Hugs to you as it's tough. I can't offer much advice as I'm more in the sleep training camp and can't cope personally with co sleeping, constant feeding etc but I just wanted to say don't feel guilty or feel it's your fault. I started trying to get ds2 to self settle at about 8 weeks and he was doing well. Then he hit the 4 month sleep regression and would wake every 45 mins or so and I took the attitude of doing whatever worked to get him back to sleep which ended up being feeding. I kept thinking it would be ok as I would do some sleep training at 6 months like I did with ds1 and it would all be fine. Well 2 months down the line of sleep training and he's still a monster! I spent the first few weeks thinking it was all my fault, I had got him into bad habits etc but I've come to realise that all babies are unique and my little one is just never going to be a great sleeper. He's more needy and although we worked hard to get his sleep better (was down to 2 night wakings) he's the kind of baby that gets disrupted easily so now he has a cold and was waking literally every 10-15 mins a few nights ago.
If you are happy with the suggestions offered such as co sleeping I would just do what you can to get through, don't worry that you are setting up bad habits as it just causes unnecessary stress. And also don't feel bad that you are struggling. I think it can be very hard hearing people say "oh mine were the same, I just did this and that and it worked fine." Well sadly some things don't work for all of us, I can't co sleep or feed lying down so it's never helped me with constant wakings and I've felt that my desire to get baby sleeping better (and me!) has been a selfish decision as other people just go with the flow and manage fine. Do what you need to get through this tough stage. Good luck.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 20 of 245
01-02-2016 11:36 #11
The Following User Says Thank You to nh2489 For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 12:18 #12
I'm definitely happy to sleep train too when she's older. I was always of the thought do whatever works when she's young as I can fix it later- but unfortunately I haven't figured out anything that works right now.
She sleeps in a fisher price rock and play sleeper (shaped like a swing, it's fab, you can rock them in it) with a mattress right next to her or in her swing- it doesn't make any difference to her wake ups. I haven't attempted the cot as yet.
I've tried co sleeping, I'd love to be able to, but I just can't figure how to do it successfully, it never has worked for either child. Plus logistically I can't feed lying down as I'm barely an A cup lol!
Dd2 is very easy and happy during the day. She catnaps usually for 40 minutes, and if I'm lucky a longer nap in the afternoon. I'm not overly bothered by the naps as dd1 grew out of her catnapping at 6 months, and it's not like I can rest whilst she sleeps any way with a 3 year old lol. She does go down very easy after 90 minutes awake time without a fuss.
I should consider daycare I know, but I feel so guilty about the changes dd1 has already gone through, I'd feel like I'd abandoned her. Plus money is very tight on maternity leave. I think I'm just too scared to even look into it but DH is happy to try it.
Thanks for the posts and hugs everyone, it has helped. I know it won't last forever but I just can't see how I can survive another night, let alone a week, or month, or several months..... I feel like I'm being robbed of my chance to enjoy this time.
01-02-2016 12:24 #13
I know exactly how you're feeling. DD2 was a nightmare. Still not great at 2 but I'm only up to her 3-5 times a night now and she settles quickly. At her worst she woke every hour and took 45mins to get back to sleep, leaving me 15mins get any sleep in before she woke up.
I'm a solo parent so no help on hand. I remember hearing my neighbours truck leave each morning and I would burst into tears because that was all the sleep I was going to get, nighttime was over. I had a 2yo who had just dropped her day sleep. Thankfully she went to care 3 days a week so on those days I would curl up with DD2 and we would nap together.
My sister ended up driving 3hrs to my place on the weekend just to give me a break.
After about about a month I went to the pead. She was nearly 6 months by then. She has reflux. We started meds and swapped to goats milk and she started only waking about 5 times a night.
Could it be something you're eating upsetting her belly? Reflux?
The Following User Says Thank You to Wise Enough For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 12:52 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
My 16 weeks old (today!) has never slept for more than three hours since birth. I am a total wreck. He is my fourth so I do not have a minutes peace and no family or help from anyone except my DH who takes him from 7pm-10pm and 6am until 7ish while I sleep or try to sleep whilst he fusses with DH. I have fallen into co sleeping and I HATE it. I am not well rested at all. I wish I'd never started to be honest. We are going to a day stay hands on settling course this Thursday and I'm hoping this helps in some way. I'm also considering early solids even though 'they' say it won't help, I am desperate! You're not alone!
The Following User Says Thank You to MrsIsMe For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 14:19 #15
I hope it gets better for you soon x
The Following User Says Thank You to binnielici For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 14:43 #16
I honestly think you should go for daycare. At 3, your daughter will probably love it! Plus, think of it this way: she's better off with one/two days a week in care in order to gain a more well-rested mum! You could sleep on day care days and that might be enough to get you through
The Following User Says Thank You to Ruby_Tuesday15 For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 15:03 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
Big hugs I've just come out of those horrible sleeps with my DS. I hired a sleep consultant whose biggest tips were to break our feed to sleep dependency and put down awake (not drowsy at all) and allow to self settle to sleep.
The Following User Says Thank You to PinkPopsicle For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 15:11 #18
01-02-2016 15:23 #19
hi littlemisssunshine. try to just take things one day at a time. everything will be made even more difficult if you start worrying too far into the future. try to relax and just nap/sleep when you can. if you really don't want to use daycare for your older one, perhaps some sort of play pen, secure area, that your lo will be happy and safe on her own, and you can find some rest. sometimes even just 10 mins of a power nap, can lift you up for the next hour or two. hugs, marie.
The Following User Says Thank You to SuperGranny For This Useful Post:
01-02-2016 16:02 #20
I feel you. my 10mnth old has been waking 1-3hrly for a few weeks. he has never been a sleeper.
I have black rings around my eyes. constantly. it sucks
The Following User Says Thank You to shadowangel0205 For This Useful Post:
SoftmatsSoftmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and ...
LATEST7 ways to break the ‘mumnotony’ at homeGuide to government family benefit payments36 tips for long-haul flights with babies and children
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
I am... #20General Chat
Missed miscarriage... waiting, waiting, waitingPregnancy Loss Support
Pressure cookersGeneral Chat
any one else get a bfp after laparoscopy?Endometriosis Chat
For those looking at studying Midwifery- FAQ & AHubbers who are studying
IVF/FET April & May chatConception & Fertility General Chat
Bbt chart thread #8Conception & Fertility General Chat