents tell me I should. And regardless of what I say, he will believe what he believes anyway, there's no changing it. Same applies for all of my kids. I think instinctively we want our children to believe what we believe, but free will often says otherwise.
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04-02-2016 14:13 #6
I don't feel any different to her than I do the rest.
She a adult and can make her own decisions. I love her the same. I treat her the same.
I don't challenge her beliefs they are hers not mine. The person I challenge about their beliefs is my own.
I am a huge believer in when it comes to faith it has to be a personal decision. It's not my place to have a opinion on it. It's my place to support my kids their decisions weather I agree with them or not.
Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 04-02-2016 at 14:16.
04-02-2016 14:15 #7
I am a Christian and while I'll share my faith with dd, I respect her right to believe what she chooses. Honestly, I'd be more disappointed if she didn't share my values of compassion and acceptance (which are two of the main things I personally draw from my faith) than I would be by her not believing in God. Does that make sense?
Eta: not directly related but somewhat relevant, my husband is agnostic and it was our shared values that attracted me to him. I have no desire to try to convince him about God.
Last edited by BettyV; 04-02-2016 at 14:17.
04-02-2016 14:17 #8
Nope not in the slightest.
I'm non religious - I don't know what I believe in.
My daughters go to a catholic school.
My eldest believes in god and gets great comfort in talking to him. I love that she can have a faith and honestly sometimes I wish I did too.
I wouldn't care if she didn't believe either.
04-02-2016 14:19 #9
04-02-2016 14:19 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Athiest here & if my children grow up to be religious that's totally ok with me. On the condition that they don't go over the top, preaching, talking about it with or around me.
They don't know I'm an athiest simply because I don't feel the need to tell them. I don't want my decision swaying theirs & I know for a fact that if they knew, it would put doubt in their mind & they would probably be confused.
They occasionally ask questions & I simply say "this isn't a subject I'm overly confident talking about, nor do I want to. Dad will be able to help you more" so they probably have some idea but we constantly tell them that whatever they choose to believe is ok.
Only time will tell. I obviously have preference as to what I would like them to believe but in no way, shape or form will i push them towards 1
Way or the other.
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